Still Going Strong
by LUNAtic2111
Summary: New challenges await the VA gang. Juggling Court and college life, getting the Moroi fighting program to start, dealing with Tasha's trial... And as if that wasn't enough already, there are attacks to stop, weddings to attend, and research to be done! This is what Rose, Lissa, Christian and Dimitri are up to during the bloodlines series.
1. Packing and Pondering

LISSA

I folded the last piece of clothing that I'd picked out to pack and laid it on top of the pile in the suitcase. There was only light summer stuff and the occasional sweater for cold nights – I would be coming back every weekend, so I wouldn't need to pack all my things just yet.

It was way too early to pack anyway. We still had a week until classes started. I'm sure Rose would not even start packing until one hour before our departure. But with my current schedule, I never knew when I would have the time again. And I liked being prepared. And, well, I had just this one excuse to spend an hour alone in my room, without guardian eyes watching my every move, without even Rose talking about leaving, and without talking at all. There was so much to think about, and I barely had the time to think whether I wanted coffee or tea for breakfast. I was in a mess, and I was leaving a mess behind. Sure, the whole Moroi world was a mess right now, at least when it came to politics. But I was a little more in the middle of it, to say the least. To say it more to the point, I was the new and still teenage queen to a secret empire in turmoil over murder, treason, lethal attacks and questionable new laws. And even though I hadn't initially agreed on joining the fray of this craziness, it was me who took the last step and said "Yes" when they asked me the insane question: "Do you, Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, accept the title, the rights and duties, the burden, the gift, and the honor, of being the righteous queen of the Moroi and dhampir races?"

So, yes, this was my mess to deal with. And I would deal with it as best I could. I had not given this answer lightly, and I knew my life would never be the same again. I knew my life would never be the way I used to picture it.

What I hadn't given as much thought to was that this answer would also change the lives of those around me. I hadn't considered that my friends would now need to ask for an audience when they wanted to visit me. I hadn't considered that my boyfriend would constantly feel like an unwelcome addition to an exclusive kind of pool party. And above all, I hadn't anticipated that a sixteen-year-old innocent and almost uninvolved girl would be attacked and fatally wounded because of my loaded little answer. That anyone would take out their disagreement with my being crowned queen on Jill was still kind of mind-boggling to me. Heck, I hadn't even known that Jill was in the picture at all until a few days before I was chosen. How could I have known that I wasn't only making a decision for my life and for the political system of my people, but for the life and death of one young girl who had nothing to do with it all?

My memory was still unbiddenly invading my mind with the horrible pictures of that night. It was supposed to be the celebration for the start of my reign. There was a big reception for all the important royals who wanted to personally give me their blessing, tell me they voted for me or just have a word with the next monarch. I remember people crowding in on me with champagne glasses in their hands, me smiling and talking to as many people as I could, trying to remember names and faces and finding something nice to say to everyone. I remember Christian standing next to me, still reeling from the events of the past days but making such an effort to put on a presentable façade so he could be with me. I remember all the guardians along the walls, me seeking out Roses face every now and then for a little reassurance. Then there was a banquet, people seated on long tables on one of the largest rooms there are in the palace. I didn't get much actual eating done, but that was probably for the best because I wouldn't have been able to stomach much anyway. And then there were guardians running at me from all sides, before I had even made out any kind of threat. For me, Jill's death was being shoved out of the room, along corridors and up and down stairs and then waiting until all was sorted out. Guardians telling me that there had been injuries, but they couldn't give me more information at this point. Guardians telling me that there had been no casualties and that the attackers had been apprehended. Me breathing a sigh of relief. And finally Adrian, the next day, looking at me with that accusing look in his eyes that he was now giving me as much as he was giving to Rose. He wasn't saying it, but I could hear it clearly between the lines of the sober explanation he was reciting: _They killed her because of you. They killed sweet, innocent Jill because you and your meddling friends couldn't leave well enough alone. _He'd been one of those meddling friends himself, but he wasn't really in touch with reality much these days. Since the breakup with Rose, he was a wreck. In hindsight, I should be thanking the heavens that he hadn't been too drunk to even access spirit at all that night. But I didn't care. All I cared about at that moment was that he had prevented me from being responsible for someone losing their life. He had given it back to her. He had saved Jill, brought her back from death like I had done for Rose years ago.

Thinking about Rose and the psychic bond we had shared almost made me a little nostalgic. I guess it was harder for Rose, seeing as for me, the bond had been little more than a psychic manifestation of our friendship. Even though knowing Rose was with me had been a comfort in hard times, I didn't miss her ability to jump into my head and my thoughts at any given moment all that much. And Rose would be coming with me. She would be one of my personal guardians, and the most personal of my personal guardians at that. Whereas I was sending Jill to a school among humans at the other side of the continent, uprooting her from her family and everything she knew. There would be very little comfort for her out there, I knew. At least Adrian would be coming with her. I hoped he'd soon pull himself together enough to actually be a help for her.

The door opened quietly. I felt my mood instantly lighten up a notch; the only people who were allowed to enter without a guardian announcing them were Rose and Christian, and Rose was off in Palm Springs checking the conditions we would be entrusting Jill with.

Christian gave me a smile as he dropped his bag on the floor and closed the door behind him.

"Will you be living out of a suitcase every time you're here now, because you can't bear to pack less than a week in advance? You know it will be a while until you'll be at one place for more than five days?"

He had come closer and was taking my hand from where it still lay on top of the clothes pile. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He smelled of shampoo and freshly washed clothes; he'd been in the gym and showered there after training. At least by his smell I could sometimes tell where he'd been. He was off doing his own thing a lot while I was in meetings with council members or someone or other, and half the time I didn't know what he was up to. Though I suspected that he was just looking for some place to be alone and brood. He must have been missing our old attic back at school right now, now that he again wasn't exactly everybody's favorite person and his girlfriend had to make an appointment on her schedule so she could spend time with him. And then there's the fact that I'd be leaving for college in a week and leaving him alone at court with an aunt in jail for assassinating my predecessor and almost killing Rose.

"I'll be too busy saying my goodbyes to you when the real time for packing comes", I mumbled into his shirt. We just stood there wrapped around each other for a moment. I suddenly wished I had spent my free hour with him instead of with my college preparation.

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**This is my first fanfic! I'm so excited about it! **

**I'm happy about all kinds of comments from you guys. I'm not an English native speaker, so everything that improves my English writing is welcome, spelling, grammar, stuff that just sounds weird…. **

**I do not own VA or any of the characters!**


	2. Prepare Kids for Kicking Ass 101

DIMITRI

The paper in front of me was still pristine white and empty. The pen I was initially intending to write with had by now flown in every corner of the room and been retrieved again and again, because I couldn't stop twirling it between my index and middle finger and catapulting it in the air inadvertently. I didn't know why I was trying to plan these fighting lessons in writing, anyway. It wasn't like I hadn't spent years teaching young people how to fight. This wasn't new for me. Just because they were Moroi didn't make any difference in teaching methods.

I was nervous, though. I had had an impeccable reputation when I was teaching at Saint Vladimir's Academy. And I had been teaching dhampirs, students whom everyone, including themselves, expected to train diligently and rigorously for the hard life and possible death of a guardian. What I would be doing soon was something very different. For one, I still had the taint of having been Strigoi on me, and most people didn't give much about what I was saying. Not the best prerequisite for a teacher. Also, I was guessing that Moroi would be a slightly different clientele when it came to hard physical work. Even though the Moroi who would be joining my classes would do so voluntarily, I was wondering about what they would say when I requested them to do push-ups or run laps. And maybe I was paranoid, but the possibility that some people might join my classes just to see the once-great Dimitri Belikov come down to a barely-dhampir fighting instructor for Moroi who saw the whole training affair as a joke was nagging at my mind. If Christian hadn't asked me to teach him and some other interested Moroi, I would have been content to do regular Court guardian duty until he decided to leave Court. But since as long as he was staying, there was nothing else he would need a guardian for, I didn't want to start our Moroi-guardian relationship on the wrong foot by refusing him, and then not see him for months.

Besides, I did actually greatly admire and support his efforts. Notwithstanding the fact that a similar approach to Moroi self-defense had let his aunt to almost kill the love of my life, I believed that his stance on learning how to fight to be a worthy cause. I would just have preferred that their first teacher not be a social reject and possible laughing stock.

Then again, maybe Christian and I were just too much of a fit in that respect for our pairing to be a coincidence.

The ringing of my phone mercifully intervened in my fruitless efforts to fill the paper and saved my pen from another flight through the room.

"What's up, Comrade?" a cheerful voice greeted me from the other side of the line.

"Roza." I tried to convey all my love for her in my voice, just as I knew she was doing.

"I can't really tell you much on the phone. I just wanted to check in on you before we take off. What are you up to?"

"I'm… I'm planning my first lesson after a long time out of teaching," I admitted.

"Planning? You actually _plan_ your lessons?" She laughed. Well, so much for conveying love on the phone.

"Yes, Rose, I do. Good teaching needs some forethought."

"Good teaching includes more than lounging on a mat reading sappy books while watching your students do laps, you know? Did they teach you that at Prepare-kids-for-kicking-ass 101?"

"Funny. I heard you had become quite the model guardian through exactly these means…"

Rose sighed, though probably not in response to my comment. "I already miss you, Dimitri", she said. "I'll only be home for two days before we take off again. You better clear your schedule, Comrade, 'cause I have some plans."

"I'll try my best," I promised.

"Gotta go… we're boarding now. See you soon, Comrade!" Rose said with a hint of distraction in her voice.

"You will," I answered lamely. Her reminding me that she wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces of me when this lesson went wrong did nothing to cheer me up.

"And Dimitri," she added, all mine again suddenly. "Don't worry about those lessons. You kick ass. And you kick ass teaching how to kick ass. If there are any of those spoiled little brats of Moroi in your class, just do exactly what you do best .They have no business being there and profiting from your superb teaching anyway."

"I think I will find a subtler way of letting them know of any transgressions, but your advice is much appreciated," I let her know, smiling.

"Love you! See you soon," she said again, hurriedly. I started to say that I loved her too when she hung up on me mid-sentence. I told the dead phone anyway.


	3. Off to College

LISSA

"The queen is going to ride in this vehicle."

"There is no more room for luggage in my trunk, this needs to go in yours!"

"I have only three passengers, there should be one more, who else goes in my car?"

The guardians knew only ordered chaos, so there was no hectic running around or stressed-out yelling at the last-minute preparations for our departure. All the same, there was a tension around them that showed how much my protection was weighing on them. I felt marginally sorry for what I put them through with my insistence on going to college. But I was way too excited to be a freshman in college to really care that much. And an educated queen is a better queen, in my selfish opinion.

Since there wasn't much I could to about loading the cars, I just stood at the side and watched the guardians' efficient packing. They had all contributed their bags – which were all much smaller than mine – to a pile on the ground, which was now being distributed into the trunks of the three cars that would make up my little convoy. Eleven guardians plus Rose would be coming with me on the hour-and-a-half trip to Lehigh. Another twelve were already there, securing the parameters and my apartment. They would all stay there and take shifts to maintain a constant detail of six guardians around me at all times. A ridiculous amount of protection for one single college girl. Not exaggerated for a queen, however.

Amazing, I thought, how quickly I was adapting to the concept of being important.

Rose and I would share a room, so she would probably be around me close to 24 hours a day rather than her required eight. Two guardians would pose as our roommates and stay in the second room of the apartment, while the remaining three or four would patrol the vicinity of the building. That was when I was not attending classes. I had forgotten the exact placement of every guardian when I would be in class – I had been briefed extensively on my guardian detail yesterday, but my thoughts had strayed. To Christian, for example. He was standing next to me now, an arm around my waist and an expression of barely hidden amusement on his face.

"This is going to be fun," he said sarcastically. "You, Rose, and twenty-something stony-faced shadows around the walls."

"Don't make fun of them," I made a half-hearted attempt of defending my so-called shadows. In truth, the twenty-three top-of-the-class guardians that had been hand-picked for me by head guardian Hans Croft himself had obviously not been chosen for their easy-going natures. Most of them looked rather grim and a little scary. I could only hope that it was the journey to Lehigh that had them all on edge and that they would ease up a little once we were on secured perimeter.

"On the upside, I won't have to worry about some guy hitting on you. They won't come close enough," Christian joked.

I elbowed him in the side. "You won't have to worry about someone hitting on me because I won't let them. I'll hit them back," I said, trying to follow his lead in lightening up the atmosphere. This was when finally Rose showed up, looking slightly disheveled and dragging a large backpack with bulges so impossibly numerous that made it seem likely she had used brute force to stuff her clothes down the poor thing. Dimitri was at her heels, matching her half-running steps with long even strides of his own. It was pretty obvious to me that those two had done anything but proper packing when they retreated to her room a few hours ago. Christians arm tightened almost imperceptibly around me. We had spent the last hours together, too. But we had just been lying in each other's arms, promising one another that our time spent apart would be great and the days would fly past until I would be coming back on Friday.

Rose threw her bag into one of the open trunks, completely upsetting the order that one of the other guardians had so painstakingly tried to implement. There was a little commotion and Rose and the other guardian almost started an argument, but Rose, I was proud to say, gave way and submitted to the luggage ruling guardian. From there on, it only took a few more moments for everything to disappear in the cars and every guardian to have found their place. Now it was just the four of us – Christian, Rose, Dimitri and me - standing beside the ready-to-go convoy and twenty-three waiting guardians. I was glad that Christian and I had already said everything we wanted to say. It seemed like Rose and Dimitri had, too, because we were all standing there in an awkward silence.

"Well, have a nice week, you two," Rose said finally.

"Have fun getting your butt handed to you by Dimitri, Christian," she added as an afterthought. She just couldn't stop herself.

"Don't get overzealous with your own butt-handing," he retaliated. "We wouldn't want you to break a fingernail, now, would we?"

Then the two hugged as if they weren't constantly bickering my ears off. Go figure.

Rose kissed Dimitri quickly on the lips, then gave him a huge smile and slapped him on the arm like a tough-guy greeting. With that, she practically hopped towards the middle car.

"Let's get this show on the road, Liss!" she said with a backwards glance towards me. When she saw that I made no move to separate from Christian, she added with an exaggerated eye-roll: "Oh, come on. It's only five days!"

I was glad to see that Rose and Dimitri took their parting so lightly. After all, they had considered themselves insanely lucky to even see each other on the weekends. If Dimitri hadn't been assigned to Christian and Rose to me, who knows how far apart they might have been forced to live?

I turned to Christian and leaned my head against his.

"So," I began. "See you on Friday, then."

"Yup. You have fun being a freshman and all."

I knew he was sincere, even though he sounded a little gruff right now. We shared one more kiss, than I too had to take my seat in the royal college shuttle. Rose had already settled in hers with an excited grin on her face. She was almost more excited to go to college than I was, though not for the studying part of it. We both twisted around to look back, and I had to resist waving through the window like some kid waving goodbye to his grandma. As soon as Christian and Dimitri were out of view, I took a deep breath. Time to focus on college, now.


	4. First Class

DIMITRI

I kept my pace confident and steady as I strode into the guardian gym that we would use for practice. Five Moroi were waiting for me, lounging in various poses around the training equipment and the open area designed for hand-to-hand combat training. Christian was there, obviously, sitting lazily on a pile of mats. I also knew the small blonde girl standing next to him: Mia. The other three were strangers to me.

They all got up and gathered around Christian and Mia when they saw me. They looked at me expectantly, with a sort of pleasant anticipation, even. Christian bounced on his feet as if he could barely wait to start.

"Ten laps out on the field," I jumped straight into the topic. "Then we'll see what we can do in here."

To my surprise, no one complained at all. Not even a single grumble under someone's breath. They just filed out and started for the running track.

"Seems like Rose gave me a pretty accurate idea of your training style," Christian muttered with a wink as he passed me.

I was a little lost for a moment, standing all by myself in the training area. I hadn't thought to bring a book, but those Moroi wouldn't give me as much time by myself as Rose used to anyway. I had given them two and a half miles to run. Though that was not much for novice or guardian standards, I didn't know whether entirely untrained Moroi would be able to do even that. I judged it to be better to go out with them and see how they were doing. I would probably also be able to judge their level of commitment by how they were dealing with this task.

We had scheduled our classes to be early in the vampiric day. The sun was still out, but not burning strong enough to bother the Moroi. I walked the few paces to the running track and took in the scene before me. Mia and Christian were running side by side with one of the other three. I knew they wouldn't have a problem with the assigned ten laps; they had asked me for advice before and by now probably ran more than that regularly. The man next to them seemed to keep himself fit as well. Looking to be in his late thirties, he was the oldest member of our little group. The other two – boys about Christian's age – were already struggling a bit, though they could not be far into their third lap. They were running side by side, too, but unlike the others, lacked the breath to keep a conversation going. They were giving their best, though. And they both seemed to be very much intent on not letting the others get too far ahead of them.

I waited for them to pass the place I was standing. When they were within earshot, I said: "Go your own pace. Don't try to catch up with them. In a few weeks, you won't be lagging behind anymore."

They slowed down a bit, looking relieved to be able to catch their breath. As they dragged along, I started to think that I had underestimated my students. At least those few Moroi really seemed prepared to put in some effort and break a sweat to learn to defend themselves. Maybe I hadn't given Christian enough credit in his ability to recruit motivated people, either.

When they were finished, I took them into the gym, where I went through the training equipment with them. I took the time to show everyone the machines, weights and reps appropriate for them. Then they went through their routines, unflinchingly.

It turned out that we had done well to schedule our training so early, as Marc, the older man, had to leave for work. I realized we would have to consider a two-track system if we wanted to pursue this training program on a professional level. Either that, or we could add night classes and leave the day free for people to work. That would mean that people who needed to work while also participating in the program would have quite a busy timetable.

Then I realized what I was doing here, and stopped myself short. I was already planning the whole course as if the Moroi fighting program was already a done deal. It wasn't. We didn't know whether we could book the gym on a regular basis. I didn't know whether I would be released from work for the time required to teach these classes. And most importantly, I didn't know whether these five Moroi would really stay committed to their training once it got a little tougher.

To be fair, for I was fairly positive that Mia and Christian were in for the long run.

Christian caught up with me when I left the gym, having discharged my pupils for the day. He must have showered in record time to catch me.

"We don't exactly need you to watch us running, you know?" he said.

That took me aback a little. It was him, after all, who had asked me to do these classes.

Then he continued: "I mean, we could do this on our own, and you check in on us every now and then. Then we could use the training time with you for actual fighting lessons. We should have early and night classes anyway, so we have time to recover in between and can pack more classes in one day. We will have to find time to learn magical means of fighting, too, but we don't have permission for that yet, so we don't have to accommodate those just yet. I'm just saying, it would be good to have enough time to actually get to the combat training, don't you think?"

I slowed my pace, so he didn't have to jog along with me. He seemed a little flustered when I didn't answer immediately.

"Or can you only make time in the morning? That's fine, too, we could do it the other way around. Or…" He faltered. "Well, what do you think?"

He was starting to remind me a little of Jill. I had been surprised to realize this, but I was having this effect on him. Christian was normally very, if not overly, self-confident and even had a tendency to act a little superior at times. But I had noticed the first time we met not as two people who happened to have the same friends, but as a guardian and his assigned Moroi, that he didn't seem to quite know what to make of me. I'd even had the impression that he was not as happy about being assigned a guardian as most Moroi would have been. I knew him least well of all of Roses friends, and I was well aware that my reclusive habits didn't do much to make me seem approachable. We would have to get to know each other for our guardian-Moroi relationship to work. This was another reason why I thought it was a good idea so spent time teaching him.

"How about you and me go sit down somewhere and sketch out a training plan for a potential Moroi fighting program to follow. We can present this to all the essential authorities and get permission for gym use and such. I don't think my duties will be a problem. Guardian headquarters should approve of this, after all."

This perked him up again. I was starting to think that we would both have a very interesting time with fighting classes.

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**Reviews would be nice!**

**Again, I don't own VA. **


	5. Settling in and Making Progress

LISSA

Paces were picking up, both at Court and in class. For the first week or two, all my homework and queen duties had been of an administrative nature: registering for classes, getting textbooks, getting some new council members sworn in, signing up for extracurricular activities (or avoiding to do so), planning meetings around classes, getting stuff for the new apartment …

College life proved to be a bit of a disappointment so far. It seemed to mainly consist of being at the right classroom at the right time and listening to a teacher drone on. Or a professor, in this case. But I guess that for one, I had to give it a little more time, and also, the typical college student's life probably didn't entail having twenty-four watchful guardians following my every move wherever they go. I should be happy with any kind of college experience I could get.

I had tried to keep my workload low, for obvious reasons. My classes mostly covered my general education requirements, but I had added an introduction to psychology class and one on public speaking. Rose was okay with my choice, though she made it clear that she thought calculus classes were an invention of mankind that one had better stayed the hell away from if one wanted to keep one's sanity. But while I was fairly attached to my already questionable sanity, I did not agree on the devilish danger of math.

We had managed to get into all the classes that were unattractively early from a human schedule perspective. From a vampiric schedule perspective, these classes started in the early evening and went until a few hours into our night. It allowed us to keep some semblance of a normal schedule: we just shifted it a few hours forward. We would get up really late and have classes really late. Alternating between a Court schedule and a human college schedule would be easy, and also, it meant that I wouldn't have to be out midday, when the sun would be strongest in summer.

Initially, I tried not to let Court work intrude on college work, which meant that I had a pile of work to catch up to every time I arrived at my office on a Friday night. This resulted in me being in or around my office almost constantly, even when there were no meetings scheduled: I would arrive in the dead of night for Moroi – Friday afternoon for humans - , get a few hours of sleep and be whisked off to meetings and other stuff and until I fell asleep on my feet at the end of the day. The first time, Christian and I stayed up during all of my sleeping time catching up on each other's weeks, so that I had trouble keeping my eyes open during the last meeting that day. Other than at nights, I barely saw Christian even when I was at Court. I was starting to really miss him.

After the second weekend of nothing more but short sleepy conversations shortly before me passing out, I decided to scrap my Court-work/college-work separation rule.

Now, with a great deal of paperwork done before Friday, I was looking forward to a few hours of quality time with my boyfriend.

...

We were sitting on my bedroom floor, huddled with our respective partners and leaning against all sorts of furniture or cartons. I had picked the rooms of palace housing that I wanted to live in during my stays at Court, and I had ordered my rooms to be furnished a little more modern - and a lot more to my taste- than palace housing used to be under Tatiana's reign. Finally, this week, the new pieces of furniture had arrived. We had been checking it out when we decided to just have a break on the floor in the middle of half-assembled chairs, tables, wardrobes, a bed and various boxes with items to make my place more homely. Rose was nestled in Dimitri's lap, his long legs snaking around her and his arms around her waist. Christian was perched next to me, talking animatedly about his and Dimitri's progress on the Moroi fighting program.

"Gym times are approved, though we might need to relocate to a bigger gym if more people are going to join us. We'll be training before and after the usual working hours, so people who work full-time can participate in most of our training. That's only two of our group, though, and we're eight by now, so for most of us, training will be the main thing we do. And if the meeting tomorrow goes as planned, we can add magic training to our schedules!"

I was watching him while he talked. He had lost some weight in the past few weeks, but I didn't know whether that was from all the physical exercise he was doing or whether there was some kind of other pressure getting to him. He hadn't mentioned Tasha once since I had started college, but I was sure he wasn't over that yet.

"And we have a second trainer now: Don," Dimitri took over. One could almost get the impression that he was equally as excited about the whole Moroi fighting thing as Christian, which was saying a lot seeing as what an unusually controlled and drawn-back person Dimitri was.

"Mia recruited him. You should know him, seems like you had an encounter involving some compulsion use with him before," he ended suggestively. Rose and I shared a guilty look. I vaguely remembered the guy we once made us help retrieving classified information from guardian headquarters archives….

"And we are almost beyond the point where we can't move from sore muscles every day after training now, so we just might be starting to have a life again. Aaaand, you know," Christian said, somewhat sheepishly. I had not been the only one to sleepwalk to bed at night recently.

"Ooooh, doesn't that make me glad I will no longer be sharing in that kind of activity!" Rose piped up, putting on her best annoying-the-hell-out of-Christian tone. She would probably have given him a mock punch how, if she hadn't been so comfortably settled into Dimitri's arms. Christian just returned her taunting smile with one of his own.

"I just hope things will go well tomorrow," I said. I didn't want to dampen their high spirits, but I needed to be realistic on this. "I still don't know if I have the Council behind me on this."

"They can't refuse this forever," Rose said reasonably. "Moroi defending themselves is the best option we have, and even those who refuse to see reason in this can hardly claim that trying it isn't a good idea. They'd be stupid."

"Well, that would be a new concept," Christian muttered.

"They have to say yes," I breathed. "Without seeing how the Moroi are doing in training, I can hardly repeal the dhampir age decree."

"Give it time, Lissa," Rose said. "You can't expect to right every wrong during the first weeks of your reign. Not even you can do that."

I grimaced. "Can we call it mandate? Or term of office? Reign sounds so…"

"Royal?" Christian said.

"Outdated?" Rose proposed.

"Eternal?" Dimitri suggested.

"Yeah, all of these. And… daunting." I finally ended.

"It certainly is that," Dimitri said softly, with a kind smile that stayed mostly in his eyes.

"You'll be doing fine, Lissa," Rose said, again. She was telling me this time and time again. "You're still the person best suited for this job!"

"Others wouldn't even worry whether or not they were doing the right thing," Christian said seriously.

I sighed. "I'm so glad I have you guys."

Christian hugged me tightly. Rose gave me a wholehearted "that's-my-girl" grin. Dimitri made to with looking supportive. Then we went off to our respective – and appropriately furnished – bedrooms.

...

The meeting was held in one of the smaller conference rooms. There was no pubic allowed, except those who were directly involved in the matter. Christian and Dimitri presented their concept for the Moroi training one last time. Don, the other guardian who had agreed to teach, was present, as was Hans Croft, the head guardian. Also, Marc had agreed to come, in the hopes that having a properly grown-up Moroi supporting the cause might help it not appearing like the whim of the young.

The eleven Council members regarded them with their usual mix of emotions. Ariana Szelsky, as usual being the most supportive, kept a polite smile on her face as she sat listening, her index finger over her lips as if shushing her fellow Council members. I wasn't so sure about the others. So far, we had only been given updates on the numbers of Moroi who had signed up for the program, the plans for classes, logistics and such. We had had debates on whether to allow them to openly train to use offensive magic and on whether or not to back them financially. Today would be the day to vote.

Dimitri had just finished laying out his plans for the physical training. Now Christian was describing a tentative plan he and Mia had come up with for them to figure out ways to use their magic in a fight. It all sounded good and solid to me. They would be finding out how much Moroi could achieve with training and under proper instructions and provide us with a more informed basis to debate the age decree.

Christian was done. I was still watching the Council members intently to divine any preferences they had on the subject when I addressed them.

"Well, now we heard all there is to the current state of affairs of the Moroi fighting program. I ask you now to give one final statement summing up your opinion on the matter. Then, we will vote."

I wasn't going to call them up by name like in elementary school. They would have to come up with an order of speaking by themselves. It was Ariana who rose to speak first.

"This obviously is a well thought through plan that we can only profit from," she said warmly. "I recommend we let this plan unfold and use the outcome to better assess the potential we Moroi have for defending ourselves. I am wholly in favor of commencing with your schemes, young man." This was directed to Christian.

Next was the Badica princess, who gave her assent with only slightly less enthusiastic words. Unsurprisingly, Prince Ivashkov held the opposite view.

"I have said this on more than one occasion," he said dryly. "Queen Tatiana implemented such a program, and it did not work. Moroi are not made to fight. I will not support such wayward ideas."

He had been told on more than one occasion that Queen Tatiana's program had been fundamentally different from the current one, but he refused to see this.

The Zeklos prince was next, more or less repeating Prince Ivashkov's words. I had noticed before that he tended to orient himself on the Ivashkov family quite a lot. Prince Dashkov pointed out again that if the program came to life, it would not be a permanent fixture but only serve to show us the extend of what the Moroi could do. By the time the Princes Lazar, Drozdov and Tarus had given their little speeches on how we could do great damage with magic and needed to maintain a peaceful stance on it, things became very repetitive. I had heard these arguments in all of our previous sessions. Prince Voda just babbled on about the need to defend ourselves against Strigoi and the necessity of protection without really stating his view. And Princess Ozera, the last to speak, appeared to oscillate between the wish for seeing a family member of hers, albeit a tainted one, rise so some measure of importance, and the wish to stay comfortably behind her guardians' backs forever. I rounded up speech time with my own, explaining again how those who wanted to fight should be helped, not hindered, emphasizing that the program would be for volunteers only, and remembering the Council members that it would be up to us to lay down some new rules for the use of offensive magic, should it become a problem in the dealings of Moroi with Moroi.

"Thank you for your statements," I finished. "We will now come to the vote. All those in favor of supporting the interested Moroi and guardians with equipment, logistics and time allowance, and of permitting them the use of offensive magic within certain boundaries, please stand."

I was glad I got this sentence out. Nervousness had started to in my stomach and made it hard to get a proper breath. This was it – this was the first vote the Council was having under my reign. Mandate. Term of office. Whatever. This was the time of truth. And it concerned a matter that was not unimportant to me personally.

I met Christian's eyes as chairs started to be pushed back. People shifted in their seats, getting up or just getting more comfortable. Christian was trying to put an impenetrable mask on his face, looking composedly at the assembled Council, but I think he was holding his breath, too. Princess Badica got up swiftly. Prince Dashkov next. Ariana got up slowly, but confidently. Prince Conta seemed still unsure as he came to his feet. Then Prince Drozdov and Princess Ozera rose at the same time, and that sealed it – that made six out of eleven Council members! I wouldn't even need a royal tiebreaker! I wish I could see Rose's face, but she was at her place behind me, guarding me. A cheer from her wouldn't have surprised me. I gave my best to keep the elation out of my voice and evenly ask those against the program to rise. Ivashkov, Zeklos, Lazar, Taurus and Voda. Protocol required me to give my vote last, and I couldn't resist a triumphant glance to Christian as I declared my support for his program.

"That settles it, then," I said cheerfully. "We can end this meeting by whishing the Moroi fighting program team all the best for their endeavors." That might have been a little stab to those against it, but I couldn't resist.

A grin broke out on Christians face as the Council members filed out. They hadn't even all reached the door when he crossed the room that separated us and swiveled me around a euphoric hug, whooping. Rose was finally letting out the cheer, and Arianna, who had stayed behind, chuckled softly.

"Good luck with your training, Lord Ozera, Guardian Belikov," she said. "And congratulations to you, your majesty – for your first successful debate outcome!"

With that, she slipped out the door and left us to our celebration.

"You did it!" Rose exclaimed. "I knew it, you did it!"

"Christian and Dimitri did it!" I protested, but no one really cared. Dimitri clapped Christian on the shoulder, and they were already into a conversation about getting the program rolling.

"I just wish the quorum law made the same progress," I said sadly. The quorum law was what caused Jill to have to go into hiding, stating that a monarch must have at least one living family member. She would only be able to safely live in the Moroi society once I had managed to revoke that law.

"One step at a time, Liss," Rose said. "This is a success! The next will follow."

Yes, it was a success. But I would need many more successes if I wanted to make significant changes to the Moroi world.

* * *

**Hi everyone!**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed me so far or is following me or favorited me! It means a lot to me, especially since it's my first story!**

**One thing about this chapter: I don't really know who the Princes and Princesses are at the time Lissa was elected. I couldn't find the first names or even gender of most of them, so I used what I did find and made up the rest. Hope this sounds logical! And I still don't own VA!**

**There will be Romitri in the next chapters :)**


	6. Face Your Demons

DIMITRI

"So, you'll be really busy this week," Rose said, tracing the outline of the muscles on my arm with her finger. "Will you still have time for phone calls?"

I gripped her a little tighter. For some reason, we had landed in a compromising position of the sofa, and the sofa wasn't big enough to accommodate both of us comfortably. Not that our position would have been any less compromising on the bed, but at least Rose wouldn't keep almost sliding off me.

"I will have lots of time for phone calls," I replied. "I'll be on the phone while everyone else is doing the hard work. You know me…"

She laughed. "What, no more western novels? You read them all and they don't write them anymore?"

"I discovered a new favorite pastime."

"Really? I beat western novels?"

"Did I say it's you? You're so sure of yourself, Rose!"

A sly look took control of Rose's perfect features. She lifted her upper body, so her luscious long hair formed a curtain around our faces. I could not help but gaze up at her admiringly. Sweat and the scant light made her beautiful skin have a luminescence all of its own. The smile that graced her lips was so seducing and alluring, full of promise. Willingly, I let myself be swept into a kiss that lasted forever, and still did not last long enough.

Rose's voice was a husky whisper: "Now, what do you say is your favorite pastime?"

I refused to open my eyes, not letting the lingering bliss of her lips on mine go.

"You outclass the whole world of western novels, my Roza. Even just on the phone."

"Glad to hear that, comrade."

Her next kiss was gentle for her standard.

Then there was no more talking for a while.

Eventually, our fervent kisses ceased. We lay with each other, bathing in the other's love. Rose's heart was beating a steady rhythm against my chest, her scars covered between us.

"It will be time soon," Rose said, reluctantly. I took another deep breath of her lovely scent.

"You still need to gather your stuff."

Her head descended on my chest with a little more force than necessary.

"Why do you keep remembering me?"

"Rose…"

Instead of getting up, we started kissing even more passionately than before. We would be late again.

...

Against all odds, we made it to the royal convoy in time, though this was only thanks to Rose's radical way of getting things to fit into her backpack. How she managed to mess up the few personal belongings that she brought on those short stays on Court to the extent that she did was a miracle to me.

I hardly felt the twinge of sadness that I initially felt when Rose and Vasilisa left. We were all getting used to the regular separations, and Christian and I had the soon-to-start Moroi fighting program to look forward to this week.

"See you tomorrow, then," Christian said in turning.

"See you tomorrow."

Apart from our girlfriends being friends and the fighting classes, we still didn't always know what to say to each other.

I took off towards guardian housing at a leisurely stroll. The nights were still pretty warm. The sun would soon be up. Rose and Lissa would arrive in Lehigh just in time to start their first Monday class.

As I entered the guardian building, I ran into Mikhail, who was going the opposite direction.

"Dimitri!" he exclaimed, happy to see me. I was always pleased to see him too; he and Sonya had been going through much of the same struggle as Rose and I had, and I had much sympathy for the couple.

"Nightshift?" I asked.

"Yes. Congratulations on getting the Moroi training program approved! That's quite an achievement!" he praised.

"Thanks. How are the wedding plans coming along?" He had only recently told me the news of his engagement.

"Slowly. But we're working on it," he said with a happy smile.

After some more light banter, his good mood started to subside a little. He looked at me pensively, and his shortening replies caused a brief lull in the conversation. Then he began:

"Say, Dimitri, I have been on jail guard duty a lot recently…" he faded.

He didn't have to say anything more. I knew what he was getting at. Or rather, who.

"Tasha Ozera. You have been guarding her."

"Yes."

"And?"

"Her nephew. Christian Ozera. He still goes to see her a lot. Can't be easy for him, not judging by the way he looks like when he gets out of there."

He eyed me uneasily. "He's your charge. I just thought you should know. If you don't already," he added.

I had known. I had known that Christian had gone to see Tasha directly after she had been arrested. That he still went shouldn't have surprised me. What did surprise me was that I had given this matter no thought whatsoever in the past weeks. Rose had survived and was perfectly healthy again. Tasha would face her trial and most likely be sentenced to death. And even though she had been my friend once, I had severed all emotional connections with her as soon as I'd seen her in the congregation hall, pointing a gun at Moroi.

I quickly thanked Mikhail and stumbled through a hurried goodbye.

I really didn't want to think about Tasha and how she might fare in jail.

...

It turned out I couldn't stop thinking about her after Mikhail said those words. This woman was a constant mental torment in the life of my charge. This woman was the person who had tried to kill my Roza, after she had spent a considerable amount of time framing her for a murder that she had committed herself.

I needed some answers. I had tried to shut all thoughts of her and her deeds out of my mind, but I found I could no longer ignore this.

That was why I found myself in front of the Court security zone the next day after morning classes were over. I had been in no hurry to get here. In fact, I had made a large detour around Court, debating whether I was really ready to see her. When my feet had finally carried me right in front of the jail, I could no longer pretend. I had to go see her.

As a visitor, not a guardian on duty, I had to go through the usual safety procedures upon entering the building. The guardians stationed there didn't seem surprised to see me. They waved me through after some fairly superficial body checks.

This building was so emotionally loaded for me that I didn't even need to anticipate meeting the would-be murder of my beloved to get weak in the knees. I had been held here after I had just been wrenched from the grips of a state that still haunted my dreams – being a Strigoi. These days had been torture. Imprisoned here for having been a being that I despised to my core, being looked at, reviled, and worst of all, tormented by memories of what I had done to Rose. I nearly broke apart when I saw her at the other side of the bars, my glorious, beautiful Rose, still going strong in her love in spite of everything I had done to her.

And then she was in that cell, Rose, in that very cell that I had only so recently vacated. Accused of killing the queen with her stake. To wait in that cell until she would be found guilty and sentenced to death for someone else's crimes.

I shook my head to get out of my dark thoughts. I was about to face the woman who had done this to Rose.

The stairs were not too familiar. I had not been able to see them from the cell. I descended them forcing my breath to stay even and my hands not to shake. I reached the wide corridor with the holding cells. I could only see long rows of bars. She would be in the last one. The most secure one. Where I had been.

Where Rose had been.

I kept my pace steady as I approached the last cell on the left. I already knew how the cell would look like. It was only the occupant that made this visit different from the others.

She was slumped in a heap on the narrow bed. Her back was towards me, her side pressing into the wall. She had her knees drawn up to her and hugged them to her body. It was very similar to the position I had often assumed, trying to blend out the harsh reality of the bars and the unfriendly faces on the other side.

She did not turn at my approach. Either she had not heard me, or she was ignoring me. I was wondering whether she could tell my steps and Christian's apart. I hoped so. I hoped this was not how she was greeting him.

"Tasha," I called her, softly.

She lifted her head at the sound of my voice. Apparently, she really had not heard me. Then she slowly turned around, as if she half believed she had imagined someone calling her name.

I don't know what I had expected. I think I had simply never wasted a second wondering how Tasha might feel being locked up here. In my mind, she had become this monster that went around killing people and that had nothing in common with my old friend anymore. I hadn't expected her to still be so _herself_. This was still Tasha. This was still the person I had known for forever, that I had trusted, laughed with, spend Christmas with. I had even seriously considered becoming her guardian to get away from Rose. Was it this that made these visits so hard for Christian? That this person behind the bars was still the same person that had raised him and loved him and cared for him all his life?

"Dimitri," she whispered. Her eyes were wide. She was staring at me as if she couldn't believe her eyes.

"Dimitri", she said, again. Ever so slowly, she unfolded her legs and made a few tentative steps until she stood directly in front of me. Only a foot of space and those insurmountable prison bars separated us.

She didn't look well. It wasn't only body that showed signs of deteriorating health. It was her eyes. Here it was, finally, the change that I had been looking for. Out of these eyes, it was no longer the strong fighter for her and others' rights that looked back at me. This was a broken woman.

She didn't say anything else. She just kept her eyes trained on me with an unsettling intensity.

"I don't really know why I came here," I told her honestly.

It was as if a switch had been turned within her. Suddenly, she came to life.

"Dimitri," she said again, more urgently, more forcefully. "I didn't want Rose to die. Please… I didn't ! Anything else… I did kill Tatiana… but I did not want to frame Rose! Please… believe me…"

Her voice faded into a whisper as she took in the revulsion that these words caused in me. I had to force myself not to take off running and never look at her again.

"You coward," I hissed.

"Dimitri. Please! It's true!" Her tone was more than pleading. It was desperate. There were tears in her eyes that she didn't even try to hold back. I involuntarily took a step back.

"Please," she cried again, more and more frantic. "It's the only thing I need you to believe. I didn't want to hurt Rose! She had nothing to do with it!"

"You shot her!"

"I panicked! I didn't want to do it!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I turned on my heels and practically ran out of the cell hallway. When I reached the door on top of the stairs, I had to wipe my hands before turning the metal knob. I was followed not only by the gaze of all of the guardians lining the walls, but also Tasha's desperate wails still pleading for me to believe her.

No wonder Christian looked shaken when got out of here. It was a wonder the boy hadn't cracked up yet.

...

I wandered around Court aimlessly, keeping a façade of neutral guardian professionalism, but still raging on the inside. Walking calmed me. I came to the conclusion that if I wanted answers, I would be better advised to seek them at a different address.

Christian was a little taken aback to find me knocking at his door. Especially when I greeted him with a blunt "I need to know something."

He caught himself quickly though. He invited me in and then plopped down on the bed, leaving the only chair in the room empty for me. I didn't take it; I wasn't ready to sit. His room was small. Apparently, he hadn't tried to get one of the luxury apartments normally reserved for visiting royal Moroi.

"I talked to Tasha."

He lifted his head up at me, sizing me up with a look. He didn't answer.

"What does she mean, she didn't want to hurt Rose?"

I knew I should probably deal a little more gently with him on this topic, but I wasn't handling this very well myself. Christian looked away. He gave his hands a really long glare, while I stood there fighting down the storm that raged within me. Then he started to speak.

"Before… when she wasn't … when she hadn't been in there for so long… she used to be a little more coherent."

Although he spoke haltingly, his voice was admiringly calm.

"She… She seems to think…" He broke off. I didn't push him. It was the least I could do.

"Well, she claims that her setup was supposed to be too stupid to be believable. She says that she wanted to make it obvious that someone _wanted_ to frame Rose, but at the same time she wanted to make it obvious that Rose wasn't the culprit. She says the way she framed it… no one should have believed that Rose could have been so stupid."

I was stunned. This sounded right. The setup _had_ been way too blatant. It _had_ been obvious to everyone who had a brain in their heads that Rose would never have been so stupid.

"Seems like she overestimated those blockheads in Council," I managed to say.

"Yes…," he whispered. He blinked a few times. "And then she goes on about how she panicked when she gave those shots. She hadn't aimed at anyone in particular."

He hadn't looked at me once since I mentioned Tasha's name. I didn't know what more to say. His aunt had turned murderer. That was no better than his parents turning Strigoi.

I hesitated. I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. "Can you forgive her?" I finally asked.

"I'd like to," he answered. He tore his glance away from his hands to look out of the window instead. "I don't know if I can, though."

Again, silence unfolded between the two of us.

"Are you okay?" I asked him eventually. "She seems pretty -"

"Unraveled?" Christian helped out with a bitter smile. He met my eyes at last. Abruptly, he got up and walked to the window, the small size of the room constricting his movements almost painfully.

"Yes…"

"I'll handle it," he said firmly.

Well. I had tortured him long enough now. Slowly, I made for the door. On an impulse, I turned around on the doorstep.

"You know, if you…" I blurted. But I stopped myself short. "Never mind."

He had understood all the same. He gave me a lopsided grin.

"Thanks," he said.


	7. Prodigious News

**Dearest readers! Thank you for even getting this far along in the story :) **

**I would love some more reviews from you! Are people in character? Are you all still hating Tasha? Do you prefer Dimitri's or Lissa's chapters? Nothing belongs to me and everything belongs to Richelle Mead, but still tell me what you think! :-)**

LISSA

I loved my psychology class. I was already thinking about majoring in psychology. I know I should probably take more classes in political science, business studies and such. But there was just so much more I wanted to know! I was already spending the rest of my life learning about ruling and governing.

"So people make the wrong choice when they are told they can flip two cards." Rose was not impressed. "So what. It sounds logical. I'd do it the same way."

"That's the point, Rose. It seems logical, but it's not. We would do better to turn the other card. Because the one we turn gives us useless information."

Those cards were called the Wason selection task and they were amazing. You see four cards; you may turn two. One card shows an even number, one an odd. One shows a vowel, one a consonant. Your task is to find out whether the claim is true_: If a card shows an even number, then a vowel is printed on the other side. _People do it wrong: they turn the even number, and then they turn the vowel. But the task doesn't say that if a card shows a vowel, then the other side has to show an even number. Turning the card is absolutely useless. Only turning the consonant and discovering an even number on the opposite side would prove the claim wrong. Deductive reasoning. Amazing, isn't it?

There must be a hundred correspondent instances for Court politics. It seems locigal, but it's not. You only look for information that supports your case, and fail to see what refutes it. I could learn so much here. I had started to warm up with college, now that classes were past the introductory bit. I had picked the right classes. They were hard work, but they were fascinating, too.

I wished Rose would get a little more out of college. Right now, she was happily nursing a plate piled high with fries. We were sitting in the college cafeteria, something we were doing more and more often since neither of us had the slightest desire to cook.

"I don't like the professor's take on people," Rose said through a mouthful of fries. "Like that there are mistakes hardwired into our brains that we can barely stop ourselves from making. It sucks."

"But the fact that he points out these mistakes only makes it possible for us to try to not make them," I argued.

"He can't just predict what mistakes I'm going to make. I'm making my own," Rose insisted.

My response was interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. I hoped for Christian, but it was Hans' name on the display. Rose looked up as I announced his name. It wasn't unusual for Hans to call me, but it did usually concern something important.

"Guardian Croft," I greetet him.

"Your majesty."

"It's Lissa," I said, out of a habit.

"There has been an occurrence," Hans said cryptically. "I need to talk to you in a more secure way. It concerns sensitive information better not mentioned on this phone."

"What?" The guy couldn't just let me hang on an announcement like this! "What happened? Was someone hurt?"

"None of the people close to you were hurt lastingly, your majesty, I can assure you. But you really will either have to come to Court or use the secure line."

"We'll get to the secure line immediately. I'll call you back in twenty minutes."

I hung up and raised my head to see Rose in full guardian mode ready to take on the enemy.

"There's no direct threat, Rose. I think… I think it's something about Palm Springs," I added in a super-secretive whisper. "We have to get home so I can call Hans back on the secure line."

The guardians had installed this special line directly to our apartment. It could not be bugged or anything. We didn't use it often. Most of our conversation didn't contain information sensitive enough to warrant the safe line. But any information concerning the group in Palm Springs would be top-secret. After all, there was no point in sending them to a remote location to hide when we would be broadcasting their location by talking about it on a wiretapped phone.

Rose and I neatly put our trays on the tray slide, as did the other two guardians who posed as students using the cafeteria. We made our way straight for the exit, while Rose contacted the driver of the car that was waiting around the corner from wherever I was at any time. We rounded the corner to reach a less populated area, where we met up with the car. We were home in less than the twenty minutes I'd promised Hans. He answered the phone at the first ring.

"Your majesty. It concerns the group in Palm Springs," Hans picked up right where he had left. I appreciated his no-nonsense way in matters like this. "There has been a Strigoi attack."

"In Palm Springs?" I exclaimed. "But we selected the area specifically for the low Strigoi theat! How could that happen? What did happen at all? Was anybody hurt?" Hans had only assured me that no one _close to me_ was hurt.

"There has been one casualty. Lee Donahue. The son of the Moroi the group visits for his feeder. According to Guardian Castile's information, Donahue junior called the two Strigoi. Apparently, he has been Strigoi, but has been turned back. Now he wanted to be turned back to Strigoi again. He tried turning by draining a person of blood on several occasions. It didn't work. Hence calling the Strigoi: his last option. The whole thing took place in Lord Ivashkov's apartment. Lee Donahue died from blood loss. Even his last resort didn't work. Lord Ivashkov and the Alchemist Sage were in the apartment at the time of the Strigois'coming. Guardian Castile arrived in time to take them out."

There had been another saved Ex-Strigoi. Someone else had healed a Strigoi! He had wanted to turn _back_! Adrian and Sydney had been attacked by Strigoi! Lee Donahue was dead… The son of the host we had sent Jill to had been Strigoi! Why hadn't we known?

"Your majesty?"

I became aware that I had been silent for a long time. I also became aware of Rose, practically hopping on the spot beside me suffering agonies from not knowing what was going on.

"Yes… wait a second," I told Hans, and cued Rose in as quickly as Hans had me.

"Why didn't we know of this guy's past?" she fumed immediately. I was wondering about that, too, but I had a different question.

"Hans, what do you mean he drained several people of blood and didn't turn Strigoi? What happened?"

It could not be. You kill someone by drinking all their blood, you turn Strigoi. Simple as that.

Hans hesitated. "Well, nothing happened. That is just one of the puzzles of this affair. It appears that Donahue killed on several occasions, humans, Moroi and dhampirs. We don't know the precise number of his killings yet. But nothing whatsoever happened. When the Strigoi drained Lee, the same thing happened: nothing. He was dead and stayed dead."

I couldn't even comprehend the full extent of this new right now. Instead, I was focusing on more concrete questions.

"Adrian and Sydney – they are alright? Jill and Eddie?"

"Lord Ivashkov and Miss Sage sustained minor injuries. They were both taken blood from. Castile arrived just in time. He's fine, and so is the Princess. She wasn't even at the scene."

"What does this mean for the Palm Springs situation?" I asked.

"We still consider the risk there to be minimal. The current threat has been dealt with even before we knew about it and it remains contained. I would like to add some extra guardian protection around the Princess, just to be sure. Guardian Castile has proven that he is one of the best, but it doesn't feel good not having a guardian right there with the Princess. We need a female guardian for her."

Rose would be off as soon as she heard this, I knew. She felt responsible for Jill. It had been her who had dragged her into this mess after all, though it was necessary for my quorum.

"We will be off to Court right away. We need to sort this out," I decided. We hung up. Then I turned to Rose.

"So... There'll be some changes…"

...

Rose was pacing the room. The room being Hans' personal office, all she managed to do was about two strides before she had to turn. And Hans' office was crowded. Not only were there shelves of folders and boxes in questionable state of disarray that bore the danger of breaking open and spilling floods of papers on the floor when you were imprudent enough to brush them, but the office's load limit was definitely exceeded with eight people in it. We had called Dimitri and Christian to inform them of our early coming, and of course they had dragged along. Which, in Dimitri's case, was necessary anyway. Then I had called Sonya, who had showed up with Mikhail in tow, both of whom were now squeezed into the narrow space between a high shelf and the exit, in immediate danger of being struck by falling volumes of guardian archive books. Then there was Hans, of course, Rose and me, and a sour faced Alchemist for whom the enclosed space and consequent crowding in by vampires would probably trigger a panic attack within five minutes.

I made a mental note to write "guardian working and living accommodations" on my long, long list of things so bring into Council debates.

"We can't just take anyone. There may me hundreds of young girl novices out there who are up to the job, but even if we tested them thoroughly, how would we eliminate the possibility of hostile third party influence?"

She whirled around.

"Liss, I'm so sorry. It has to be me!"

"Rose," Dimitri said.

"Your majesty, Guardian Hathaway is right. There is no one else we can entrust with this job," Hans said with an expression of biting into a lemon.

"Sir," Dimitri said.

"I can arrange for her to be accepted into the school by Monday in two weeks' time," the stiff-faced Alchemist said.

"Liss, I'm so sorry," Rose was taking me by the shoulders. Poor Rose. She looked so torn. I knew she wanted to stay with me, to protect me, but she wanted to be there for Jill to.

"It's okay, Rose," I said. "Maybe now's the time to listen to what Dimitri is trying to say."

Everyone turned to Dimitri expectantly. He returned our looks calmly.

"We do know someone suitable for this position, Rose."

Rose frowned at him questioningly. She had stopped her pacing.

"Someone very young. Good fighting skills, if a little rough around the edges. Can become quite protective. And most importantly, she has grown up in an exceptionally remote area, thus bearing no grudge against any political powers and making her an unlikely target of manipulation."

The penny had finally dropped for Rose. Her face lit up with comprehension, but immediately clouded again with skepticism. I was as clueless as before.

"Think about it, Rose. She's so much more credible to be a sophomore than you. And she has potential. You saw it yourself."

Rose still didn't look convinced.

"Dimitri… I don't know … don't you think she is a little… well… _volatile_ to be on such an important mission?"

Christian broke out into a loud guffaw at this. "Rose, you're calling someone _too volatile_? This is you talking, right?"

I silenced him with a frown.

"Spill it, Rose. Who is this person?" I asked.

Rose sighed. "Her name is Angeline Dawes. She grew up with the Keepers."

"Keepers?" Hans repeated.

"Vampires who do not want to mix with society," the Alchemist came forward. "We assist them in their reclusive lifestyle, for their goals are in line with ours."

"Vampires. Specify," Hans demanded.

"Moroi, dhampirs, some humans… they all live together." Dimitri explained.

"And you recommend this girl?" Hans questioned with a slightly incredulous tone.

Rose and Dimitri shared look. They must have had some kind of silent communication going on, because the next thing was both of them saying "Yes" at the same time.

"I will need more information. Age, family, history, exact living conditions." Hans was in action mode already. "Belikov, Hathaway – you'll give me all you know about this girl and the group. I will not allow this until after we did some extensive research on this."

"The Alchemists have detailed records of the history and personal data of these people. We will provide you with them shortly," the Alchemist woman said tightly. I had to hand it to her: she was keeping her calm admiringly.

"Good," Hans said. "Can we disperse?"

"Not yet," I said, quickly. "There is another matter I want to discuss."

All eyes were on me now. I turned around to where Sonya was crammed in the background.

"It's why I asked you to come, Sonya. And it concerns you too, Dimitri."

I shot Rose an apologetic look, even though she didn't know what I was on about yet. I had formed this plan in the car on the way back, and it had not been ready for discussion yet.

"Lee Donahue could not be turned Strigoi again. He tried multiple ways, but there was no way back for him."

I took a deep breath.

"That could mean that you, Sonya and Dimitri, also have some kind of protection. That you cannot be turned Strigoi again."

"It could," Sonya said in a small voice.

They hadn't had the time to think about this yet. I had been the first to get the news, and since I hadn't been able to tell them on the phone, they had only just learned what had happened. They probably hadn't figured this out yet.

But there was more that I needed to say.

"This is huge. This is groundbreaking news. It's an opportunity we cannot pass by. We need to know more about this", I continued. "We need this to be researched. We need to find out what makes you two special, if indeed you have the same protection that Lee Donahue had. This is why-" Now came the hard part – "I would like you two to join Adrian in Palm Springs. I want you to form a Spirit research team."

* * *

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	8. What Does That Make Me?

DIMITRI

A Spirit research team. Lissa was sending me to Palm Springs.

Or course, she was right to investigate in this matter. And evidently Sonya and I were key figures when it came to former Strigoi research. Who else was there as a test subject? This was important. I approved of Lissa's decision, and I understood that she hadn't been able to run this by me before announcing it practically publically. Still, as I walked to my room in guardian housing side by side with Rose, I found myself resenting that it had to be Palm Springs of all places that I would have to go. It was so far away. Missing Rose during the week was bearable, but being away for months at a time? That was a different matter.

Rose seemed to be thinking along the same lines. She was uncharacteristically silent and snuggled her body as close to mine as she could while still being able to walk. It was the middle of the night on a Court schedule. Rose and Lissa had already finished their Thursday classes when Hans reached them. It was bright daylight outside, and Court was deserted. We could afford this open display of affection.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I broke the silence. "I have to do this."

"I know," she said unhappily. "I would have left too, if they had let me. But you had to have this brilliant idea of sending Angeline instead of me. We could at least have gone together!"

"Rose. You know that I would have loved nothing better than to have you with me, wherever I go. But we cannot disregard our duty."

"And Angeline is a better fit for an undercover high school setting than I am. Damn it, Dimitri!"

"It's not only that. Your position with Lissa is important. You're not as easily replaceable in her protection as you are in Jill's."

"I know, Dimitri. I know. It still sucks."

"Yes," I agreed, "Is does suck."

Rose chuckled.

"What?"

"It sounds funny when you say it!"

"What, it sucks?"

"You are such a language paragon, Dimitri. Colloquial words sound scandalous out of your mouth," she teased.

"Oh, really? Then I know some really scandalous words that I'd like to say to you tonight…"

"Why, Dimitri! Even this beautifully understated insinuation makes me want to call for censorship!"

I stopped her right in the middle of the central cross-Court walkway and silenced her with a kiss. Her arms went up and around my neck. She leaned into me, the length of her body fitting perfectly onto mine, the two of us intertwined like two trees growing into each other. Kissing Rose was a bonfire to the soul, even after the thousandth time. She was fierceness and tenderness all rolled into one. She could assault me with her most heated desire, and still touch me with hands so soft that every brush of her skin felt like the comforting waft of a desert wind.

I let myself dissolve into the feel of her warm lips on mine and the enclosure of her embrace. I wished we were already in the privacy of my room; breaking this kiss to make it there seemed like an impossible feat right now.

...

We did make it there, and it was worth it. Impending separation makes for some pretty intense emotions that find all kinds of ways to express themselves. We had taken turns rekindling the flame each time we had come to a rest in each other's arms; there was always some thought, some memory, that made Rose lock her eyes into mine and whisper my name; or that made me pull her face close to me so as to still the need to feel her lips on mine. The vampiric night had been drawing to a close when we started. Now we were lying side by side on my bed, letting the last hours of light pass us by in our own world of both bliss and aching.

"Does it have to be now of all times?" Rose said, out of the blue.

"When would be a better time to leave you?"

"You just started your classes with the Moroi. They'll miss you!"

"They will find someone else. A lot of guardians are interested, now that we have approval."

"Well, there's something else."

The tone of her voice told me that it was something important. I rolled over to face her, lying on her back with her glorious hair fanning out over her pillow. It flowed around her as she turned her head towards me.

"I'm sorry I have to mention it. Tasha's hearing. It's the weekend after this."

She watched me with attentive eyes as I took this in.

"Will you be going?" she asked, finally.

"Will I still be here by that time?" I responded with a question.

"Lissa wouldn't make you leave before that if you wanted to go," she said. She was remarkably composed, considering we were talking about the woman who shot her.

"I think I'll need to go," I said. I had been giving this some thought since my visit with her. "It would be wrong not to. I'm involved in this. We're involved in this."

"I guess you're right," she said contemplatively. "It's just that I have the feeling that this isn't very high on Lissa's agenda right now. She has so many important things on her plate, I'm not sure she remembers that it's coming up. There's not much she can do about it, anyway, the sentence is as good as made."

"You don't seem to be too troubled by this, Rose," I dared ask. "After all she did to you…?"

"It's over now. It's in the past. She will get what she deserves. It wouldn't do me any good to chew on it forever and be angry at her. She committed a crime. She made me suffer. But ultimately, it is her who will take the punch."

She smiled a thoughtful little smile which gradually turned saucy.

"And comrade," she added, "I really like my life right now."

She was over it. She was already over it. My Roza. She was so strong. People tried to kill her, framed her for murder and put her behind prison bars, and she brushed it off and walked steadily on on her way to glory. She was so strong. So incredibly strong.

"You're bothered, though, aren't you?" She asked cautiously. "She used to be your friend. How is it for you?"

"It is harder than I thought," I admitted. "I tried not to think about her. I thought I could just sever all ties and be done with it. But somewhere, there is still my old friend in the picture."

"Oh. Is there?" Rose squinted, angry suddenly. "Do you really think so?"

Sighing, I sat up and leaned against the bed's head board. I should have known better. Rose might be hiding her darker feelings from herself, but there were still lingering resentments against Tasha within her. And truth be told, how could there not?

"You know I do not condone what she did," I said. "But I used to like her. And I have to come to terms with the fact that I used to hold a person in very high regard who turned out to be capable of murder. I once deeply liked and trusted her, and this is what she became. I used to agree with her. I used to share her views, even admire her strength and courage. What she did resulted from qualities that I respected. I don't know how to explain…"

"You think that what she did reflects back on you?"

"Not openly, it doesn't. But in my mind, yes. Not on a very tangible level. But is does."

"The decisions she made were something you could never have anticipated," Rose said, frowning. "She _was_ strong and courageous. But ultimately, she chose the wrong path. There is nothing that could have made you judge her any better."

"It's not that I blame myself, not for this. It's just this feeling… it's as if she wronged me by not being who I thought she was. But I had so much faith in her." It was hard to make her understand. I did not understand myself why the fate of this monstrous person still touched me so much. "You don't have to agree with me, Rose. Maybe I'm wrong."

"I don't," Rose said quietly. "I think you're too good to her, Dimitri."

"Maybe."

"I'll be there, too. At the hearing,"

"Rose, you don't need to go there for me. Please, don't do this to yourself for my sake. I can handle it."

"I know." Rose pulled me back down to her. "But I think, with your help, I can handle it, too."


	9. A Free Day

LISSA

The comfortable warm, soft pillow was being extracted from under my head. I did not like this. I needed this pillow for sleeping. Something about the movements of the pillow suggested that it wasn't a pillow at all, but actually Christian's arm. Well, I happened to need that for sleeping, too, at the moment, because the real pillow underneath it was shaped in all the wrong ways. My waking mind was not happy when it realized that Christian was getting out of bed. Christian had no business leaving this bed right now.

"What are you doing?" I croaked sleepily. My eyes refused to open properly. But they did tell me from a reluctant glance at the back-lit display of the alarm clock next to the bed that we had slept for a mere three hours.

I felt his lips on mine briefly, and a soft caress ruffled my hair as I heard his low voice say: "I have to go to training. Keep sleeping, I'll be back when it's time for you to wake up."

"But it's too early," I protested in a mumble.

"I have to pass by my room. I didn't take my training stuff with me", he said.

The stupid room. Christian could live in Palace housing with me, of course, and he did during the weekends when I was there. He still kept his own room for the weeknights that I spent at college, because he claimed that 'not all the queen's horses and all the queen's men' could make him stay anyway near big accumulations of royals without me.

"Skip it," I mumbled. I had gotten hold of some part of him.

"I'm supposed to set an example, there, Liss. I can't miss."

He was kissing me again, and that was really unfair because I might have thought of some other argument, but as his kiss went on and my body reminded me that it was still snuggled into bed and that it was really comfy even without the added bonus of Christian's arm, that all left my mind.

...

When I woke up again, he was back by my side, fully clothed and with his post-training shower smell, but sound asleep. The alarm clock said midnight; I had wasted half a day sleeping. Shifting closer to Christian while trying not to wake him, I decided that I had earned this one sleep-in. It had been a late night, and since I hadn't anticipated being at Court today, I had no meetings scheduled for today. I felt the sudden desire to start purring when the realization hit in: I had a free day! I had my first free day since I had been elected queen!

Then my thoughts started to go back to last night – or day on a human schedule. I wistfully wished I could push the thoughts of Strigoi attacks on Adrian and Sydney and possible protection against Strigoi back into the corners of my mind for another five minutes and just relish this stolen moment for a while. But I couldn't. I felt a pang of conscience for what I did to Rose and Dimitri by sending him away. And to Sonya and Mikhail, too. I would have been dying to do the research myself, but finding time for me to do it would be hopeless. And I think that there should be a spirit user who had not been Strigoi, or there was the risk that Sonya would miss something due to the very fact that she had been one. Maybe being Strigoi had changed her use of spirit.

My psychology professor would be proud of me for this line of thinking.

I stretched languorously and considered waking Christian up. Just as I had made up my mind not to – he hadn't gotten as much sleep as I had, after all – he gave a small start and jerked awake with a little gasp. I jumped slightly, startled as I watched him sit up groggily and get his bearings.

"Hey Liss. Sorry, did I wake you up again?" he said with a sleep-heavy voice, though he couldn't have been back in bed for much more than an hour.

"No, I was awake already." I sat up, too, and shifted closer to face him.

He rubbed his eyes vigorously.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked.

His eyes appeared, blinking and red-rimmed, behind his hands.

"I'm okay."

He slipped out from under the covers and drowsily got to his feet, making his way to the bathroom. I sighed and drew the covers closer around my body. When he returned – I had heard no flushing – I pulled him into my arms, trying to chase away the last remnants of his dream.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked him, finding a comfortable spot on his shoulder for my head. "I have nothing whatsoever scheduled for today. I'm all yours!"

"Let's see," he said. He was relaxing in my embrace again. "How about we stay right here and do exactly what we're doing right now?"

"Sounds good," I sighed. I loved just lying in bed with him, slinging my arms around his body and enjoying his warmth. This was all I needed from him sometimes. I wasn't a particularly physical kind of person, and neither was Christian, apparently, for he never complained about a night without heavy action. It wasn't like we didn't enjoy our nightly activities when they did happen; it's just that we found other ways of enjoying each other's presence just as rewarding. I knew Rose and Dimitri beat us by far in this aspect of relationships, but I didn't mind in the least. If this was what we needed, this was what we would get ourselves.

My stomach rumbled. Maybe there was something else that I needed to get myself. I had to run off halfway through my lunch yesterday, and hadn't eaten since.

"Hungry?" Christian chuckled.

"Noo," I groaned into his shoulder. "It can wait."

As if conniving with my stomach to thwart my attempt to have a lie-in with Christian on my one and only free day for forever, my phone rang, showing Rose's name on the display.

I groaned even louder, knowing that there was no ignoring Rose. She would stand in the middle of my room within seconds if I did not answer that call.

"Rose!" I greeted her accusingly. She laughed at my mood.

"Morning, sleepyhead! You two guys still in the sheets?" she chimed.

"Still, for me, and again, for Christian," I said. Dimitri must have skipped training, which he could do because the Moroi did most of their mornings' running and weightlifting on their own, as I'd heard. He would have had some training of a different sort, I guessed.

"Dimitri and I are starving," Rose said. "Do you want to join us to eat out?"

I had to deliberate this longer than the average person would need to decide whether they wanted to eat out for lunch. I often had my meals sent to me to wherever I happened to be working or holding meetings. Going out to eat meant a bath in the crowd for me. And sitting at a restaurant table with a bunch of guardians hovering over me. I was popular with the majority of Moroi living at Court, so there were not rotten tomatoes flying at me, but of course people looked at me and some wanted to talk to me. Being among people at Court wasn't as carefree as it used to be for me anymore.

On the other hand, I had won this election by being the nice girl, popular and approachable. I shouldn't shut myself off into the palace and behave in contradiction to the very trait that people had liked me for. Showing myself in public would be good for my relation to the non-royal Moroi Court population, which was the majority, after all. So I checked back with Christian, and arranged for Rose and Dimitri to pick us up in half an hour.

I quickly dressed in my usual college clothes and put on only minimal make-up. I didn't dress up for a normal Court day either, only for the occasional meeting that called for a dress to impress. I was doing my hair when there was a discreet knock on the door and Rose poked her head in.

"You guys decent? Can we come in?"

"Sure, come on in", I said.

Christian lounged in a comfy chair waiting for me to get ready. Rose strode over to my little living room area and plopped down on a sofa next to him. Dimitri entered somewhat stiffly, gave me a polite nod and moved to stand by the door. He was still finding it difficult to let his guard down in anybody but Rose's presence, I guessed. He wasn't the most social of people, to put it mildly.

"Oh, come on, you're not on duty, Dimitri," Christian reminded him. He gestured to Rose's sofa with a nod of his head.

"Don't get to comfy," I called out to them from the bathroom door. "I'll be ready to go in a minute."

Christian and Rose, familiar with my 'minutes', just raised their eyebrows knowingly, while Dimitri settled down at Rose's side and stretched out his long legs. Rose started questioning Christian about his training, and I took my time picking out a set of earrings to wear. One had to celebrate one's only free day in style, after all.

We went to a casual place that served breakfast all day long. They were quite flustered to have the queen visit their lowly establishment, but my guardians ushered us to a table with good supervision and protection facilities so quickly that they didn't have the time for longwinded welcomes and such. I explained the stunned head waiter that I did not wish any special treatment, but that was a hopeless cause of course, and my blueberry pancakes were streaming deliciously in front of me minutes after we had ordered, with an extra decoration of chocolate dipped strawberries on top. We all dug in, and I tried to ignore the worried stare of the waiter as I relished by breakfast. Rose was so starved that her enraptured raving about her chocolate chip pancakes with a side of doughnuts was our main conversation during the meal.

"It's getting really crowded in here, isn't it?" I suddenly noticed halfway through my plate.

"Does that surprise you, your majesty?" Christian scoffed. "I guess word got around."

"Oh." I should have thought of that. But hey, I was making this restaurant have the business of their lifetime! Maybe I should frequent public eateries more often, boost Court economy a little. On the upside, the waiters were so busy with the unexpected crowd that they didn't have the time to breathe down our necks anymore. On the downside, there were now many more eyes watching me trying to stuff maple syrup-dripping pieces of pancake in my mouth. I sat up a little straighter, but didn't let them bother me otherwise. When I met someone's eyes, I smiled, but they all had the decency not to disturb a queen at her breakfast.

This all changed when we got up to leave. Abruptly, there was an air of commotion in the room. The guardians pushed themselves away from the walls. People's cutlery slowed down or even froze halfway to their lips. I noticed some royals who I would never have expected to frequent a place such as this hurriedly wipe their mouths with a napkin. As we started to weave our way through the tables, there was movement - people started to rise from their chairs. For a brief moment my breath caught, as I remembered people springing from their chairs in panic at the fateful night of Jill's accident. But then, one by one, they dropped to their knees. Those who had reacted slowly at my rising hurriedly followed suit, until the whole patronage of the restaurant and the waiters, some still with trays full of glasses or plates with food in their hands, looked up at me from the floor.

No one had gone down to their knees when we had entered the restaurant. Maybe they had been too much taken by surprise, or maybe it was all those people who had come here specifically to see me who were pitching up the grade of admiration. I had thought the knee thing was only for special occasions, more of a ritual thing that was suitable for a crowning ceremony and the like. I had never expected people to kneel before me on the dusty floor of a dingy breakfast place.

Rose, walking in front of me, did what all my guardians were doing when attention was on me while they were close by: she made herself unobtrusive. I kept my composure, smiling at everyone as I passed them, returned nods or waved at particularly fervent admirers. It was only when we reached the revolving doors and exited that I realized how much my heart rate had picked up.

Rose slowed down once we were outside. I turned to the others and had to resist the impulse to flee into the shelter of Christian's arms; people were still looking at us.

"That was weird," Rose stated.

I couldn't agree more. As we passed the giant fountain that adorned one of the central Court squares, I slid up to Christian and nudged him. He diligently put his arm around my shoulders, but it didn't feel very assuring. When I looked up at him, he stared straight ahead.

Well, I guess free days don't always play out as planned.


	10. Kicking, Fighting, Falling

DIMITRI

The Moroi were warming up, jogging, stretching and practicing some easy moves. There was an almost tangible tension in the air today, which contrasted sharply with the usually casual and friendly feel of our group of twelve – we were growing, and more Moroi had expressed the desire to watch, if not participate in, our training sessions. The larger than usual audience gathered around the practice field did nothing to alleviate the Moroi's nervousness – although the guardians' presence was not what put my students on edge. There was only a single person that had triggered their excitement: the queen was watching.

With her arriving at Court earlier that it was her custom, this was the first time that she was able to attend one of our combat training classes. We did not practice on the weekends, to give the Moroi some much needed time to rest. She had immediately jumped at the opportunity to see Christian and the rest of the Moroi warriors-in-training in action.

I did not let on that anything was different from a normal training day. They did not need to remind me of that. Instead, I instructed them to pair off and go over the new moves we had covered yesterday, as it was my habit to do. I walked from pair to pair and corrected them, ignoring the sidewards glances some were giving Lissa where she sat with Rose on a pile of mats. Interestingly, I also noticed many of her guardians glancing towards the training students with unconcealed curiosity.

Being the hardened guardian I was supposed to be, I mercilessly stuck to the move I had wanted to introduce today: a fairly difficult kick that had the penchant to result in new learners landing on their backside on the ground. The Moroi had little trouble when I had them execute the motion slowly. Some needed to work on their flexibility some more for a kick to reach a point where they could actually do some damage in an opponent, but otherwise, they did well. Then I made them take turns on the punching bags lining one side of the training area. This was when the students started to tighten up. It wasn't easy to land a kick on a punching bag and regain one's balance quickly enough not to stumble. Almost everyone sat on their butt their first time around. Some of my students laughed exaggeratedly. Some got up as quickly as they could after falling down, probably hoping that Lissa hadn't seen. They didn't need to worry on that respect; Lissa was mostly watching Christian. Even he wasn't up to his usual standard – which was fairly decent – though in contrast to the others, he seemed to be distracted by something in his mind rather than by the queen.

I was letting them practice for a while. They needed to get the hang of this before we proceeded with technique. When it was Christian's turn again, he cursed loudly when he found himself on the floor one more time. Then roaring laughter rang over the training field, and his face turned dark. Before I could stop her, Rose had crossed half the field. It had been her laugh, of course.

"It works a lot better when you bend your knee", she called over to us. She planted herself in front of my students, hands on her hips. "They don't tell you because it's such a basic thing to do, but if they did there wouldn't be half as many bruised butt cheeks tomorrow."

Springing into motion from her deceptively relaxed stance, she performed the kick flawlessly. The Moroi whose punching bag she hit recoiled from her swinging leg as if fearing for his life, when I knew she had calculated the distance exactly so she would just let him feel a draft of air. Nonchalantly, she assumed her pose and looked at Christian expectantly.

He gave her an exasperated glare, but concentrated on the bag once more all the same. I saw him direct his attention into his supporting leg – he stopped and slightly bent his knee – then kick out at the bag, and, after some wobbling, regain his balance. He acknowledged Rose with a much more appreciative look.

"Good advice."

He tried again, and stood. The other Moroi picked up on his lead and tried to follow Rose's advice. Falls decreased significantly.

"Maybe you should consider a career in teaching, Rose," Christian teased. I, too, regarded Rose approvingly.

"You could be a great help for them, Rose," I said. "You still remember the difficulties you had when you learned those moves. It's all still more recent for you than for me."

Rose laughed. "Much as I'd love to kick those softies into shape, comrade, I can't make time for your classes, too – sorry, I'm too much in demand!"

"Stay for this class, Rose, and you just might get to see me land on my ass a couple more times," Christian baited her jokingly.

"Oh Christian!" she replied. "You know I cannot resist this temptation!"

"I knew it," he said, and set to attacking the punching bag again.

She had to blame herself for not getting to see any crash landings on Christian's part again during the training. In the end, she had to revert to tackling him bodily in order to see him on the ground, to the great amusement to the students and watchers alike. While the two disentangled their limbs form each other's and picked themselves up from the floor, the rest of us started to file out to the outdoor training field for the magical part of the training.

I joined Lissa and Rose on the sideline, where someone had brought a bench for them to sit on. I didn't get to watch the whole magic training session normally. My schedule had been cleared for the afternoon combat training only, which was two hours a day. Before and after, I usually was on premise patrol shifts. The Moroi put in one or two hours of training in the mornings, for which I joined them as often as my shifts allowed. During the scheduled three hours of magic training I tried to pass by the training field on my patrols whenever I could. Today, however, Lissa had requested for me to be exempted from duty, and I was watching as avidly as she was.

I was familiar with the way they worked from what Christian and Mia had told me. They had no teacher for this; knowledge about offensive Moroi magic had been lost to a great extend over the centuries, so there was no one really who had much more knowledge than Christian and the others.

The group picked one specialization each day to work on. They would gather around the respective users of this kind of magic and counsel them on how they could try to use it, coming up with new ideas in the group that the elemental users would attempt to implement. Today, it was earth's turn.

It was for practice on this element that we had cleared an area next to the training field proper. It soon became apparent to me that that had been a wise decision indeed: when the earth users set to work, there were large chunks of dirt whirling around in the air or piling in heaps on the ground.

So far, there were two earth users in the group. One of them excelled in moving large masses of dirt for short distances, while the other was mainly responsible for all the particles in the air. The group worked on a new way of using earth offensively, finally coming up with the idea of shooting compressed chunks of dirt at an opponent. Soon, they left the two earth users with the task of practicing their aim. They fired away at the surrounding trees, while the rest of the group turned to the air users.

"They're good," Lissa said approvingly.

"Yup, I have to admit: they have the potential to kick some serious butt one day," Rose agreed.

They continued to watch in an awed silence. I was proud of the group. They were fiercely dedicated, and spared no effort to improve their use of magic. It would take them some time to be ready to take on Strigoi, but they had already made some tremendous progress.

Air was more difficult to harness for attacks. The Moroi tried assimilating the earth users' method, blowing dirt off the ground to hit the bodies of an attacker. When these attempts proved to too weak for an actual fight, they had a layer of dirt blowing in a curtain around an imagined target, cutting off their sight with earth matter.

As time wore on, the earth users rejoined the group; they had practiced extensively and were exhausted. The sun was coming up with golden October rays, indicating that they should wrap up practice for today soon. I knew that sometimes, the group was so immersed in their new ideas that they continued training long after the assigned hour was over. The magical training was the most important part for most of them. As Moroi, they would never be as capable in hand to hand combat as a dhampir; Moroi bodies were simply built in a way that limited their physical prowess. If they wanted to survive a Strigoi encounter on their own, they would have to rely on their magic.

Suddenly, Lissa jumped up from her seat. All the surrounding guardians gave a start, looking for the threat.

"Someone's sick," she said, alarmed. I took a closer look at the assembled Moroi. She was right. One of them was stumbling; the others eased him to the ground.

Lissa was already crossing the field to join the group. Rose hurried to her side, while two more guardians tailed her at a greater distance. I followed Lissa and Rose with long strides and reached the group at the same time as they did.

A blond, wiry air user was sitting on the ground, looking pale and dizzy. The others surrounded him, offering him water or letting him lean on them. No one appeared particularly alarmed, not as alarmed as Lissa, anyway.

"What's wrong? Are you all right?" Lissa cried, worriedly. She threw herself to the ground next to him, assessing whether there were any wounds that needed healing.

"What happened?" Rose demanded.

"It's okay, don't worry," a voice said; Christian disengaged from the group and came over to sit with Lissa and his sickly teammate.

"He just needs some blood and rest," he explained calmly. "Sometimes we get carried away and overdo it a little. Happened to all of us. We keep feeders nearby for cases like this." And indeed, Mia just strode back to our group with a feeder in tow. I had not even seen her leave.

They did have experience with this, judging by their off-handed way of dealing with it. This irritated me. I didn't usually check in on them at the end of their training, especially when they did overtime. I did _not_ like to learn that my charge had almost passed out in the middle of the training field without my knowledge.

Neither did Lissa, apparently. She was still holding the hand of the weakened air user, and was only now letting it go so he could turn to his feeder. She rose to her feet and sent a disapproving look around the assembled Moroi.

"You shouldn't exhaust yourselves like this. It could be dangerous."

The group appeared to feel very mildly chided by this; some thought it proper to hang their heads, some just shrugged it off. Most of them seemed to have forgotten that it was the queen standing in their middle and reprimanding them; Lissa had behaved so naturally that she made it easy to treat her eye to eye. She was just a caring person who had seen someone hurt and wanted to help.

"We need to build up our stamina in magic use," Christian shrugged. "This is the only way to do it."

"You _are_ crazy-ass fighters," Rose said. She sounded impressed in spite of herself by the kind of dedication that left people unsteady on their feet.

The blond boy had finished with his feeder. He was being helped to his feet; though he still looked shaky, he was able to stand. Better than the feeder, who was still on the ground, smiling happily at nobody in particular.

"But still, let's get all your crazy asses home, now," Rose went on, eyeing the swaying Moroi and the feeder critically. "I think you've all had enough for a day."

The group helped the blond boy and the feeder off the field. Two went with the Moroi to see him safely home, and the feeder was returned to her residence. The rest of the group dispersed, calling out good-nights to each other. Rose and I accompanied Lissa and Christian – and the other guardians – back to the palace.

"It's really impressive," Lissa said to both Christian and me. "Really. You've done a lot in the short time. You're going to get far, and the Council is going to be impressed as well when you present this to them. But please," she added in an urgent tone, taking Christian's hand. "Please, don't endanger your safety!"

"Seriously," Rose agreed. "Christian. Don't."

"We'd be no use in a fight if we tire out after a few minutes. We need to do build up our endurance," Christian argued.

"How often has this happened to you?" Lissa asked, accusation and worry both laced in her words.

"A few times," Christian admitted. "But we learned to be prepared. And it's only exhaustion! It's not like it's really dangerous!"

"Why didn't I know this happened?" I asked him, trying not to sound too menacing.

"Um… Well, you had usually left by that time…"

"Christian. We're working together on this. Don't keep things from me." I felt Rose's arm pressing down on my shoulder soothingly.

"I'm sorry. We didn't expressly keep it from you, we just didn't want to make a big deal of it. I'm sorry."

I let it go. We dropped them off in front of the palace doors and let the guardians on duty escort them to their rooms. Then we went on to our own place.


	11. How Could I Forget

**Hey guys! Thanks again to everyone who's leaving me reviews! Tell me if you think a chapter is boring, too, please! Constructive criticism makes a good writer. Hopefully. ) **

**This chapter contains a little bit of L&amp;C fluff… again… because I love them. Consider skipping these parts if you don't, but do read the Rose and Lissa bit! :-)**

LISSA

The stack of papers on my desk was becoming intimidating. I had dedicated the previous weekend and this one to lightening fires under those sluggards of the commission I had put in place to evaluate the guardian age decree. They were supposed to go to the academies and actually look at those kids they were sending to death in person, talk with their teachers, go over the revised syllabuses with them and report back to me. All school doctors were supposed to send me an extensive evaluation of their novices' mind and body health, and also put out a recommendation on the appropriate fighting age based on the physical development of a typical teenage dhampir. Also, I had a team researching all incidences of encounters between Strogoi and dhampirs between the ages of sixteen and eighteen. The only people who had handed in their reports on time or earlier were the guardians I had asked to assess the physical conditions and fighting skills of the sixteen and seventeen year old novices.

After a lot of chiding calls, return rates were picking up, and I wasn't going to trust anybody else to make me a summary of those reports. I was going to read every single one of them myself.

The weekend had been exhausting. I was so looking forward to crashing in my bed tonight. Only the drive back to Lehigh and all my Monday classes to survive until then. Rose was helping me gathering all the papers from my office that I wanted to bring.

Suddenly, it came to my mind that I might be keeping Rose from spending her last minutes with Dimitri before he left for Palm Springs.

"Hey, what day will Dimitri be leaving? Have they already booked his and Sonya's flights?" I asked. I had delegated this to guardian headquarters.

"Um… no," Rose said. She looked at me quizzically.

"What is it?"

She hesitated.

"Um, well… Dimitri didn't want to leave until after the next weekend."

I frowned. "So he can see you once more?" I had not thought that Dimitri would postpone an important mission just so he could spend some more time with Rose, much as they loved each other.

"No, Liss…" She was beating around the bush. What was up?

"What?" I asked, sounding more impatient than I meant to.

"Next Saturday. Did you forget?"

I searched my mind, but with the new Palm Springs disaster and my obsession with finally making some progress on the dhampir decree, I hadn't given much thought to the next Court weekend yet.

"Lissa," Rose said helplessly. "It's Tasha's hearing."

I stared, dumbfounded. Tasha's hearing! How could I have forgotten that it was coming up? Next weekend? I wasn't prepared! I hadn't reviewed the investigation reports on her, and hadn't even asked Christian what he thought was the best…

I stopped in my mental tracks. Christian! When was the last time I had asked him about Tasha? When was the last time that I had even remembered that he still had this ordeal to deal with? I had completely neglected him!

"It's okay, Lissa" Rose said soothingly. "Everyone knows that you have enough on your plate right now. It simply got lost."

"It's not okay," I groaned. "Christian!"

I dumped the papers back on the desk, not caring that they flew away in every possible direction, and stormed out of my office. I was halfway down the hall from my apartment when Rose caught up with me. Some of the guardians who had been waiting in front of my door hurried to take their body guard positions around me.

I didn't even know where he was right now. I always told him my schedule, and he met me in between appointments. When I was working in my office, he often joined me and read dhampir novice school material on Strigoi or a newspaper or did something else. I had just briefed the age decree committee on the work I wanted them to do until next week, and before, I had had a lengthy sit-in with two Moroi university historians on the origin of the quorum law. Christian was supposed to meet me in front of the palace, where the guardians would wait with the cars, shortly before we would leave. I took out my phone to call him and ask him where he was, but I put it away again unused. What's the point in calling someone to comfort them, when you can't take them into your arms? Right now, I just wanted to be with him in person.

I stood outside the palace entrance, which was about the size of a church portal, and pondered where to look for him. I hadn't come to any resolve, really, but my feet carried me in the direction of the Court security jail all the same. It would be just it if he was going there right now. When the building came into view, I turned to my tails.

"Rose, everyone – stay back a ways, please," I told them firmly. Rose looked at me unhappily, and the rest of my guardians shared indecisive glances, so I decided not to wait for their assent and confidently strode to the security building's entrance. I was relieved to hear no footsteps behind me; there was no arguing with a guardian who feared for the safety of their charge, and I couldn't talk to Christian with the whole bunch of them trailing behind me.

I rushed straight up to the guardian on duty behind the glass wall that served as a reception. His eyes widened, but as he needed to operate the communication system, there was no kneeling a bowing or anything silly that he could do.

"Did Lord Ozera come here today?" I asked. "Christian Ozera?"

"Um…" The guardian seemed unsure of whether this was information he was allowed to give me, or whether there was any kind of information that could be rated classified for me. Apparently, he came to the conclusion that there wasn't.

"Yes. He's in the holding block right now."

Damn it.

I didn't get any further in my self-accusation, because at exactly this moment, Christian himself strode through the heavy metal doors that led into a small chamber adjacent to the glass-walled room.

He frowned when he saw me. We couldn't speak yet, because the glass was pretty sound-proof. I watched as he stood there for a moment, then a guardian came through the same door and handed him a few small things. I recognized his phone and other personal belongings that he usually carried on his person. Then the guardian gave the receptionist a hand signal, and the door between us opened as if by itself.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asked immediately.

"Come on out," I told him, tentatively taking is hand. "I chased away my guardians, let's make use of the privacy while we have it."

They were still watching from a distance, I knew, but no one intruded directly. Rose must be keeping them in check. I pulled Christian around a corner, trying to find someplace without anybody's prying eyes, and finally settled for a secluded corner behind the building next to the jail. My guardians would be going crazy. They wouldn't give us more than fifteen minutes before they would come to retrieve me.

Christian had followed me a little dazedly. Now he shot me a questioning look.

"I completely forgot Tasha's hearing was next week!" I blurted. "Christian, I'm so sorry! It completely slipped my mind!"

"Yeah," he said tiredly.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I gently pulled him to me, unsure whether he would allow me to embrace him. He didn't resist. But after a moment, he pulled away and slid down the building's wall to sit on the grass. I sat down next to him.

"I didn't even ask you about her. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he said automatically.

"No, baby, it's not. I should have been there for you so much more."

"You have other things to do," he said.

"But not more important things."

I couldn't resist the urge to sling my arms around him again; he looked so lost. He took hold of my arm, and rested his head on my chest. I let my cheek brush the top of his head, buried in his ruffled black hair.

Christian had been my rock for such a long time now. Ever since Queen Tatiana was murdered, he had been there for me, steadfastly and unerringly. He had weathered all my bouts of spirit darkness and all my queenly frenzy with me and never complained. Now it was time for me be there for him.

I had a lot to make up to him.

"How often do you see her?" I asked, his hair tickling my nose.

"More often now," he mumbled into my neck. "Almost every day. I need to prepare her."

"Prepare her?"

"She's a mess. I don't want her to have to face public attention like this. I'm trying to make her get a little composure back."

"Can I do anything?"

"You're doing it." He raised his head up to look at me. "There's nothing you can do, you know that, right?" he asked. "You'll have to preside over her hearing and trial, but you don't need to do or say anything."

Right. I would have to preside. I hadn't thought about that, either.

"I could try to-"

"No! You cannot try to do anything! She doesn't deserve a defense from you, Lissa. Lawyers will deal with this. You just sit through it," he said vehemently.

"But-"

"No, please, Lissa. She's done enough already. I'm not going to let you have to decide over someone's life or death because of her. The monarch is not required to take part in law court processes, I double-checked it. So don't. No matter what you'll do, you can't make it right. You can't seriously plead for the life of a person who admitted to heinously murdering the former queen. Not even I can. All you'll get is a bad conscience. So don't. Please. Please don't."

"This is so frustrating!" I almost shouted. "I hate that she did that to you!"

"I just hope this doesn't drag on forever," Christian said wearily. "Even though I know it will end in her death. She won't be able to take this much longer."

"Yes. But when … um… Well, when it was Rose in that cell, they said that it could take a year for the trail to start."

"I hope it won't take that long." He sighed. "Don't worry about me, though, Liss. I'm okay. It was harder the first few times I visited her. It sounds cruel, but I'm adjusting to it. It's not getting to me as much as it used to."

"Really? Or are you just saying that to make me stop worrying?"

He pecked me lightly on the cheek. "Really."

I leaned my head on his. "It's so nice to have a private moment outside for a change," I said. The only times we were alone together was in the confines of our bedroom.

"Yeah. You should chase away your guardians more often."

"I can't! It will give them ulcers. I can't be responsible for that." I was only half joking.

"Speaking of guardians…" Christian righted himself with a sigh.

I heard footsteps nearing us. The guardians were waiting no longer.

"Your majesty." Carl, my youngest guardian next to Rose, poked his head around the corner. "We are supposed to depart for Lehigh in ten minutes' time."

"I know. We're coming." I told him. Regretfully, we got up, slightly wet on our backsides from the grass, and followed Carl to rejoin with the other guardians.

We continued talking on the way to the cars. I made him promise to call me when he needed me, and squeezed him really tightly before I got into the car. He was smiling again when we left, but then again, he had always been smiling for me, no matter how he felt.

...

The week went by in a blur. I had every document the committee had collected on Tasha sent to me and read them, which told me nothing new. I called Christian several times every day, but I hardly ever reached him, and when he called me back, I was sitting in class and could only silently look at the display of my muted phone spelling out his name.

Despite his reassurances, I still worried that I was leaving Christian alone when he needed me. He had seemed to cope so well that I had shed those worries over the last months. Now I felt like I was failing him miserably; I had not even realized he was going through this struggle!

Friday came with a dreadful sinking feeling in my stomach from the moment I woke up. I didn't know how to endure my classes today.

Rose groaned as a response to the alarm clock. That was usually the first noise I got to hear from her every morning. Today she was not the only one who just wanted to hide under her blanket.

"Let's skip classes today," I said by way of a good morning.

"What?" came her groggy response. "Lissa? Is that you talking? Or was it my own voice making my inner wants come to the surface?"

"I don't want to go to Court," I said, petulantly.

"Ugh. Court."

"But we can't even skip classes because we already missed last Friday."

"There you go! That's my Lissa again."

Rose's disheveled head showed by now. It would only be a matter of some doughnuts to make her look like a person again. Luckily we still had some in the kitchen, unless the guardians on night duty had eaten them all. Honestly, how those guys put away all the food that went through our kitchen on a daily basis was a mystery to me.

I got out of bed and padded to the kitchenette. In passing, I told Carl and Serena a good morning, who had just started another shift and were lounging around the living area. Luckily, there were still some doughnuts left, and someone had even made coffee for all of this morning's occupants of the apartment. I returned to bed with my spoils and shared the yield with Rose.

"I'm so glad when this weekend is over," I sighed.

"Yeah, me too. I guess no one is looking forwards to this thing," she agreed.

Ultimately, there was no avoiding it. I spent the day going over all the information on Tasha again, we made it through Friday classes, and passed the drive to Court in a tense silence that we took turns trying to break, but never succeeded. Rose dropped me off at the door to my apartment, and I was pleased to find Christian waiting up for me. He looked weary. Maybe it had been the fire users' turn to use their powers in training tonight.

We got ready for bed quickly, because Christian was about ready to drop. He put his arm around me so I had my favorite pillow back. As I listened to his even breathing, I hoped this wouldn't turn out to be a sleepless night for me. But my worries were unfounded, and, comfortably snuggled into Christian's side, I drifted off soon after that.

...

The courtroom was crowded. Everyone wanted to see the infamous Natasha Ozera brought to her knees. It was much like I remembered from Rose's hearing; only today, I wasn't sitting in the crowd, but in the throne-like chair in the center of the dais behind the judge's chair, facing the crowd. The Council members were sitting to my left and right. Rose had squeezed behind my chair on the right-hand side, and another guardian had taken the other. Down the length of the room stood a phalanx of guardians, many of whom had been added for extra security. The walls looked crammed – the guardians stood in a tidy row, shoulder pressing to shoulder. You couldn't have squeezed so much as a piece of paper in between.

Christian was sitting in one of the front rows. He had gone to see Tasha shortly before the hearing started and must have slipped in just seconds before the judge, and then I and the royal Moroi Council filed in and took our seats. The room was hushed, though a layer of whispers floated through the audience and permeated the air with agitation.

The judge opened the hearing with the usual dignified but bland formal words:

"Under the witness of her Royal Majesty, Queen Vasilisa, and the royal Council of the Moroi, I hereby declare the hearing concerning the murder of her late Royal Majesty, Queen Tatiana the Second, to be opened. The subject of investigation is one Natasha Ozera. May the subject be brought in."

A door to the right of the room opened. In came two guardians, who led Tasha in handcuffs in between them. They almost had to support her. Apparently, they had not let her feed for days prior to the hearing; she looked half starved. Revolting as I might find such treatment, I had to understand the reasoning of the guardians. Tasha was an adept fire user. When in possession of her full powers, she could wreak havoc in a crowded space like this.

Tasha kept her eyes straight ahead as they led her to the small railed-in area for the accused. I heard Rose take a deep breath behind me. And the hearing began.

* * *

**Don't forget those reviews! :-)**


	12. Things To Do Before I Leave

DIMITRI

"Please state you name and date of birth," the judge demanded.

Tasha followed his command in a controlled voice.

Clearly, she was still nowhere near to what she used to be in terms of strength and charisma. But in comparison to my visit with her in Prison, Tasha had found some of her old dignity again. My first reaction at that was to think: _Good, now I can hate her_.

I found that I still couldn't, though. I found it hard to connect the atrocities she had committed with the person I had known half my life.

I forced myself to look away from her. Instead, my eyes sought out Rose, standing tall behind Lissa's grand chair.

Tasha sat still as a statue as the preliminaries of the process ran their course. The charges against her were read; she did not even look up. The evidence against her was presented; she did no flinch. It was only when it was her turn to speak that her marble exterior showed cracks. She drew a shuddering breath and said in a small, but controlled voice:

"I admit to all charges against me. I admit to killing the former queen Tatiana by driving a stake through her heart. The stake belonged to Rose Hathaway. I am guilty on all charges."

No chaos ensued as a reaction to this; the few voices that were still whispering even grew quieter. It was as if the whole room was waiting for more. As if everyone was expecting Tasha to violently defend herself against all accusation made against her. As if they wanted a fight, waiting eagerly for the passion to erupt, all hell to break loose. But Tasha had reverted to silence, her hands folded in her lap and her eyes cast down.

I found myself waiting with all the others for more. What about not wanting to frame Rose? What about wanting not to hurt her? What about that?

I found Christian in the crowd and saw the same confused look on his face that I tried not to show on mine. He had not expected to hear what Tasha has said either; though what he had expected, I did not know.

"We need you to be a little more precise, Miss Ozera," the judge said. "Please answer yes or no to my questions."

Tasha nodded.

"Did you, on the night of the fifth of July, enter the former queen Tatiana's private chambers in her residence, the palace, with the intention of killing her?"

"Yes."

"Did you meet the queen in her chambers, on her own?"

"Yes."

"Did you then proceed to drive a stake through her heart, thus ending her life?"

"Yes."

"Was said stake the stake that belonged to Rose Hathaway?"

"Yes."

"Did you plan the proceedings of the night of the fifth of July in advance, fully intending to clandestinely enter the queen's chambers and take her life?"

"Yes."

"Did you intend to make it seem like Guardian Rose Hathaway was the culprit for the murder committed by you?"

"Yes."

This did not come as quick as the other affirmations. Tasha had hesitated. Christian was perched at the edge of his chair; he shook his head, incredulously.

"Can you state your reasons for committing the murder you hereby described to us?"

"I did not want Tatiana to remain queen any longer. The decisions she made and condoned in her reign were not to the good of the Moroi and dhampir races. Something needed to be done to allow a better queen to ascend the throne. Only her death could end her reign. She would never have released the throne voluntarily. Someone had to do the dirty work," Tasha droned in a monotonous voice, like a prepared speech.

"Can you state your reasons for framing Guardian Rose Hathaway for the murder committed by you?"

"I wanted to live," Tasha said in a barely audible whisper.

"Can you state your reasons for picking Guardian Rose Hathaway as the alleged culprit according to your framing?"

"No."

A murmur went through the room.

"Miss Ozera, you already admitted to all charges laid against you. I must remind you that you are obliged to speak the truth and withhold nothing in this hearing."

Tasha closed her eyes for a brief moment. Then the words blubbered out of her.

"I asked a former dhampir friend of mine to become my guardian. He refused, because he loved Rose and did not want to leave her. I was jealous of her. This is why I framed her."

Either Tasha was an exceptionally good actress, or what she was saying was complete bullshit. In any case, she sounded utterly implausible.

"Please state the name of this dhampir friend."

"Dimitri Belikov."

This caused a tremor to go through the audience. The assassin of the queen, who had been known to have cases of voluntary Strigoi turning in her family, had been in league with the man who had returned from being Strigoi.

"You are aware that any lies you might tell in this hearing might further aggravate your situation, Miss Ozera, aren't you?" The judge reminded her impatiently.

"Aggravate my situation?" Tasha repeated, in a voice suddenly gaining strength. "Please enlighten me: how is that possible?"

"I will not allow this tone in my-"

"You're going to sentence me to death and kill me. Don't think I'm so dumb as to ignore this. You're going to kill me, so just kill me already!" Tasha shouted vehemently.

"Miss Ozera, I'm going to have to - "

"I know what I've done! I confessed everything! What more …"

Tasha checked herself; the judge had given a sign to two of the guardians stationed beside the dais. They started to make their way to the accused stand to enforce order in the courtroom, when the judge waved them back, seeing that Tasha was complying under the threat.

"Just be done with it," Tasha added more quietly, in a tired voice.

"Your hearing and trial will run their course. There is no expediting these things," the judge said irritatedly.

Tasha tensed at this. She stared at the judge and opened her mouth so speak, but this time, it was the judge who overruled her.

"I hereby declare this hearing to be complete. We have heard the case and the evidence, and the accused has had the opportunity to speak. I release the witnesses from the royal Council from the session. Please wait to exit until the accused has been led away."

It was then that Tasha got her voice back.

"No wait! I need to-"

Guardian hands clamped on her arms, hard. She struggled.

"No! I need to say something…!"

The way to the security exit was too short for the assembled audience to hear what Tasha had to say. She was dragged away, still shouting, but not making much sense. The tension rose as the audience waited for the members of Council and the Queen to get up and file out of the room through a door opposite the one Tasha had left through. Rose exited with them, staying close to Lissa not only to protect her, I guessed, but also to give her comfort. As soon as the doors had closed behind them, the spectators broke into turmoil. Everyone got up to leave, raising their voices over the ensuing ruckus to discuss the hearing. People passed by us, treating the standing guardians much like the wall, some almost brushing against us. We stayed, waiting for the room to empty before we would leave our positions.

The crowd washed through the large double doors out into the square. One by one, the guardians pushed themselves off the walls, following the flow of people to regulate the exit, or just relaxing as their shift ended with the hearing. I stayed at my spot, surveying the empty benches that had just been vacated. I felt as empty as them.

...

I craved for Rose's company after this. I went to my room by myself, knowing that she wouldn't be able to free herself anytime soon. She and Lissa would be sitting in meeting with Council right now, discussing the outcome of the hearing. It was pretty clear from the hearing what the outcome of the trial would be; the only questions were when the trial would take place and when they would carry out the execution. It wouldn't take long, but I knew Rose would stay with Lissa even after that.

I sat down with a book but gave up on it after ten minutes. I needed my body to be busy; it usually distracted my mind. So I took out a small suitcase and packed the few things I would need for my stay in Palm Springs. There wasn't much to pack. I folded some pants and sweaters, regardless of Palm Springs' much warmer temperatures. I didn't let something as inconsequential as the weather influence my way of clothing.

The suitcase was packed within twenty minutes. I still had so much time to kill. I left my room, wandered around Court a little, and landed at the apartment complex that coupled dhampirs were housed in. I made my way to the third building, a five story house with a once yellow paint job that had long since faded to a muddy gray, and pushed the bell next to a little plaque reading 'Tanner and Karp'.

"Yes?" came a cheerful voice over the intercom.

"Hi. It's Dimitri. I… was around," I said lamely.

"Come on up," Sonya replied.

I ascended the stairs to the fourth landing, where Mikhail and Sonya awaited me arm in arm in an open door.

"You picked just the right time," Sonya greeted me, giving me a warm smile. I ducked through the low doorway and entered their combined living and dining room, to discover a multitude of small cake boxes and half-eaten slices of cake on plates on the dining table.

"Wedding cake sampling?" I asked.

"We couldn't lay our hands off the raspberry cream," Sonya said. "Now we're so full we can't try anything else – we could really do with your opinion, Dimitri!"

I complied willingly. I had as much of a sweet tooth as Rose, but in contrast to her, I usually made an effort to eat healthily. In my current mood, I was very much disposed to make an exception today.

"All packed and ready to go for tomorrow?" Sonya asked between chocolate fudge and banana walnut cake.

"Yes," I replied wistfully.

"I'm glad you're coming, Dimitri," she told me earnestly. "If we can make a contribution with this research, we need to do whatever is in our powers to counter the Strigoi threat."

"Yes," I said, again.

"I'm going to miss you," Mikhail said to Sonya. They were sitting in adjacent chairs, holding hands under the table like a high school couple. They had been through so much until they could finally be together. I understood their clinging.

"It's not only for all our safety's sake that I hope you'll make a fast breakthrough in this research," he added.

"We have a wedding to look forwards to, sweetheart," Sonya told him lovingly. "And who knows, maybe our request is approved even before the wedding date arrives!"

"You requested for Mikhail to be your guardian?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "It would be ideal. I could go back to teaching again, and he would automatically get a guardian job at the school."

"They usually grant such requests only for married couples. We're hoping they might speed it up a little, seeing as we're already engaged and the queen offered to sponsor our wedding."

"She did? That's nice of her."

"It is, isn't it?" Sonya smiled. "She's such a nice person. We can be proud that we have her as our queen now."

_Something needed to be done to allow a better queen to ascend the throne. _

Tasha had done our dirty work, indeed.

...

Rose was very keen to be the driver on our trip to the airport. After years of not being able to drive a car due to the danger of her suddenly being pulled into Lissa's head, she was avid to be behind the wheel at last. This was why Sonya and Mikhail had taken the backseats in their own car, not minding in the least. On the contrary, the backseat gave them some privacy for their goodbyes. They talked in low voices, too quiet for Rose and me to hear. In the front of the car, we had our own hushed conversation.

"How do you think Adrian will react to me being there?" I asked Rose.

She sighed. "He'll be pissed."

"Will I have to be prepared for a physical attack?"

"No, he's not crazy. Or, well… he's not crazy enough to attempt _that_." She hesitated. "I hope he's better than when he left. I really do."

"I hope so, too," I said. I had been really sorry to witness the young man's downfall to self-pity and alcohol. I had formed a better impression of him when he helped us break Rose out of jail with his spirit powers.

"Say hi to Sydney from me," Rose said, perking up. She chuckled. "I know it's mean, but I would so like to see her getting all cozy with Jill. She'll be the toughest Alchemist in the world when it comes to standing Moroi presence."

I had to smile at this. Getting to know Sydney a little better would be interesting.

"I'm going to miss you so much!" Rose kept coming back to this. "How do we deserve to be ripped apart again after all we've been through?"

"We didn't. And we aren't."

I looked at her.

"Mere physical separation cannot tear us apart, Rose. Not even me becoming a member of another species could. Not even me denying my love to you could. Not even your heart stopping could."

"That's not what I mean, Dimitri. I now nothing can keep us apart forever. But I want you _here_. I want you right beside me!"

"Consider it a training for you self-control."

"Ugh, Dimitri! I go all lovey-dovey and teary-eyed on you, and you make it a Zen lesson. Really?"

"Well, it's true, there is something to be gained from everything."

"Okay. Now can you become the deeply but covertly emotional, caring part of yourself again?"

"Every part of me cares about you, Rose."

"Yay, it's back!"

"'Deeply but covertly emotional?' Are you trying to be a poet?"

"No, I'm trying to make you use dirty words again."

"'It sucks' does not count as a dirty word!"

"Right, dirty by Dimitri-standards."

"If you use me as a standard, of course there will be words that are dirty by my standard. It's the standard that dictates what words I say, so there is nothing special about me saying any kind of words."

"Wait. Is this you trying to use Rose-logic? No. Absolutely no. I can see right through you. No Rose-logic against Dimitri-standards."

"Oh dear. You make our parting words a riddle."

"You're overcompensating! 'Oh dear' is something an eighty year old lady with hand-knitted pink sweaters would say. Ha! It's the dirty words trying to get through your mouth!"

"Brilliant, Rose. You should try your hands at psychoanalysis."

"No thanks. I've had my share of shrinks. Did you know that Lissa makes me go to psychology classes? Honestly, those people! They all need to go count the cups in their cupboards."

"I'm finding psychology really quite fascinating, for my part," Sonya quipped from the back. I hadn't realized it, but our conversation had become fairly loud.

"I'm sorry, I'm biased," Rose countered. "They made me go therapy sessions because I saw a ghost. I mean just because I saw a ghost? Isn't it a little prejudiced to assume that everyone with ghost vision has an insanity problem?"

"Actually, yes, as a general rule, seeing ghosts is quite a good indication for mental trouble. But as for so many things, Rose, you're the exception," I said. I heard Sonya and Mikhail chuckle in the back.

"Much as I'd like to listen to your banter, Dimitri, I have to remind you to keep your mind on the road. I think you just missed the exit to the airport," Sonya informed me.

"Oh, crap," I muttered.

"YES!" Rose shouted.

...

The airport was busy, and we still had to walk through security and find our gate with our flight scheduled to depart in thirty-five minutes. Sonya and Mikhail were standing a few feet apart from us, so close together their heads touched. Rose and I alternated between kissing, hugging, and whispering comforting words to each other. We were doing everything in turn, getting breathless from our desperate kissing and needing a quiet embrace, which turned into me assuring her that I would do my best to come back soon, or her saying that she was sure I wouldn't have to stay long because research was surely not my thing. Then one would silence the other with a kiss, and the whole thing started over again. Rose would have gone one and take the calculated risk of letting me make a dash for the plane, but I didn't want to embarrass Sonya by having to break us apart. I pressed her close to me for one last time, then stepped to where Sonya was waiting.

"Have a pleasant flight," Mikhail said.

"Don't scare the flight attendants," Rose advised.

"We will," Sonya said.

"We won't," I said.

"That was only directly at you, Sonya isn't really the scariest of people," Rose specified helpfully.

"I'll soothe them, don't worry." Sonya smiled.

"Well then," I said. "We should be off."

"Yes," Sonya agreed. "Goodbye! See you soon!"

"See you soon," Mikhail, Rose and I echoed.

Then Sonya and I turned around and walked through the crowd to cross the security lines.

* * *

**Aaaand this will be the last you hear of Tasha for a while, because she is one hell of an annoying person to write about. I still have danger, heartbreak, death for her in the future (and I'm really looking forwards to this), but there are a lot of chapters to cover before she is going to show up again, because I have decided to be mean to her and leave her hanging for the maximum time until her trial! **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	13. Attack - Heal

**Yay, this chapter actually has some action in it! ;-) **

LISSA

"I swear, he could be a comedian. The way he's trying to be inconspicuous… He could as well carry a newspaper with holes in it. It's hilarious!"

Rose was referring to Carl, my guardian. He was leaning on a tree, one foot propped against the stem, looking into the air. Just now, he had whistled a merry little tune. Rose wasn't so far off in her assessment. My guardians might be the best there were when it came to combat skills, but I guessed everyone had their little flaws.

I had gotten used to my guardian detail. I had become friendly with most, only two or three stayed a little aloof, probably out of some sense of professional conduct. It was easy to socialize with them because the majority of them was young enough to be halfway credible in a college setting. None but Rose was under the age of twenty-three, though. For the most part, they just looked young or could have been a late-starter in college. Experience and proven prowess had taken precedence in cover credibility in their choosing.

Serena was a few steps ahead of us, front guarding. She had been made my head guardian, with direct command of my other twenty-three guardians. After all, she had proven that she would do anything for me; she had very nearly died.

"Let's have an ice-cream!" Rose exclaimed. She had seen the little mobile ice-cream station with the vendor standing behind it.

"Come on, Liss, it might be the last nice day out! Let's celebrate it!"

It was a sunny day indeed. I had only been under the sun for the five minutes it took to cross campus from the business studies building, but I was already feeling its effect. I would have preferred to seek the shade as soon as possible.

"Just go and get one, Rose," I said.

She did, and we sat down on a bench in the shadow of a large acorn. Carl was leaning against another tree now, doing random stuff on his phone but still keeping a close watch on his surroundings. Serena had settled on a small patch of lawn nearby and was taking out papers and a book. She was a pro at looking the part of a college student. To the left and right of us, guardians joined us on adjacent benches.

I watched as the size of Rose's ice cream cone diminished in size rapidly.

"I could warm up to college life. There was no ice cream on campus at Saint Vlad's," she said happily.

"See? Even you find something positive here. Even if it's ice cream."

"And the gym. And rooming with you. And the cafeteria fries. See, I like lots of things!"

Three minutes later, Rose was already licking the last remnants of her ice cream from her fingers.

"Yummy. Done. Let's go!

We crossed the lush green lawn in the direction of the bus station. In order to not make a show of our car and the driver that went with it, we mostly took the bus. I already stood out from the other freshmen, what with me living off campus and never going out with anyone.

"I think I'll stay outside for a while," Rose said dreamily, raising her face towards the sun. "Maybe I'll catch Dimitri on the phone." Dimitri was on a human schedule, too.

To cover the usual pang of conscience I felt when I thought of them being apart on my orders, I said: "Sure, take your time. If you don't reach him, maybe stay home for one of the classes tomorrow. Maybe mornings are a better time to reach him?"

"Don't fret, Lissa. I'm going to reach him some time. And don't beat yourself up because we can't hold hands through all of our daily little hassles. We will get over that."

I was sure that that she didn't exactly feel as cheerful as all that inside.

We passed the wide lawn in the center of campus and reached the busier area housing the language department and the cafeteria. Two guardians – Mitch and Rick their names were – were following us a few steps behind, pretending to be deep in conversation. Serena and another guardian were in front of us.

"I'm going to get some homework done tonight, I think," I said, more to myself.

"Sure, knock yourself out. It's not like you have all day tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, but I have Court work to do tomorrow. I want to get as much of the important stuff off my desk as I can in the next few weeks. I don't know if you've noticed, but this is college, and there are exams coming-"

A flash of light reflecting from something in the hand of a passer-by was all I noticed at first. A fraction of a second later, his facial expression, fierce, almost snarling, contorted. Then Rose was already flying at him, gripping his arm and twisting it up in the air. The glint of the sun on the small blade grew stronger as it was lifted high in the air, the man not relinquishing its hold on it. Then, a shadow engulfed me; I was thrown to the ground by a weight pressing down on me, enclosing me; there was something familiar; it was Serena. Someone else was shielding Serena; no; they were falling down on her. I had lost sight of Rose. Someone screamed. I heard the sound of something heavy dropping to the floor, once, twice. Three times. Or was that four? People shouted. Then more people screamed.

Serena gripped my shoulders. She had unfolded from her protective curl around me –was the danger over?

"Your Majesty, are you hurt?" she said urgently. I shook my head. Where was Rose?

There were people lying around me, slumped to the ground, just dark heaps of limbs and clothing. Many, five at least. In a wide circle around us, the screamers stood; they were frozen, not yet daring to come closer, the screams signs of hitting realization. Amongst the figures on the ground, guardians were still standing, some were running, though for what I did not know. Someone was lying right in front of me, Serena's body still blocking my view partly. She crouched by my side, ready so shield me again should danger come back, waiting for the all clear before she let me go. While the confused and panicked shouts and screams of the onlookers increased, I unfolded from the fetal position I had assumed under the tent of Serena's body, so I could look around her shoulder.

Carl. It was Carl. His eyes were closed and his hands still wrapped around the bag he had been carrying, now lying face-up where he had fallen. His casual, beige striped shirt was no longer the light color it used to be just a minute ago; now it had turned a bright crimson from his own blood that was streaming from wounds I could not see. My breath caught, only a moment; then I was scrambling forward on my hands and knees, pushing past Serena, reaching out a hand for Carl just as I recognized Rose in the figure rising to my right. Carl was still breathing. I felt the magic surge up within me immediately; it was almost effortless that I reached for it, willing it to mend the broken body lying at my feet. The magic came, filling me with that wonderful sweetness and blessed lightheartedness, flowing from my hands to him.

The magic told me when it was done; there was no need to check, to feel a pulse, to wait for the stirring of a limb, the fluttering of an eyelid. I rose with a purpose, my next target in view, dropping down beside it. It was Denis, who sometimes cooked dinner for us when he had late shift. He had not been fortunate enough to be knocked unconscious, as Carl had; he was writhing in pain from a wound dead center of his stomach. The magic came, willingly, joyful to fulfill its miraculous purpose. The next, a graze wound to the head; I was thankful that my magic knew where to flow, for blood and flesh were starting to blend into each other, wounds and eyes and hands and faces whirling into a kaleidoscope of color that had no beginning and no end. The magic flowed and flowed and flowed, looking for an outlet, exulted at the freedom of being allowed to heal, having been denied for so long. It wanted more, it wanted out. It wanted to heal the whole world, it would do anything, if only it would never be shut off into the corner of the mind of the person that was called Lissa, who neglected it, shunned it, shoved it away like a plush toy that had been outgrown.

I didn't want to stop, I didn't want those hands that were shaking me, gripping me tightly and holding me upright, and I didn't want to hear the voice that was calling me, calling Lissa and telling her to stop, not to heal, to stop, stop. It's only a shot to the leg, Lissa, he will survive, Lissa. Stop it, Lissa.

"Stop it! Lissa, stop it! It's alright, he will make it, he's not that badly hurt. Lissa. Lissa! Listen to me! Lissa! Stop healing! Stop it, Lissa!"

"No, no! Let me go," my voice said.

"Snap out of it. He'll be alright. Come on now, Lissa. Come on. That's it, now. Come on. It's alright. It's okay."

Rose's voice was soothing me, now. I realized her face was inches from mine. I also realized how worried she looked.

"Rose," I said flatly.

"It's okay, Liss, it's okay. Come, come with me."

She was trying to lead me away. Her arm was around my shoulder, gently pushing me in a direction to go. But I could not move my feet; I could not move anything, do anything. Rose's face dissolved into blackness with tiny dancing stars permeating it. There was no noise anymore, only velvety silence, taking me in and folding itself around me. Hands gripped my shoulders, still trying to command a direction to go, but I would only sink into the blackness and silence, the world no longer a matter to me.

...

I found the world again by noticing a gentle, steady rocking motion. It was nice; I should let my eyes stay closed and let it rock me back to sleep. There was still Rose's voice somewhere in the background. That was good. There was no danger where there was Rose.

...

Then I was in my bed. The soft covers were luring me back to sleep even more that the rocking motion. I was comfortable. And tired. Really, really tired. What time was it? Did I have to get up soon? There would be work waiting for me when I got up. Better stay in bed.

Then panic shot through me like an electric shock as I remembered that this was not the first time I had woken up in my bed today.

I was wide awake in an instant. Struggling to sit up, I shoved off the covers of my bed and propped myself up on my elbows, only to discover that that was all I could do for now. My head swam; I felt dizzy from only raising my head. I blinked.

"Don't strain yourself, Liss. You must be exhausted."

This was Rose's voice. I turned my head and found her sitting right next to me on a desk chair she had rolled close to my bed.

"Rose," I groaned. "What happened? Where is everyone? Are they alright?"

"Everyone's going to be fine," she said calmly. "You healed most of the potentially fatal injuries. There's nothing you have to worry about now."

"But they are still injured?"

"Yes, some are. They are in hospital right now, where they're taken care of. You did what you could, Liss. You saved the lives of three people today."

"Who? Who's saved? Who's injured?"

I let myself fall back onto my pillow. Then I realized something.

"Wait," I said. "You said I healed almost all of the potentially fatal injuries? Is someone still in danger?"

Her hesitation was a clear confirmation of my fears.

"You healed Carl, Denis, and Chad. Mitch and Serena were treated for minor injuries. Rick is still in surgery. Serena is keeping us updated on him."

No. Someone could die protecting me. Again. I had known that this was a guardian's job for all my life. But when it actually happened, there was nothing, no preparation, that could ease the horrible hollow feeling that expanded in my stomach at the news of a death.

"But what happened?" I asked, unable to keep the desperate tone out of my voice. "I didn't see anything! There was this guy with the knife, and suddenly people started falling all around me! What was that?"

"They were shot at with a silenced weapon," Rose said. "They were hiding somewhere, ambushing us. We assume that the guy with the knife was only meant to distract the near guard from you, so that they would have a clear shot. They didn't take the speed of the rest of the guardians into account. They were on you in an instant, no bullet could have gotten through to you. We captured the knife guy, but the shots escaped. They probably just pocketed their guns and mingled with the crowd."

Rose was containing her agitation very well. She seemed calm on the surface, but I knew that if she would let her emotions flow right now, she would be raging and storming and chasing after the people who dared aim a gun at me.

"They were humans, weren't they?" I asked, pensively. "We would have noticed a Moroi or dhampir walking around on campus."

"Yes," Rose confirmed. "The knife guy is a human, and the rest of them must have been, too. We would never have let an unknown Moroi or dhampir get close to you on campus. It would have raised our suspicions immediately. A human though – lots of them around. They could have been checking out campus for weeks without any of us noticing."

There was a soft knock on the door. It opened slowly to reveal Carl, looking pale and shaken, with my human feeder in two.

"We heard your voices," Carl said, in an unusually timid voice. "I thought the queen would probably need a feeder when she wakes up."

The feeder was looking at me expectantly. She was fairly young woman by the name of Amanda living on her own in an apartment next to mine. Because I was the only one who fed on her, she wasn't as out of it as most regular feeders were. She even regarded me with something like interest in her eyes. I wasn't normally lying in my bed in the middle of the (human) day when she was brought to me.

"That was good thinking, Carl," Rose told the man warmly. "Thank you."

He nodded and, with another oddly timid glance at me, left the room, and the feeder with us.

"Come on, get yourself a little midnight snack," the feeder woman said, cheerily. She knew about our different schedule and that being up this late into the day was out of habit for me. Also, she was getting more and more perky with every feeding visit. She had come from Court with us, and the stay with us was like a withdrawal treatment for her. It had miffed her to no end in the beginning, even though she had given her consent to coming with us.

She sat down on the bed beside me, and I was suddenly becoming aware of how ravenous I was for her blood. Rose had to help me sit up, and even then, I had to wait for a second until the stars dancing in front of my eyes faded enough for me to see where I was biting. I drank my fill, and contentedly leaned back from her when I was finished.

Rose led her back out of the room, where I guessed Carl took care of her and brought her back to her rooms. I shuffled to lean against the wall, strong enough to sit now, but not feeling up to getting out of bed just now.

"How is Rick doing? What was the last you knew of him?" I asked Rose as soon as she came back.

"He took a hit close to the neck. They have to sew his arteries back together or something… by the time they had him in a Moroi hospital, he had lost so much blood." Rose said, pain her eyes.

"They say they're not sure if he's going to make it."

I drew my knees up to my body and buried my head in them. But I only allowed myself a minute of refuge from the world; I had forfeited my right for weakness when I had become the queen.

"I have to thank Carl and the others," I said. "They would all have died for me…" I started to get out of bed. Rose moved to stop me, when there was another knock on the door.

"Yes," Rose called, and the door opened.

"Christian!" I cried. He seemed confused and anxious, but he hesitated only a moment at the door to take us both in, then he was over by the bed and had me clinging on his neck as if I was holding on to dear life.

He didn't say anything directly, maybe because I was cutting off his windpipe with my embrace. Then he softly asked: "What happened?"

I loosened my hold on him momentarily to take a closer look at him. He seemed scared; I wondered how much he knew about the attack. But I let Rose do the talking and returned to suffocating my boyfriend with a hug.

"There was an attack on Lissa," Rose explained. I tried not to listen to closely as she went into detail and filled Christian in on the happenings on campus. My grip on him relaxed as my strength weaned, and I sagged into an increasingly boneless heap until he was everything that kept me up. He was rubbing soothing circles on my back while Rose talked, not interrupting her once. With my head buried in his chest, I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

"How did you know to come?" I mumbled from the depth of his arms, when Rose had subsided into silence.

"Rose called me," he said.

"I only reached his mailbox, but I guess that did the trick, anyway," Rose said. She was giving him a grateful smile. Apparently, I was a common interest that could get those two in league.

"Yes, and you gave me the shock of my life," Christian called. "She just told me to come immediately, because something had happened and you needed me," he explained to me. "I had no idea _what_ had happened, I just up and left right there and then. You could have been dying or whatever."

"I'm sorry," Rose said, really sounding the part. "I couldn't talk about the attack on the phone. It wasn't supposed to leak."

"I'm glad you're here," I piped up from my little nest. Then a thought made me reemerge from it. "Wait – Dimitri isn't here. Did you come all the way here by yourself?"

I almost shrieked. Before he could even open his mouth, I continued shrieking: "You shouldn't have done that! It's dangerous! You could have-"

"Lissa," he cut me off. "It's broad daylight. There was absolutely no danger."

"I was attacked by humans today!" For some reason, I couldn't lay off the shrieking voice. I was becoming louder and louder. "There's no safety in daylight anymore! You shouldn't have come! You could have been attacked, too!"

"You're overreacting!" Christian said firmly. He was taking me by the shoulders and tried to make me look him in the eyes. When I took another breath in preparation of another shrieking tirade, he put his hands on both sides of my face and gently forced me to look at him.

"Listen to me, Liss. I was safe. I'm not a target. You don't need to worry about me."

I felt the churning anguish that had taken hold of me seep out as if I had suddenly turned into a broken sieve. The shrieking fit subsided as if there had never been a reason for it in the first place. There never had, I realized. This was spirit darkness only just starting on its course to wreak havoc on my soul. With all the magic I had used, healing all these wounds, it had to come back with a vengeance.

So this was why Rose had called Christian, I realized. With our bond gone, she was no longer sure she could deal with me on her own when I turned stark raving crazy.

Christian's ice blue eyes were still locked into mine. I looked away. I slumped down again to hide in his arms, shutting the world out again.

...

This was the way we spent most of the day, or for us, the night: Christian sitting on my bed with his back against the wall, me leaning into him, seeking shelter in his arms and forcing my eyes to stay open as we waited for news from the hospital. Rose was huddled on her own bed across the room from us, rocking back and forth slightly, checking her phone or getting up to talk to Carl and the other healed or uninjured guardians in the living room. News of Rick's death reached us at around eight o'clock at night. I hadn't spoken a word for hours when Rose got the call; I didn't speak afterwards. I just buried myself deeper into Christian's arms and the blanket, and let sleep finally wash away the harsh reality of waking life.


	14. Warm Weather, Cold Welcome

DIMITRI

_The weather does not dictate my choice of clothing_, I told myself sternly. I was having an increasingly hard time adhering to my credo as sweat poured in rivulets down my face at ten o'clock in the morning. It just so happened that my usual choice of clothing included a heavy leather duster that had not originally been intended for wear under the searing California sun. But this was just the weather. I was above such things.

My resolve didn't diminish the layer of sweat continuously coating my body as I walked the short distance between where I had parked the car and Adrian's apartment. I had circled the block several times, trying to find a spot as close to Adrian's as possible. I wanted to spare Sonya from the torching sun as much as I could, knowing that the effect it would have on her made my complaints seem squeamish in comparison.

We arrived at Adrian's door right on time for our meeting scheduled at ten. Sonya knocked on the door. We waited. She knocked again, louder this time. When there was no audible reaction from within the apartment, she shot me an apologetic smile, as if it was her fault that we were standing in front of Adrian's apartment, right on time for our appointment with him to start our research, and he was not answering.

"He's probably still asleep," she said. I hoped he was just that. If he was passed out drunk in there, it would not only make it a lot harder to get him to let us in, it would also seriously impede our research. He would not be able to access his magic when intoxicated, thus rendering him completely useless for spirit research.

Just as I drew a breath to suggest we return to Clarence's and start our work there, there was a hustle from inside, and a muffled clanging sound. Then footsteps made their way to the door, and it opened to reveal Adrian standing in the opening, leaning against the doorpost with tousled hair and an exceptionally rumpled shirt.

"Adrian," Sonya managed to greet him in a patient and friendly tone. I bit back a comment. I had indirectly caused him enough hurt, even though my love for Rose and hers for me was not something I would ever find it appropriate make excuses for. There was no need to add to the damage already done.

"Welcome to the palace," Adrian slurred in a still drowsy voice. Even half asleep, there was a mocking tone to his words.

"I'm glad we can get started so quickly," Sonya said, trying to ease the tension that had sprung up immediately upon Adrian laying eyes on me. "I can't wait to get this going. We need to make progress as soon as possible."

"No doubt there," Adrian mumbled, not specifying which part of Sonya's statement he meant. He left the door open for us to come in, while he turned around and shuffled off towards the kitchen. He didn't try to conceal the telltale sound of glasses tinkling.

When he returned – empty handed - he found us still standing in the entrance, watching him.

"Well, make yourself at home. I figured that since you have no idea how to actually do your research, you can do without me just fine. I'm finding my brilliance a little wasted fumbling around in the dark of cluelessness."

With that, he disappeared back into his room. He did not bang his door behind him; but that was about as far as adult behavior would go with him.

Sonya sighed. "Well, I guess, we're here now – let's… well, let's just get started."

Without further invitation, we sat down at the dark wooden table that dominated the back half of the apartment's combined living and dining room.

"How do we start?" I asked. I automatically referred to Sonya as the head of our little research group; she seemed to be the most capable in the ways of spirit use and mental stability alike.

"Well…" She hesitated briefly, then raised her voice a little so that Adrian would hear her from his room.

"I thought we should start by mapping out all the possible routes we can take with spirit use. For example, we could compare auras and see whether there is anything different in our auras and in others. Also, Adrian could use his dream walking powers and compare the feel of your mind with-"

She cut herself short. This was probably on account of the alarm that showed in my face at the thought of Adrian and me in a spirit dream by ourselves. I quickly checked myself, putting the composed expression on my face that I had perfected for occasions of sudden emotion rising up in me.

"Maybe we should stick to the aura examination idea for a start," Sonya corrected herself quickly. "Are you okay with me looking at yours?"

"Yes, of course," I said.

Sonya scrutinized me with an expression of detached interest on her pretty face. I did not feel uncomfortable under her gaze; I just whished that there would be a little more for me to do in the future to contribute to this work than letting myself be stared at.

"You will never see anything when you go at it like this," Adrian's voice suddenly piped up from behind me. I turned to see that he had made an appearance in the living room again. He had changed and styled his hair in his usually carefully messed-up do, but his defying posture and the dismissive look on his face had not changed a bit.

"You're suggestions are very welcome, Adrian," Sonya said, her patience and kindness undiminished.

"We need a point of comparison if we want to find a difference to normal people. Any aura would be too complex to put a thumb on anything Strigoi related, unless it screams out to us. And I think that we both had the dubious honor of savoring Belikov's aura frequently enough so we would have noted a blatant mark left by his past, if it were that obvious."

"You're right," Sonya exclaimed. "We need a control subject!"

"I guess that ends research for today," Adrian said smugly. "No control subject, no use continuing. It was so nice seeing you two."

Sonya looked a little flustered at having her first attempt at attacking our goal end so quickly.

"But who can we ask to do this for us? Adrian and I aren't suitable. Our spirit magic messes with everything in our auras."

"No, we need someone else. Someone with little or no connection to spirit at all." I agreed.

Adrian wasn't contributing to our brainstorming anymore, now that he had succeeded in postponing work for today.

"Maybe we could ask one of the dhampirs with Jill to help us?" Sonya said hopefully. "I now Sydney would help us immediately, but with her being a human, I don't think she would be the best choice for this," she thought aloud. I noticed Adrian's head rising at the mention of Sydney's name.

"Why not try?" he said nonchalantly. "We could ruffle her feathers a little in the process, you know, make her uncomfortable with evil creatures of the night torturing her with magic and all."

"No, that would not be fair to Sydney," Sonya said, frowning. Adrian's interest ebbed away as quickly as it had come.

"I will ask Eddie whether he can make time to come," I suggested. "He will know the importance of this. He will be willing to help."

"Don't keep him away from his schoolwork, though," Adrian remarked ironically. Again, Sonya pretended not to notice the sting in his words.

"Yes, we can't distract him from his other duties too much. He is here on a mission too, after all. But maybe we can ask him to join us on the weekends. This way, we don't interfere with school."

Adrian rolled his eyes silently.

Sonya and I found no reason not to leave after this. We left Adrian to whatever he was going to do on any normal day, and traced our steps back to the car.

"He could do with some company, I think," Sonya said as I pulled from the curb.

"Certainly not with mine, I'm sure," I had to remind her. She didn't comment on it.

"He's been alone with spirit for too long," she reasoned. "I know the feeling."

She paused. Her voice was pensive when she continued: "This is another thing we might look into. I haven't been feeling the effects of spirit so much since I was turned back. I haven't been using it a lot since, but then, I never really have and it affected me anyway. Something changed when Robert changed me. Something might protect me from the spirit darkness, too."

"It almost sounds as if you're suggesting a fling with the Strigoi as a way of overcoming the effects of spirit," I said, a little more harshly than necessary. Sonya looked appalled. She stumbled for words, aghast at the very idea of what I had interpreted her thoughts as.

"Dimitri, that is not what I meant! I would never suggest such a thing! Me turning Strigoi… it was.."

"There is no need to explain," I said. "I did not mean to accuse you. I can only guess at the torments you went through."

It was true, I had no idea what a spirit user felt like when the inevitable backlash of magic use overcame them. But I still had trouble coming to terms with the fact that Sonya had chosen the path to becoming a monster voluntarily. I knew and respected her, and I was aware that she would never have taken this step lightly. Nevertheless, she had taken it.

An unbidden part of my mind informed me that Sonya's past spoke volumes about Adrian's state of mind, too. She had not been so much older than he was now when she broke under the pressures of mental illness. She had not been able to live with the darkness and the menace of insanity for much longer than he had been dealing with them. The young man did have some reason to be behaving the way he was.

"What are we going to do with all this time on our hands, if we can only do the work we came here to do on the weekends?" Sonya said when we pulled into the driveway to Clarence's mansion.

"Don't you have a wedding to plan?" I tried to cheer her up. It worked.

"I suppose. I could do some preparation from here," she agreed. "It's only that our different schedules make it hard to get a hold of Mikhail on the phone. He's on duty when I'm free, or he's asleep, and I'll be asleep when he is free. You're lucky Rose is on a more similar schedule."

I was, in fact. I had been looking forwards to calling her all morning. Her and Vasilisa's classes must have been over for an hour now; just the time to reach Rose when she was home, maybe getting ready to turn in early, maybe still up with Lissa or the guardians, spending her night in one way or another. I waited until I was in the privacy of my guest room to dial her number. I listened to the line beeping, counting the seconds. She was fast to pick up when I called, so fast that I sometimes suspected she must have a second sense telling her it was me calling. She would answer the phone as if she had expected my calls, even when I called her to times other than our habitual hour allotted to calling, just to hear her voice saying my name.

She didn't pick up this time, though. After the seventh ring, the phone went to voice-mail. I didn't speak on the tape, too disappointed at having my anticipating joy crushed. I would try later.

* * *

**This chapter might be a little anticlimactic, but it's sort of just a quick check-in with Dimitri to see what he's up to. There's more action coming up in the next chapters, Lissa isn't out of the woods yet!**


	15. Backlash

LISSA

It was the first thing that came to my mind in the morning: _One of my guardians died for me yesterday._ It made me go from asleep to wide awake in an instant, the moment I opened my eyes. The bed was a tight fit for me and Christian, being a single and less than half the size of our palace bed. He was squeezed in between me and the wall, and his arms around me were a necessity not only because I would have refuse to sleep without them, but also because there was nowhere he could have put them other than around me. When I looked across the room to Rose, I met her brown, open eyes. She was already awake, too.

"Morning your majesty", she said huskily. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. I think." I twisted around to see whether Christian was awake, too. He started stirring when I did, freeing one of his hands to clear his face from all the wayward strands of my hair that were clinging to him. His good morning was a mixture of a mumble and a spit.

"This is turning out to be quite the slumber party," Rose said. "Don't get used to it, Christian, I'm usually much more exclusive when it comes to who sees me in my out-of-bed morning glory."

She was trying to make light of the reason of us being here all together, trying to get my mind off the death of one of my guardians. But this was a thing that was really hard to be distracted from.

"Don't worry," Christian retorted. "There's actually nothing much to see about your magical transformation from zombie to warrior princes by means of a doughnut."

Amazing how those two could go to having a wit contest straight from waking up. I could probably wake them up in the middle of a tornado in a house on fire and they would try to outdo each other finding humorous ways to comment on each other's emergency reaction skills.

Today though, I wasn't in the mood for their bickering. I still hadn't talked to the guardians who had survived the attack yesterday. As I rolled out of bed and went for the bathroom, it came to me that I would have had time to go and see Rick in the hospital before he had died. But this was unimportant now. I had had no strength left to heal him; I hadn't even found it in me to leave the bed all day. I was feeling better already, though another visit to Amanda would still do me some good.

When I left the bathroom, showered and presentable again, I found Rose and Christian in the living room with Serena and two other guardians. The two guys had not been there yesterday, but of course, all my guardians had been filled in as soon as the immediate danger was banned.

I went up to Serena and hugged her. She was clearly surprised, but she returned my hug gently. I told her over and over again how grateful I was for what she had done yesterday, not only for me, but for the other injured guardians as well. She limped slightly from a wound in her leg, but she brushed it off, saying it was nothing compared to the wounds I had healed for her colleagues. By the looks she gave me, I gained the impression that she was just as grateful for my part in maximizing our survival rate than I was for hers. Then she left to sort out the replacement for Rick and the temporal ones for the injured guardians, and I got on the phone with everyone else who had been there for the attack, thanking them on the phone at least so as not to have to wait until they were on duty again. Rose and Christian tried to make me eat while I called them, but I waved them off. This was important to me.

When they finally had me settled on the table with a cup of coffee and some buttered toast on my plate, they had long since finished their breakfast.

"Is Hans informed?" I asked Rose.

"Of course. He knew as soon as Christian."

"Will there be any changes? More guardians? More safety measures?"

Guardians had a way to double security after an incident had occurred.

"No," Rose said. "Except maybe for us getting a few bulletproof vests, but that would raise a few suspicions on campus. We had it under control as well as anyone can control snipers. Things will stay the same."

"Guns suck," Christian said, earning an affirming snort from Rose.

"Years of guardian training, and there's still nothing to be done against a bullet coming at you. It sucks big time," Rose exclaimed.

"Except for someone else dying for me," I said darkly.

"It's what Rick wanted," Rose said immediately. "It's what we would all do, Lissa! It's our job! You come first!"

There was nothing to be said to that. I finished my breakfast, and we went to sitting on the couch, talking about exams, training, wondering how Jill and the others were doing, anything to steer away from darker topics. Christian's training provided ample things to talk about, seeing as how excited he still was to tell me any new magical defense tactic he and his team had come up with. He was describing the technique a water user named Nanette had developed of compressing water into a dense stream and blowing a target away with it when I noticed how often the name Nanette featured in his tale. Nanette. What kind of stupid name was that anyway? It sounded like the name of a nanny from the last century. Apparently, she was such an apt water user. Well, I guessed any kind of magic was better than mine for Christian. I was only a spirit user. There was nothing flashy I could contribute to his magical fighting group. And even if I could, I would have been useless because I would never have been able to practice as much as they did, because using so much spirit would have reduced me to a drooling shell within weeks. The thought of how he was able to use as much fire as he wanted, whereas I had to ration myself like a man in a desert with only a pint of water, aggravated me. And then again this name, Nanette. She made me want to punch her probably beautiful little face, all her advantage from combat training aside.

"Kind of makes me wonder how you can bear to miss training all those hours today, just to be with me," I blurted in the middle of a colorful depiction of the amount of damage a jet of water could do when hitting a practice dummy full force.

I saw Rose and Christian share a pointed look, which only served to drive me on edge further.

"Oh, right, I remember," I almost snarled. "You have to come to the rescue of poor old Lissa, who can't even deal with using her magic for a minute to get some wounds to close." I shrugged Christian's arms off me and defiantly crossed my arms.

"I'm just telling you about our progress," Christian said cautiously. "Usually, you're interested."

"Seems like I should be more interested sometimes. So tell me, what's so special about this Nanette?"

"Um.." Christian didn't seem to know what I was getting at with my question. "Well, she's a really good water user. She could already make our teachers in St. Vlad's look like third graders when it comes to offensive magic."

"Yes, I know, you're all pros at kicking ass. What do you like about her?"

"I like that they're not judging me, for one thing," he said. I noticed that he had diplomatically switched to talking about 'them'. "They have all lost someone to Strigoi. Some have lost their whole families. It's why everyone puts so much effort into this whole project: we're all personally involved. You'd think that people who had someone killed by Strigoi would be even more revolted by someone turning on purpose, and they are, but no one suspects me of ever doing it. They all know that someone who invests so much into learning how to use their powers would never give it all up for something like this."

"Sounds like your group has an extraordinarily high average of independent thinking," Rose said. "I'm guessing there are not a lot of royal Moroi?"

"I'm the only one," Christian replied. They shared a smirk and a disdainful look.

"On the other side, that means that I'm also the one who has to do all the talking with those Council blockheads. The non-royals say that I have to do it because at least there is a chance that they are going to listen to me."

"You should be the one doing it anyway. You started the whole thing!" said Rose.

"I wouldn't mind giving the honor of being the Council connection to someone else," he laughed. "Our last meeting very nearly bored me to death. I don't know how you stand it, Lissa!"

"I didn't know there was a meeting," I said, confusedly.

"It was a few weeks ago on a Wednesday, so you couldn't have come anyway. They wanted some more info on short notice, so Nanette and I went and gave them what they wanted."

"You went with Nanette to the Council and didn't tell me?" My voice rose higher. "What, do you not trust me to argue well for your side?"

Christian immediately looked alarmed. "No! It was just that you weren't there and the Council had some questions, and I didn't want to go alone. So she offered to come."

"Hey, it's time for lunch, don't you think?" Rose butted in, in a very crude attempt to change the subject.

I rose from the sofa. My anger had flared up and was raging furiously within me. At the very thought of this person called Nanette, blinking red alarm lights started to go off with a wailing alarm bell. How did she dare to throw herself at Christian like this?

They both got to their feet as well.

"Why did you keep this from me? What was the big secret?" I called heatedly.

"I… It slipped my mind," Christian said, sounding helpless. "There was other stuff… and it wasn't that big of a deal. Lissa, look, it was just…"

"You went behind my back with this person!" I screamed. I was so furious I felt like hammering my fists against every part of him I could reach.

"Lissa, calm down, it wasn't a big deal," Rose said. She tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but I pushed her away.

"Why do you keep repeating that it was no big deal? Are you in on this, Rose?" I asked, incredulously. "Did you know about this?"

"Look, there was nothing to know about," Christian said. His voice had taken this incredibly silly, apologetic tone. What did he have to apologize for, I wondered, when everything was _no big deal_? Then he gave me even more stupid excuses, clearly talking his way out of things he'd kept from me: "It's not like we were alone somewhere, we just sat with the Council for an hour or two and then we left."

"OH, SURE YOU WEREN'T ALONE SOMEWHERE!" I shrieked. I hadn't known my voice could become so high and so loud, but that wasn't what I cared about right now.

"Stop. Lissa, calm down!" Christian said desperately. I was stepping towards him, and he put up his hands in front of him. "Don't you see, this is-"

"THIS IS YOU DOING SECRET THINGS WITH A GIRL!" I screamed. Rose kept talking behind me, but I it hardly even registered with me. The door opened with a bang, and the guardians who had been standing around the house barged in. They looked at me confusedly, the idiots, just looking at me and standing in the way. Because this was the door I wanted Christian to leave through right now.

"GET OUT!" I raved.

"I'm not going to leave, Lissa, you need to listen!"

"I listened enough! GO!"

With that, I raised my hands too, almost mimicking his cowardly appeasing gesture. But there was nothing calming about them. I touched the magic, and it came more willingly than ever before, it surged through me with an energy that gave my life a new meaning. I channeled all my anger into my hands, summoning all the energy I could muster. Then I cast it all out towards Christian, shoved it right at him, the gathered force of all my spirit power. I never touched him physically, but he flew back, taken utterly by surprise. Of course, he had not even considered that I might be able to defend myself, too. His head hit the doorframe with a satisfying crack. He lost his balance and slid sideways down the frame, half way out of the open door. All the while, he looked at me out of these piercing, silly, baby blue eyes, looking at me as if his world collapsed because this insignificant little girl had dared to hand out some kicks of her own. God, he was such a wuss. Didn't even try to defend himself, and that against an untrained girl. I raised my hands again, but didn't get to release the pent-up magic swirling within me. Rose had grabbed my arm and was forcefully turning me around, not at all as gentle as I was used to being treated by her. At the same time, two guardians removed my target by grabbing Christian under the arms and practically dragging him out of the room. I was about to use my new-found power on Rose, because her grip irked me, when I met her eyes. Suddenly, her voice started to register through the red-hot haze of my rage.

"Please listen to me, Lissa! This is spirit darkness, you need to stop this! Liss, just take a moment to calm down, I promise if you're still angry afterwards we can find some way for you to vent it, but just calm down now, okay?"

"Well, what, then?" I barked, still irritated.

"You need to control this. You're off the handle right now, you need to ease off a little, okay? You know, battle with words instead of with your fists. Or your palms… Anyway. Are you calming down? You're calming down. That's good."

It suddenly came to me that Rose sounded incredibly frightened. I had never seen Rose frightened, not this frightened. Her eyes seemed twice the size they usually were, her body was as rigid as if she was getting ready so see Strigoi rounding the corner.

"Just think about good stuff. Um… kittens…think about kittens. Little, white fluffy…um...kittens. They're supposed to be adorable, right. Think of the kittens."

She was handling me as if I was a bomb ready to explode. A brief glance around the room told me that four of the six guardians currently on duty were standing around the walls, matched expressions of horrified disbelief on their faces. Through the dimming curtain of anger, I realized two things: firstly, that such a blatant show of emotion was out of keeping with everything I knew of them; secondly, that I was what had them paralyzed in horror.

My head felt all cloudy all of a sudden. Something was very wrong here.

"Lissa," Rose called herself to my attention. She was still looking frightened and worried.

By degrees, I was mirroring the expressions of the frozen guardians. My hand went to my mouth, as if to belatedly hold back the things I dimly remembered saying. My mind wound back like a voice recorder, flooding my mind with images: Christian retreating in the face of my fiercely threatening hands, him trying to stop my raging madness, Rose grabbing me to stop me, Christian on the floor looking up at me helplessly.

I couldn't breathe anymore. My throat was constricting, the air that I sucked in with an involuntary whimper burning me. Rose was still talking to soothe me, but once again, her words didn't have any meaning for me.

I had just attacked my boyfriend. I had let spirit darkness take me over to the degree that I had let myself be controlled by the whim of the moment, taking a random emotion and working myself into a frenzy so complete my conscious ceded all control.

"Oh my God," I whispered. Rose was holding me, but I was barely aware. My knees buckled; she eased my down on the floor and sat down with me.

"It's okay, Lissa, nothing bad happened," she almost crooned. "We got it in check, it's okay now."

"No," I could still nothing but whisper. "Oh God no. I attacked Christian. I _attacked_ him." Once more, I could no longer control myself; I ceded to my emotions again, but this time, I just broke down crying. I started shaking uncontrollably, my body so whacked with silent sobs that I hardly got the words out.

"Where is he?" I choked. "Did I hurt him? Please say I didn't hurt him!"

"I… I don't know," Rose stammered. I was staring at the door, where there was no one to look at, but it was where he had left. It was where he came back, too, I don't know how much time later. He was in one piece, and he didn't shrink back when I reached out for him, and he made me get up and walked me to the sofa, where I continued to sob and cry and no longer knew whose hands it were that were caressing me, but I had wrenched a handful of his shirt into my fist that made me sure it was still his lap I was curled up on, still him I was trying to hide under, still his breath I was feeling on my skin when he wrapped himself around me.

...

I must have fallen asleep from all the crying. When I woke up enough to form a coherent thought, I was still in a tight ball on the sofa, my head and upper body curled in a cramped fetal position on Christian's lap. I must be cutting of the circulation in his legs really badly with my weight. He was leaning forward, so I was snugly accommodated in the hollow made by the bend of his body. Emerging from my stupor, I became aware of hushed voiced talking in my vicinity. It was Rose and Christian having a subdued conversation over my no longer sleeping form. Along with hearing Christians low voice, I felt a vibration coming from his chest. For some reason, this made me feel very secure and comfy where I was, despite the cramped position I was in.

"…they're waiting outside," Rose said in response to something I hadn't quite caught.

"Good. They will need a talk, I guess," Christian said.

"Yes. That was a little too much in two days for them. Even we have a breaking point, I guess."

"You don't, thankfully."

"I'm used to this. You're doing okay, too."

"Hm."

"How's your head?"

"It's fine."

There was a lull in their conversation, during which I almost fell back asleep.

"You know, I'm kind of glad she's able to defend herself so well, if push comes to shove," said Rose's voice.

"Rose…" Christian said, turning on the hum in his chest again. "If she'll ever need this kind of desperate defense, it will mean that you guys are all dead. To the last man. I do hope she will never need to use it."

"I guess it does," she conceded. "Still…"

There was another silence, until I decided to break it.

"So you guys do have civilized conversations when I'm not looking," I said. My voice came out hoarse.

It was cruel to leave the safety of my little nest, but I guess I had to face the world again at some point. I struggled to a sitting position, discovering blankets that had been draped over me. I blinked like an owl when I found myself in the middle of the sofa wedged between the two of them.

"Hey Liss," Christian said with a crooked smile.

"Back among the living again," Rose said. "You're developing a very unsteady sleeping pattern, my girl."

"Am I back to normal?" I asked them dejectedly.

"I think you got it out of your system," Rose reassured me.

I watched my knees so as not to have to look them in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." What I'd done was hardly excusable by such plain words, but for lack of anything that could mend the damage I had done, I used them anyway. They sounded way too flat for the degree of sorryness I was feeling right now.

"You made that pretty clear by all the tears you shed." Christian said simply.

I looked at him after all, meeting these ice blue eyes that my crazy self had thought of so deprecatingly before.

"I'm sorry," I repeated desperately. This time, my voice tapered out in a choked whisper.

He returned my gaze earnestly. "I know," he said.

My decision was made already; I didn't even need to give it a second thought: "I'm going back on medication."

At first, silence met my declaration. Then Rose said: "That's a good idea."

When Christian didn't say anything, I felt the constricting feeling in my chest again. I willed it to go away. I would not dissolve into a bawling tear well again.

He must have noticed the desperation in my eyes, though, because he smiled sadly and said: "Lissa, it's your decision. I want you to be safe more than anything else, but I cannot ask you to give up your magic. That said, if you want to go back to medication, I will do everything I can to support you, you know that."

"You don't hate me?" I had to ask.

"Silly. I made the mistake of confusing your spirit moments with your real self once before. I'm not going to be this dumb again."

"Did I hurt you?" I whispered.

"Well, let's say you made me find a lot more respect for your ferocious side," he said, laughing. "But I'm not hurt. Don't worry, Liss."

He was probably just construing the word 'hurt' differently than I meant it, for I remembered Rose's question about his head. I let it go, though, too relieved to have both of them still by my side.

"Where are the guardians? What are they thinking? Have they called Court yet saying they chose a nutcase for queen?"

"They're waiting outside," Rose said. "We explained to them about spirit darkness. They will need to hear it from you again, but they'll get over it. They're still loyal to you."

"I need those pills," I said with decision. "I can't afford this. I can't go crazy like this."

"It was really bad this time," Rose confirmed, cautiously. "We just didn't get through to you. It was like you didn't even hear us."

"It's getting worse," I whispered. I was doing a lot of whispering in this conversation. Maybe to make up for all the shouting and screaming I had done earlier.

"You used massive amounts of spirit," Christian reasoned. "It was bound to be bad."

"But I can't afford this. I need to be functional. I can't be letting everyone down like this. This can never happen again."

My resolve was made. I was going back on the depression pills. Even if I was never going to access my magic again, I would not make the Moroi and dhampir races have a madwoman as their queen. And I would never again put my loved ones in danger of being hurt when they were trying to help me.


	16. Being Apart

**Hi everyone! Just a little note on the following Dimitri chapter(s):**

**I decided not to include the moments that Dimitri is actually mentioned in The Golden Lily. For one, there are fanfiction authors who write whole books from Dimitri's POV and do it with much more attention to detail than I would, and also, I feel that I don't contribute anything original when I stick to the bloodline series too closely. Also, I want to have Dimitri back at Court soon, because he can do so much more there! So, this is why I'm trying to get over Dimitri's time in Palm Springs as quickly as possible. That means I will gloss over some things, but honestly, aren't you all waiting for the big reunion as much as I am? :-)**

DIMITRI

It was infuriating. We were month into our research, and we had accomplished nothing. Absolutely nothing. The worst of it was that I didn't even _do_ anything in our research sessions. All the work was up to Adrian and Sonya. They stared, we sat. The only thing we had made any progress in was getting Adrian to actively participate in our studies. Other than that, we knew as much as weeks ago, only that we had spent hours of fruitless aura watching in an atmosphere wrought with tension and off-handed little stings, courtesy of Adrian. When I was sitting next to Eddie on Adrian's sofa, enduring the scrutiny of the two spirit users' watching out for any detail that might give us some clue as to the assumed Strigoi conversion leftover, I had to work harder and harder not to let my impatience show. I kept the same unreadable face that I had perfected through years of training, when inside of me, every fiber of my muscles screamed to move, to do something, to do anything to help what we were attempting to show. I knew that I was contributing to the research as much as I could by doing exactly what I hated most: sitting still. But after all those days of no results, I was craving for action. I was going mad with the inactiveness. There had been a shimmer of hope when we found out that my blood contained some remnants of spirit whereas Eddie's did not; but even that had been a dead end so far. Today, we had spent another morning comparing blood samples, but we hadn't found anything else that was different.

When the time to make a lunch break had arrived, I jumped at the opportunity to get outside and stretch my legs. My need for movement made my legs carry me to the Chinese take-away place and back so fast that my errant had taken half the time it usually took any of the others.

Just when I had resigned myself to go back up to Adrian's apartment, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Taking it out demanded some juggling, as I was loaded with food containers, but when I looked at the display, it showed Rose's name. My heart instantly up lit. I always welcomed her calls, but I think I never needed her ever upbeat mood to lighten mine more than now.

"Roza," I said, picking up.

"Hey, comrade! What's news?"

"Oh, we have a great deal of nothing to tell about our research," I replied. When I was telling her, our stalling no longer bugged me. I could talk about it just as I could talk about lunch. No matter what my life was like, the moment I heard Rose's voice, everything was fine. There was nothing that could have drawn my mood down when she was with me, even if she was still in Pennsylvania and only connected to me by the signals her voice made in the phone line.

"Well, not finding something still means you know more than before: you know what's the same," she encouraged me.

"What's news at your end?" I asked her.

"This new chick!" Rose exclaimed immediately. "She's driving me crazy!"

"What has she done this time?" Rose was referring to the new guardian who had joined the Lehigh group as a replacement for the one they had lost to the attack on Lissa's life. The new guardian had turned out to be a girl not much older than Rose, with a stubbornness and dedication to duty to rival hers, but the exact opposite of her in all other respects.

"She started bringing boxed lunches to the cafeteria because she refuses to eat the food there," Rose said, exasperated. "It's embarrassing to sit on the same table with her. Luckily for us, we usually don't. She goes on about how she wouldn't be able to eat something that used to have cute little eyes and a heartbeat and how cruel it is to use animals for the production of our precious food and how we shouldn't ever eat anything that used to cast a shadow. I swear, it is driving me nuts."

"Bear with her, Rose. You know she's one of the best."

"Hard to believe she can keep up her strength without eating," she mumbled grumpily.

"How is Lissa doing? Is she still okay with taking the medication?"

"She's adapting marvelously to her pills", Rose said. "She hasn't even complained about not being able to access her powers once, even though I know how much she is afraid of an attack happening again and she not being able to save anyone. She's been stable for weeks now."

I had been shocked to hear of Lissa's breakdown. When Rose had called me to tell me about it, I didn't believe it at first. Even the thought of such a gentle person as Lissa attacking someone, a loved one at that, seemed impossible. Then Rose had recounted why Lissa had needed to use such large amounts of spirit in the first place, and my stomach had clenched. The thought of my Roza in the line of fire once again, in danger of intercepting anything meant to harm her charge, the queen, dying again, shot in the middle of the Lehigh campus in a fight for Lissa's life… The shock of Lissa's spirit backlash took on a new perspective, diminishing to nothingness in comparison to the danger to Rose's life. Of course for Rose, Lissa's welfare still counted much more than her own safety, and she had been busy trying to right whatever damage Lissa's bout of spirit darkness had done. I had talked to the queen's guardians, on Rose's request; she wanted them to hear from another guardian they respected that what they had seen did not reflect Lissa's real character.

"There's been another big official hearing for the novice age decree," Rose continued. "The evidence is overwhelming for Lissa's case already, and they haven't even seen your Moroi fighting squad. She's positive that she will have this stupid law revoked before it can come into effect with the graduation of the first batch of seventeen-year-old novices. They scheduled the Moroi's demonstration to be in a few months' time, so you need to hurry when you get back to them!"

"Who's been taking my combat classes for them?" I asked.

"Oh, there's no need to worry about this – guardians have been battling amongst themselves for the right to teach them."

"Good. Any progress on the quorum law?"

"Well, that's the big stumbling block still. Lissa's having trouble getting people to see that this is important enough to spent time on. For her opponents, it's just one life they're willing to lose to get someone else on the throne. And then there are those for whom anything older than last Friday is a sanctity and they're crying treason if anyone tries to touch it. Even those who are on her side normally are having a hard time with this. She's making slow progress. By the way, did you know that your charge is spending more and more time in Court affairs? We could be standing in debates side by side soon."

"Christian? What in the world would he be doing in debates?"

"He's started to make himself known for more than just being a troublesome lateral thinker. He said that his and Lissa's relationship will be more accepted when people at Court accept him. Also, he's simply frustrated with how things are. He's been in contact with Court procedures more and more lately, what with managing the legal side of your team. He hates it, though. I don't know how long he will hold out."

"That's interesting news. I wish him good luck."

"I'll tell him. You know… I keep thinking that what he's doing is pretty much following in Tasha's footsteps. It's a weird thought."

"Don't tell him that."

"Of course not. But I have to pay attention not to slip and say it to him by accident."

Then Rose changed to a more cheerful tone.

"How are you guys? Any new love triangles? What's new on the Eddie and Angeline front? I'm still convinced you're having me on with that pairing. That just can't be happening."

I laughed. Rose took my tales from Palm Springs as something of a soap opera. She had been laughing tears at some of Angeline's antics or Adrian and Sydney's quips.

"Yeah, I still don't know how that happened. Especially with how Jill and Eddie are practically drooling over each other. It's like they keep taking turns giving the other the doey-eyes, but they never catch the other's look. Maybe you should ask Sydney, she's becoming something of the mother in the gang.

"Oh Sydney! Who would have thought. But seriously. Do you still think that Adrian has a thing for her?" Rose lowered her voice mysteriously. "That would be a wicked turn of events for you guys there."

"It will only get exciting by the time Sydney gets the drift. So far, she's been incredibly clueless for such a smart person. By the way, she broke up with this guy of hers. What was his name… Jaden?"

"Brandon?"

"No… Bradley…"

"Anyway! They broke up? Why?"

"I have no idea. Sydney is the only one who doesn't lament the breakup. It's the rest of the gang missing their second-hand romance."

"I can't blame them. You guys make my day every time I hear from you."

"And there I thought it was talking to me that make you call me so much," I teased.

"Never put you eggs in one basket, comrade! I have multiple reasons for doing things."

"You're a very complex personality, my Roza."

"Well said. What are you doing now?"

"Um…" I looked down myself. I had been so immersed in our conversation that I had forgotten what I was about to do. The food containers were still balanced in a precarious stack on my left hand, cooling only little in the California heat.

"Nice of you to remind me. I was getting food for everyone. I have to go back up, I guess. They'll think I made a little detour to track some Strigoi or something if I take too long."

"Right. That will end my attempts at procrastinating exam preparation, I'm afraid."

"Is it going well?"

"The procrastination? No, that is not going well at all. It has turned out to be very challenging to not study when Lissa is throwing around textbooks and making me quiz her all day. And quizzing me. And then Hans called up and personally told me how important it is for me to pass those exams, or I will not be able to take the same advanced classes that Lissa will at some point."

"I could get Sydney on the phone for some valuing-college pep talk," I suggested. That made Rose groan.

"Leave it to you to make me have a bad conscience even when I'm working my ass off to pass! I'm not like Sydney"

"And I like you all the same."

"Was that supposed to sound romantic?"

"Not really."

"Good, 'cause it wasn't."

I could banter with her like this forever, not really saying anything yet saying everything we wanted the other to hear between the lines. But unfortunately, I did indeed have to return to Sonya and the others before they would start to worry.

"Rose. I need to go. Call again in your morning?"

Thinking around the differences in the times and habits of our respective schedules was a challenge sometimes. This was her after-class and pre-turning-in call. She would sleep now, and call me again when she got up.

"I can't. We're going clothes shopping as early as we can, to have some time before shops close. I'll call you again tomorrow!"

"I can't wait. I love you," I said.

"Dearest darling mine, I love you too," she replied chuckling. "Oh, wait, Dimitri, I almost forgot! What are you wearing right now?"

I paused.

Rose seemed to realize the double entente in her question, because she quickly corrected herself: "I mean this in no kind of sexually insinuating way, comrade! But seriously, what are you wearing?" I thought I heard muffled laughter in the background on her side of the line, but I couldn't be sure.

"I'm wearing what I usually wear."

"Really? The full attire? Coat and all?"

"Yes."

"Yes!" Rose repeated out loud. This time, I was pretty sure I heard a noise of disappointment. And I was also fairly sure I recognized the voice.

"Rose? Did I just hear Christian in the background?"

"Um, yes. That was Christian."

"What is he doing in Lehigh?"

"He came over for the day. He sprained an ankle and they're making him sit out for two days."

"He's leaving Court awfully much since I'm not around to come with."

"Yeah, I think he deliberately waited for you to leave until he hurt his ankle, so that he wouldn't have to drag a grumpy Russian along for the ride."

"Rose!"

"Oh, by the way, he bought a car! Wait till you see it!"

By the barely contained laughter in her voice, I gathered that one, she was teasing Christian with what she was saying – or with something else while she was saying it - and two, the car was a subject of some amusement to her.

"What is it about the car?"

"I'm not sure it matters to you, because its life will probably not last long enough for you to get to know it. It will most likely breathe its last when he takes it back to Court."

"Great."

I hoped it did die before I would have to drive it, by the sound of it. But then I wondered:

"Is this Christian's way of defying royal stuck-upness?"

Rose laughed again. "It's almost worth the looks they give him when he wheezes into the parking garage with the thing. He picks out the most expensive Porsche to park beside, then gets out and smiles innocently at anyone who happens to pass by."

"How is this in line with him trying to get in good with the Court folks?"

"Did I ever say that Christian's actions make a lot of sense?"

My reply was cut short when the door to Adrian's building opened and Eddie strode out. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me, took in the sight of me with the food balanced on my left and the phone in my right, and his glance changed into one of understanding. Without further circumstances, he unburdened me of the boxes of food, nodded at me, and returned into the house. I had forgotten that I was waited for again.

"Comrade? You still there?" Rose asked.

"Yes. I have been relieved of feeding duty. I have time to talk now."

"That's great, but I don't, unfortunately. I'm going to the gym with the guys for a little workout session. I have to keep in shape."

"Right," I said, a little disappointed.

"I've got to go, comrade. I'll call you tomorrow."

We went through the goodbyes again.

"Keep your patience, Dimitri," Rose said before we hung up. "You're going to find something someday."

I put the phone away in my pocket, and finally made my way up to the apartment. I hoped they had at least left me a few spring rolls.

...

What a day this had been. On the way back from town, Sonya was quiet. Her withdrawal was not surprising, seeing as she had just been ambushed by hooded people hostile to vampires who had held a sword to her throat. I admired her composure.

"Are you alright?" I asked her. I knew she wasn't; I also knew she would interpret my wish to comfort her rather than question her correctly.

"It's hard to have this kind of reminder of my time in Kentucky," she said.

The time in Kentucky. The time she had been Strigoi. Yes, I could see how that would have a strong impact on her. I was probably the only person on earth who could fully understand the repercussions of that time. She and I, we were unique in that respect. The only people known of who had been Strigoi and came back.

"I'm not sure these reminders will ever stop," I admitted. I was seeing them in the eyes of people at Court. True, the hostility against me had reduced to an almost imperceptible whisper after I had been formally reinstated as a guardian and the ruling queen endorsed my integrity. Imperceptible to everyone but me. There was no hiding the half frightened, half loathing glances that some people still shot me from me, much though Rose and everyone else who liked me tried.

"You might be right," Sonya said. "But in the home I made for myself with Mikhail, it's easy not to let them get to me. They don't get so close."

"And also", she continued after a little while, "I believe in a person's right to leave the past behind."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that people have the right to make mistakes. They have the right to change. For most people, the mistakes aren't as severe as mine, and the change isn't as tremendous as ours, but I think that the same rules apply. You change, and people need a long time to accept that change in you. But eventually, they will, even if it's just because they forget the past."

I hesitated. I never spoke so openly about my Strigoi experience. But if not with Sonya, then when would I ever be able to disclose myself?

"I have forgiven myself – my relationship with Rose is proof of that. But even though, the memory of the dead bodies of my victims in my Strigoi time will stay with me forever. Even if it was not me, but just my body without my soul, who committed those murders, there will always be the picture of my hands breaking their necks in my memory."

Now it was Sonya's turn to ask: "What do you want to say?"

"How can I forget?" I simply asked.

"By making new memories." She sounded so confident when she said this.

"Do you think it's as easy as that?"

"It's not easy. But aren't you doing it already?"

I thought about this for a moment. The few months since I had been turned back from Strigoi were not a long time. Yet, even I could see how much progress I had already made in dealing with my past. I went from utter desolation and self-blame to being a fully functional guardian, all in the space of these few months. At times, I did not think of my past at all; when I was busy giving classes, when I had a stimulating conversation, when I was with Rose and Lissa and Christian, watching them behave the way they used to during their school days. When I was alone with Rose, it was different: she reminded me so much of those Strigoi months, but at the same time, she accepted me so thoroughly that she made the memories bearable. I hardly ever had a nightmare when she was in my bed; it was only when I was by myself with too much time to think that the Stigoi memories started to haunt me. Was I making new memories to chase the old ones into the hidden corners of my mind?

"I know that one day, you and I will be able to be perfectly happy again." Sonya's words brought me back to the present.

"But being the way I am now, still carrying the body I shared with something I abhor with the deepest loathing of my soul – being this way, and having people trying to kill me for what this body used to be – this is… harsh." Such a simple word for the complexity she was trying to convey.

"They don't know that I am no longer what I was – they can't tell the difference. It's hard to really blame them for wanting to fight Strigoi."

"Maybe. But one thing is for sure: I can blame them for not recognizing the difference between then and now. Believe me, Sonya – there's nothing Strigoi about you now."

...

I don't know if she would have been as lenient in her assessment of this crazy group of vampire hunters later when they caught her, drugged her and made a show of a mock trial for her. We had arrived in the nick of time to save her. Now she was safely back in Clarence's house, in bed, resting, in a much better condition already after taking blood from Clarence's feeder.

The house was still swarming with dhampirs. Most of the guardians who had helped us had already left to return to their respective charges, but the injured who hadn't been able to leave yet were still covering the sofas of Clarence's living room. Along with them, some dhampirs had stayed behind to see to them and assist in driving them back to their charges' homes. Dorothy was making rounds between them, offering food and water. With the aftereffects of Sonya's feeding, she kept forgetting whom she had offered refreshments and asked the same guardians several times. They didn't mind, most jumping at the chance to get a second serving.

I was helping a guardian with an injured leg to a car when I saw Adrian's flamboyant yellow car pull into the driveway. This alarmed me a bit, since he had only just left with Sydney a few hours ago, but his easy smile as he got out of the driver's seat eased my worries instantly.

"Belikov. Time for word? Or are you still busy saving the day and all?"

"No, the day is already saved. I'm saving the night now." I said. Seemed like Adrian had rubbed off on me with his ever witty remarks – although I might have to work on the wittiness of mine a little. I would have expected a remark to the effect of mocking my inept joke, but in a rare show of seriousness, Adrian didn't react at my comment at all.

"I just wanted to say that you did a great job today," he said instead. "Not just today, the last days, too. I don't know how this would have ended without your guardian intervention."

"I did what I had to," I replied. He shrugged.

"Well, I just wanted to say this. Didn't really get to do it with all those people around earlier. There would have been witnesses of me not contradicting you, and I have a reputation to uphold."

"Thank you," I said. "Not for the reputation bit."

He smirked. Shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, he turned around to his car again. Then he stopped, and, almost reluctantly, turned back to face me again.

"You'll be flying home soon, right?" He asked. I answered in the affirmative. "Um, could you… could you tell Rose that I know now – I know how not to feel as a victim? And… that I might yet find someone I don't need a contract with for things to work."

He avoided my eyes when he said this. It was no wonder, seeing as this was probably the most emotional speech he had ever had in my presence that did not involve venting his anger at me.

"I will," I told him. He nodded his thanks, and then, resuming his usual dandy saunter, disappeared into his flashy car and with it down the driveway.


	17. A Happy Rose

LISSA

Rose was practically hopping with joy. She was prancing up and down in the driver's seat, singing along to a tune from the radio with lots of enthusiasm but little musical feel. I couldn't help but smile indulgently at her happiness. She had been separated from Dimitri for almost one and a half month now. Little wonder the thought of seeing him again elated her to no end.

It was a Friday afternoon, and we had postponed our arrival at Court for a few hours in order to pick up Dimitri from the airport. This was the only way Rose could have picked him up at all, and she said she didn't mind the company for their reunion. All the same, I had arranged behind her back for them to be in a car by themselves for the drive to Court.

For the drive to the airport, Rose had talked herself into the driver's seat of one of the black SUV that, as usual, brought as where we wanted to go. I, on my part, had talked myself into shotgun. Normally, I was put in the back, the guardians arguing that if we were in an accident, the danger was lower in the back seats. They had not looked happy at having me in the front, but sitting behind Rose would create this weird taxi feel that you get when you keep talking to a person in front of you.

I was sure the two guardians who had taken the backseat in our car were gripping the door handles tightly now, with regard to Rose's driver's seat dancing. They shouldn't worry. Rose would never endanger me, no matter her mood.

"BOOOORN TO BEEE WIIIHIHIHIIIIHILD!" Rose sang, or rather, shouted. I had to laugh. It was one of those songs she would never have listened to without a 'music older than me'-comment with Dimitri present.

"Yes, I know you're going to go wild tonight! No need to broadcast it," I teased.

"Oh, yes, we will!" she chanted blithely. "I hope you and Chrissy-boy will find things to do on your own this weekend, because Dimitri and I will lock ourselves in our room and never come out till Sunday!"

"Wow, now you're overstepping a line there… There is a boundary for happiness-induced imbecility, and my indulgence ends when it comes to nicknames."

"Oh, I'm sorry – will nicknames turn down your ability to _light a fire_ in the bedroom?"

"Ugh, Rose! Not everyone is thinking about sex right now!" I laughed. Even the guardians in the back chuckled.

"You would be, if… " She let the sentence hang suggestively. The dopey smile that had been plastered on her face ever since Dimitri had given her his arrival time grew even more pronounced. Then she just laughed out loud for no apparent reason.

"Hey, crazy stuff is my department," I told her. "Don't steal my freak show!" It was quite an improvement that I could joke about insanity now. The medication was really doing me good.

"Try to stop me," she sang as she boldly swerved into the airport exit lane. Apparently, she was not capable of normal speech today.

She parked the car in a remote corner of a parking garage, so that the other two cars could park to the left and right of us. We got out along with nine guardians. Rose was so psyched she didn't even complain when she handed over the car keys to the guardian who had drawn the match to be the next driver. They fanned out, Rose and three others staying close to me, the others taking positions in various distances from me. We weren't as unobtrusive in an empty parking garage as we were in populated places, but we soon reached the airport's arrival area, where the guardians would immerse themselves in the crowd.

There were still ten minutes to go until Dimitri's plane was due to arrive, a time Rose spent alternating between giggling uncontrollably and hopping around excitedly, and I spent watching her and being happy for her. Finally, people started to come through the one-way doors, the ones with light luggage looking like business people first. Rose almost walked straight into the arrival security zone, and an airport security guard had to point out to her that she was not allowed there. So she stayed next to me, craning her neck to get the soonest possible glimpse of Dimitri she could possibly have.

At the end, Dimitri was fairly easy to spot, on account of him being a head taller than the rest of the passengers. Also, he looked so out of place in his whirling leather duster in the modern airport surroundings that he drew the looks not only of those watching out for him. And as if he wasn't noticeable enough with his height and odd choice of clothing, there was also the undeniable fact that his looks made women turn their heads for him wherever he was.

His eyes were searching for Rose as well. She wasn't quite as conspicuous, so she saw him first. Instantly, she started to weave her way through the waiting crowd. The security guard shot her a warning look, but she never even saw him, instead pushing people out of her way to close the remaining distance to Dimitri. He must not have seen her, for he was still scanning the area attentively. Just as he made out me and the guardians, Rose reached him. She stopped for a moment right in front of him; then the two moved simultaneously, enfolding each other in their arms. They didn't kiss; instead, I saw their lips moving fast while they held each other tightly. They stood there, an obstacle that the stream of people still coming from the arrival's area had to steer clear from, but never eliciting even a single annoyed comment because when Rose and Dimitri were doing something, there was no one brave enough to tell them to stop.

They kept standing there. The area cleared in the brief respite between the arrivals of two flights, but Dimitri and Rose were still enclosed in their own little world. They had still not kissed yet, but talked incessantly as if they wanted to tell each other in person all the news of the last weeks that they had already transmitted on the phone. My guardians became impatient, but I told them to wait. After all, I had kept them apart for all this time. I would do nothing whatsoever to disturb their reunion.

When they were swarmed once again by people exiting the one-way doors, they hugged tightly one more time, and finally made their way over to us. We had retreated to the waiting area, where there was more space in between benches for the people waiting to pick someone up.

"Your majesty," Dimitri said. His smile was smaller than Rose's, but the radiant joy on his face was unhindered by the guardian mask he usually wore when I was around.

"If you don't call me by my name, I'm going to send you straight back to where you came from, Dimitri," I laughed. His smile only grew broader.

"Vasilisa. It's so kind of you to come here. It's so nice you allowed Rose to come." Apparently, he had emptied his reserve of sensible words on the exit way with Rose.

"Of course she would come," I said. "Do you honestly think I could have stopped her?"

I gave Kyle, the guardian next to me, a meaningful glance. Wordlessly, but with a knowing grin, he held out his hand and offered his car keys to Rose.

"Be careful, though," he teased. "Stop at the roadside."

Rose swatted his arm, but took the keys avidly nonetheless. We walked to the cars together, then all the other guardians and I squeezed into two cars and left them alone with theirs and their love.

* * *

**This was a really short chapter, I know… But I'll try to post the next TWO chapters later today, they're already written and I only need to proofread them!**


	18. Reunion with a Bang

DIMITRI

As soon as the two cars with Lissa and the guardians had left, Rose and I turned to each other again.

"The car is nice of her," Rose said. "She didn't tell me."

I only hummed my agreement. Her beauty must have augmented in the weeks I had not seen her, for I simply couldn't take my eyes off her. She was like a pillar of light in a dark and dull prison cell, illuminating the drab parking garage with the exquisite beauty radiating from her.

"Come on, comrade," she said. "Let's get in. I need some more privacy, and preferably a bed, for what I have in store for you." With that, she gave me a brilliant smile, and crossed over to the driver's side. Of course she would want to drive.

I got in beside her. She had put the key in the ignition, but she made no move to start the car. Instead, she was looking at me with what I think was the same expression of longing and love that I wore.

"I've been waiting for this moment for weeks," she said. "Now I really hope that the real thing is as good as my imagination, or I'll be very disappointed."

"It won't," I said. "It will be better."

I leaned over to her. Already, I knew that this would be a moment to preserve, to relish and keep in my mind forever. I tried to take in every little detail of her gorgeous face, drinking in her features as if the separation had made me starved on her looks. Her eyes locked into mine, coming closer as we closed the distance between the seats with our bodies, slowly, savoring the increasing nearness as the precious gift it was.

And then, the moment had come. There it was, the feel of her lips on mine, the exulted bliss cursing through my body, the electric jolt making my heart skip a beat as I touched her face. Our first kiss for one and a half month. And it was perfect.

It took some time for us to actually start the car and leave the airport, and even then it was only the prospect of continuation in a proper bedroom that made us break apart. The ever active guardian part of my mind prodded me with slight discomfort, and I hoped we were not jeopardizing the queen's safety by depriving her of either the advance or the rear guard in her convoy. The feeling was easy to ignore in Rose's presence.

We kept talking during the whole length of the drive. I hadn't thought that there would be so much to talk about, but it seemed like we wanted to hear all the stories of our time apart again, because the phone hadn't done it justice. Rose recounted the details of the attack on Lissa and the aftermath. She went on and on about her exams, some she had already taken, some that were still to come. She painted a vivid picture of the winter break holiday, where she and Lissa would be staying in Court for a month at a time. The way she told it, I could hardly wait for December sixteen to come, when she would have her last exam and come to Court to stay. I described our maneuver to rescue Sonya, and Rose showed special interest in Adrian's freelancing to come to Sydney's rescue.

"He asked me to relay something to you," I remembered then.

"What?"

I chose my words carefully, not wanting to garble his message. "He wants you to know that he has learned not to feel like a victim now. And that he believes that he might one day find someone he doesn't need a contract with."

Rose smiled in silence at this.

"What did he mean?" I asked.

"That he's better now. That he's over me."

"Yes. I realized this when he stopped getting that bitter look in his eyes as soon as I walked in."

"I think Sydney might have played some part in this," Rose contemplated.

"I'm sure of it," I agreed. I had seen those two together. I did not need the ability to see auras to figure out this riddle.

"I'm glad," Rose sighed. "He deserves so much better."

"He might be on his way there."

...

Saturday went by in a haze of happiness. Rose had a few surprises for me in store. She had accomplished to get us assigned together to one of the small apartments reserved for guardian couples. They were much coveted, as most accommodations in guardian housing were single rooms. Not only that, but also had she, in a rare bout of foresightedness, stacked the fridge of our new kitchen with three days' worth of food. We could spend the entire weekend here and never even have to leave the apartment.

And for the rest of Friday and the whole of Saturday, we didn't. We stayed huddled together in bed, mostly, relocating to the kitchen from time to time to get some food. We sat together, talking, cuddling, making love, kissing, talking again, making some more love. It felt like a little piece of heaven on earth. Or actually, quite a big piece.

We woke up on Sunday morning from a night filled with blissful togetherness. Part of this night, we had actually spent sleeping, but even that took on a new quality.

"I haven't been away from Lissa for so long since I brought Jill to Palm Springs," Rose said suddenly.

"Do you miss her already?" I asked.

"To be honest, I do," she admitted. "A little. Just a tiny little bit. Nothing to disturb us."

"Well, actually," I began, "I wouldn't mind showing myself to others with you by my side again. It has been such a long time since I could show off my girlfriend to the world."

I guess in the end, we were both just too active to endure a whole weekend indoors.

...

Lissa and Christian greeted us warmly. We met them in a cozy reception room in the palace, one that Lissa had had remade so she could receive friends in a friendly atmosphere, and not in those big, imposing palace halls. This one had lots of two-seater sofas scattered around the room, interspersed with potted plants and coffee tables. It looked more like a version of Sonya's living room than the reception room of a queen. I liked it immediately.

We settled down in a corner, all of us with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in our hands. Lissa made the most of her time in between meetings.

"You look like you enjoyed your reunion," Christian grinned at us. I hadn't seen him since I got back, and was glad that he seemed happy to see me. From what Rose had said, I had gotten the impression that he didn't exactly miss guardian surveillance when I was gone. He and Lissa seemed very at ease with each other. I had been afraid that Lissa venting her spirit anger at him might drive a wedge between them, but the opposite seemed to be the case. They were closer than ever.

"You don't need an answer to that," Rose said. They had jumped into their light banter again, and Lissa and I shared indulgent glances.

We stayed for about an hour. Then Lissa informed us that she had to go to guardian headquarters, to attend a guardian board meeting she had been asked to join.

"Why don't we walk you over there?" Rose suggested. "It's almost on our way home."

We left the palace and, reinforced by the usual number of Lissa's guardians, sauntered off towards guardian headquarters in a leisurely stroll. It was still early on Sunday night, aka morning on a Court schedule. I had barely noticed my change of schedule in my seclusion with Rose. There was still time until Rose and Lissa would have to be off to Lehigh once again. Back to old habits. The knowledge that I would see her again in only five days' time was very comforting.

The mid-November nights were getting cold. The sky was cloudless, and the moon was shimmering on the waters of the central Court fountain as we neared it. The central square was busy. This was the crossroads to every direction in court, and a beautiful place to take a while to linger on one of the many benches surrounding the square. That was what people were doing, in spite of the temperatures. I saw many couples wrapped around each other on the benches; maybe this was only because of my currently heightened sense of romance.

"Sonya should have a fountain in her garden," Lissa remarked, watching the jets of water catapulted into the air within the large stone basin. "She would make it fit in beautifully. I could have one installed in her garden as a wedding gift!"

"You would have to give her a garden, first," I told her. Guardian housing, where she and Mikhail lived in our neighborhood now, wasn't that generous.

"Oh," she faltered. "Well, maybe I can give her a garden!"

"I'm sure that would be the best wedding present anyone could ever give her," Rose said.

"I'm so looking forward to the wedding," Lissa said with an excited glint in her eye. "And Sonya made you one of her bridesmaids! It's so exciting. You'll look gorgeous in the dress she chose, Rose! I can't wait to see you. And Sonya, of course."

Rose laughed. "Me too," she said. "I'm looking forward to seeing Sonya and Mikhail as a bridal couple. They'll be so happy."

We had lingered in the fountain square. People were passing us by in masses, most of them greeting Lissa with a nod or a smile. It was amazing how she had managed to make herself so respected and so amenable to the public at the same time. Everyone recognized her, everyone acknowledged her with some sign. She was a queen for the people like no other had been before.

"It's such a shame you have to be there on guardian duty, Dimitri," Lissa said. "You'll have to make some time to see Rose."

I didn't take part in Rose and Lissa' zeal about the upcoming wedding, and neither did Christian. That didn't mean I wasn't just as happy as they were for Sonya and Mikhail to tie the knot; I guess we just didn't get as excited about dresses and such.

"We're going to see her dress before the wedding," Lissa told Rose happily. "She agreed to show it to us as soon as it's shipped to her."

"She's bound to look stunning," Rose said enthusiastically.

"Jeez, calm down," Christian butted in, sounding slightly irritated. "It's just clothes."

Just as the girls broke into appalled objection, I noticed a movement to my right. I was leaning on the stone rim of the fountain with my right elbow; there was nothing but water to my right. Still, there had been something.

"Just because all you'll be wearing is a boring suit," Rose teased.

"You'll look good in it, you do, really," Lissa assured him, provoking an exasperated eye-roll that made it clear his own looks were not what concerned Christian with regard to the wedding.

Suddenly, the water lurched. It had been a calm little pool just a second ago; now it was a churning bowl of chaos. Screams erupted around us as the whole mass of water rose from its stone bed. As if it was a solid mass of gel, some sort of translucent jelly putty, the water soared into the air as like a compact object.

Rose reacted immediately. She pulled Lissa away from the basin, almost making her trip over her feet. Christian was stumbling away from the rim as well, his eyes fixed on the menacing cloud of water. The guardians closed in on Lissa, me included, even though we were absolutely powerless in the face of the elements.

The space around the fountain cleared within seconds. Everyone in the square, Moroi and dhampirs alike, retreated from the water in fear. In spite of the panicked cries and shouts, though, curiosity made them stay, brave the urge to run.

The water hung over the basing for only a heartbeat. Then, to make our greatest fears come true, the whole mass moved over the rim of the stone basin. Slowly, wobbling like a pudding, it neared the exact spot where we were surrounding the queen. Instantly, we dragged her further away from the pool. The water followed us, picking up speed as if it was getting used to floating in the air, adapting. Rose picked Lissa up, she would start to run to bring her to safety, but the water was faster. Like a giant fist, the water pushed Rose away and closed in on its target: Lissa.

Within seconds, she was encompassed by the swirling masses; we could still see her silhouette, fighting and thrashing. Shouts and war cries erupted from the guardians as we frantically tried to reach her, splashing into the water or pushing a hand towards her. But the water's surface repelled us, swirling harder and harder. The current was so strong we were flung backwards before we couldn't get anywhere near the queen. This thing could not be beaten by force; it could not be fought. With all our guardian skills, in the face of this torrent we were powerless. Completely and absolutely powerless.

Rose screamed. She charged the water again, trying to get a grip on Lissa to pull her out.

"She's going to drown," she yelled in panic. Christian stood watching the water, panicked alertness in his body, but motionless, wide-eyed and helpless.

"We need to find the water user! There's got to be a water user behind this!" I bellowed, trying to get the guardians' attention. Some cottoned on, swarming out to search the vicinity for the enemy.

Rose circled the water agitatedly. Lissa was enclosed in a prison of fluid, like a living and moving piece of amber, with her as the fossil. We watched as she fell to her knees, still trashing wildly with her arms, but to no avail. Would she die right in front of our eyes? With me, Rose, Christian and all of her guardians watching, helpless, just a few feet away and yet utterly unreachable?

"SHE CAN'T BREATHE!" Rose screamed, her voice wrought with desperate fear. In her flowing cocoon, Lissa's movements ceased. She collapsed to the ground, crushed by the masses of swirling fluid deathly water. Rose's body was so tensed she must be ready to snap. There was her best friend and charge suffocating in front of her eyes, and nothing she could do about it.

"No," she cried. "NO!"

Rose refused to look away from our dying queen. Her face was contorted in pain. It hurt me to see it; it hurt me even more than to see Lissa's figure slumped in defeat.

It was almost imperceptible at first: the water trembled. There was some kind of reaction that made it recoil ever so slightly. When I felt the warmth, I remembered Christian. Looking for him frantically, I saw him nearing the water. There was a determined look on his face; his hands were up in front of him, as if he had decided that he would just push the water away with his bare hands. My first impulse was to pull him away; who knew who the water user would attack next when they were finished with Lissa. But then I realized that he had managed to get closer to Lissa then the rest of us had. The water seemed to recede from him. His hands were still raised palms up against the water. His face was fierce, determined. The heat intensified; in a matter of seconds, it grew so intense that everyone else had to take a step back. Christian was nearing Lissa from the side. My heart almost stopped when I realized what he was doing: he was evaporating the water with his powers, turning it into steam and inch by inch, blazing a trail towards Lissa's still figure.

No – he couldn't do this! He would boil Lissa alive with the temperatures!

He could not. He must have a plan, he would never hurt Lissa, he would save her. He gradually inched closer to her, angling himself away from her; he was blowing the water off, keeping himself between her and the heat. It worked! It worked! There was Lissa showing up from under the water, lying dripping wet on the ground, Christian in front of her, shielding her, the water forming into a concave shell around him. He had succeeded in clearing the space around Lissa; but his fight wasn't over. The water he turned into steam doubled back on itself to rejoin the larger body. There must be several water users to counter Christian so easily.

I ran to where Rose was already by Lissa lying on the ground. Around us, guardians were still frantically running around the square, moving through the retreating crowd to find the Moroi attacker. The heat was almost unbearable. Christian had his feet firmly planted on the ground to breast the current of water crashing against steam. He stood only three feet from us, but almost hidden from sight in the middle of the misty vapor. His back was to us, but I could see the strain he was under from his tension in his body posture.

So this was what it looked like when fire user went up against water user. A glittering half dome arching over Christian's head all the way down to the ground. It was not floating in midair; it assaulted him while he held back the flow with nothing more but his inherent power and his empty, outstretched hands. I don't think living memory held an equal to this; the Moroi world had not seen a spectacle like this in centuries.

Rose was lifting Lissa up. She was alive, gasping and coughing, but barely conscious. More guardians arrived by her side at the same time as I did.

"Get her away!" I could barely hear Christian's shout; the clashing of fire and water produced a roar comparable to the crash of a waterfall.

We didn't hesitate. With the help of the others, Rose picked up the queen and they made for safety, their precious cargo held tight in their arms. I stayed behind. My charge was not in safety yet.

"What are you doing?" Christian shouted when he felt me taking a back to back stance with him.

"Staying with you."

"Go." Christian didn't have much breath to waste. I said nothing. I stayed. I knew that I had as much chance of accomplishing anything against our unseen magical attackers as a kitten would have against a wolf, but I stayed. He was my charge.

There was a commotion to one side of the square. I could only see shadows through the vapor haze, but I could hear shouts and a high pitched scream, and suddenly, the onslaught of the water reduced. Another commotion, shouts, screams. The vapor no longer returned to the main body. Blows sounded, strikes against something solid. I was drenched in spray and sweat to equal parts, scarcely less than Christian. Through the closeness of our fighting stance, I could hear his heavy breathing. The heat was intensifying to the point that I thought I was going to boil in my duster.

Then the massive amount of water running up against Christian's opposing force splashed to the ground, inanimate. What had been a moving monster, a force seemingly of nature, was seeping into the ground like the trickle made by an inadvertently spilled cup. Only this wasn't a trickle. Water sloshed around our legs, gallons of it drenching our pants and seeping into our shoes. It crept over the ground, seeking pores where it could disappear into the earth. The dome had vanished. Steam was still curling around us, though Christian was no longer attacking the water. The onslaught was over.

I turned to my charge. Christian was doubled over, hands resting on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He was gulping down air as desperately as if he had sprinted at full force for the length of a half marathon, which was probably the amount of energy he had just spent in this crazy battle of the elements. His black hair was plastered to his forehead, sweat pouring down his face in streams.

I placed a hand on his back and waited for him to recover, while I took in the situation outside of the magical battlefield.

Guardians were clumped in three humps around what I suspected were the Moroi culpable for this assault. Two seemed to be lying on the floor; one was struggling, judging by the scuffle still going on there. As I watched, one was picked up by a guardian and, apparently unconscious, carried away in the direction of the Court jail. I caught a glimpse of the one Moroi who was still giving a fight; it was a smallish woman, dull dark hair flying in disarray around her frantic face. Her pale blue eyes seemed too large for her face as she rolled them in fury or fear; which, I could not tell. I turned away when Christian straightened up, chest still heaving.

"Is Lissa safe?" he panted.

"Rose and the others got her away. I assume they took her to the palace. It's the safest there is."

My arm shot out to steady him as he swayed dangerously. That he was even still conscious was half a miracle. I did not know what knocked the two attacker Moroi out, but it might very well have been the exertion of magic use. I guessed it was only to be put down to his rigorous endurance training that skimmed the edge of foolishness that Christian was still on his feet after the daredevil feat that lay behind him.

I led him away from the fray towards palace housing and Lissa and Rose. Let the guardians on duty deal with securing the attackers and searching the area for more. We were a sight pathetic enough in our bedraggled state, clothes dripping and still steaming with heat, plowing our way through the gathered masses.

* * *

**Oh my, action chapters are so much harder to write than nice cozy bedroom chapters! I wrote and rewrote passages of this about a hundred times. How did I do? Tell me what you think! **


	19. Aftermath

**Hey everyone! It just turned out I have only one week to finish posting this story because I'll be leaving for a while. I really want to have everything posted by then, and I'm writing on the last chapters like crazy! Anyways, this is why I'll sometimes be posting two chapters at once from now on. Hope you enjoy!**

LISSA

By the time Dimitri dragged a dazed Christian into the room and onto a chair, I had gathered my senses enough for me to understand what was happening. All I remembered before was the sudden sense of being immersed in water, as if I had fallen into a deep pool, but swimming up was impossible. I was drowning, suffocating, and then there was black, and then I was gasping for air and coughing up water from my lungs, and then I got here and Rose leaned over me and things started to make sense again. I was dripping wet and shivering violently, so they stopped wrapping me into more and more blankets and stripped my drenched clothes off of me. Only Rose and Serena helped me with that – there were no other female guardians around. Someone called for a doctor and some people left, and that was when Dimitri and Christian came in, both almost as wet as me, Dimitri supporting Christian who was frighteningly pale and looked like he could barely keep on his feet. He was pushed into a chair, and calls not only for a doctor, but also for a feeder rang out. A doctor finally came, and a feeder came, and the doctor hovered over me for a few moments and the feeder was taken to Christian. Then the doctor left and the feeder, and gradually, the number of guardians in the room decreased until there was only Rose and Dimitri and Christian and me.

"Now that there are no more witnesses to the indecency, let's get you to lie down as well," Rose told a still pale Christian. Dimitri helped him stagger over to the bathroom, where he changed into dry clothes, and then he let himself be maneuvered beside me where I had been deposited on the bed. The indecency was arguably low, as he had simply changed from wet jeans to dry jeans and a wet shirt to a dry shirt and was still fully clothed, and they had used all the blankets to wrap me up in, so the other side of the bed was bare. He didn't seem to mind, but just dropped down on his back and rubbed his face tiredly.

"What the hell happened out there?" I croaked. I barely got the words out. My throat burned from breathing in water and coughing it back out again. My head hurt from I didn't know what. I tried to disentangle myself from the blankets to share with Christian, but Rose and Serena had wrapped me pretty tightly.

Rose pulled a chair over to sit next to me. I hoped that didn't turn into a habit – me in bed and her beside me. "I'd like to know that, too," she said.

Dimitri followed Rose's example and brought himself a chair. He had shed his duster and only wore jeans and a t-shirt now, but since the duster had protected him from wherever the water had come from, he was dry enough.

"Moroi water users," he said. "Three were captured. I don't know how many there were."

"Another attack?" I rasped.

"Yes, clearly," he said.

"So what happened?" I wished he was a more talkative person for the first time; speaking was really hard right now. "They made water come at me?"

"They covered you in water, apparently trying to make you drown in it. Christian managed to counter it, so he could free you. The assault stopped when the three Moroi were apprehended."

I looked down to Christian's worn out face. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Welcome," he slurred in a barely audible voice. I made more of an effort to struggle out of my blankets. Moving didn't feel good. I would rather have stayed still, but when I had finally wriggled free, I could have Christian under the covers, and I could stroke his face to wipe away all the wet strands of hair clinging to his forehead. His hand caught mine and squeezed it weakly.

"The doctor said you needed to stay in bed for today," Rose told me. Yes, I had heard him say this.

"Did anyone else get hurt?" I asked.

"No. The attack was only directed at you," Dimitri said in a quiet voice. I was immeasurably glad. There wouldn't be anyone dying from defending my life this time. I couldn't have taken this so soon after the previous attack. Only Christian was much the worse for wear due to the incident, and he wasn't hurt, as he and Rose and Dimitri had all assured me, but only tired out from magic use. He was beyond exhausted, though; he must have used a massive amount of magic to counter the water attack.

I looked over to him again. I was familiar with the feel of magical energy depletion – he would need a long sleep now. His face had regained some of his color after the feeding, and he had been able to walk by himself, but he was still pale and shaky.

"How did he do it?" I asked softly. Speaking quietly wasn't easy when your throat felt like sandpaper.

"He evaporated the water around you," Rose explained. "He was amazing. Without him, there would have been nothing we could have done for you, Lissa. You would have drowned."

I'd never heard Rose praise Christian so wholeheartedly before. To his loss, he did not witness this extraordinary moment, because he had finally fallen asleep by now.

Rose and Dimitri didn't leave this time. There were Moroi out there to get me; no way they could have left me in a room with only ten or so guardians in front of the door. I was grateful for their presence, though. I felt more secure knowing they'd look out for me when I crawled deeper under the covers and let sleep overcome me.

...

It went without saying that there was no going to college for me after this. Instead, I had an emergency meeting with the royal Council as soon as I was allowed to leave bed. Rose was with me, standing reassuringly close behind me as I faced the agitated Princes and Princesses gathered in our usual conference room.

"I knew something like this would happen," Prince Ivashkov told everyone who was listening for the tenth time. "There has been a reason why dabbling in offensive magic has been forbidden for centuries. This is what it instigates people to do."

"The assailant Moroi were not part of the group with permission to practice magic," Ariana Szelzky countered him reasonably.

"They could have watched. The fact remains that it can't be a coincidence that a serious magical attack occurs after magical attacks have been allowed for training purposes. The group has to stop immediately."

"Would you say it's a coincidence too that there have only been attacks on me after my election as and not before?" I told him impatiently. "This has not been the first attempt to take my life. It was only a matter of time before people realized I'm too well protected by guardians to attempt another physical attack. They had to resort to magic eventually."

"There haven't been any magical attacks for ages," Prince Drozdov said, apparently supporting Prince Ivashkovs cause but employing a much less aggressive tone. And that despite the fact that he actually had warned us that something like this could happen when Moroi fighting became a concept more familiar to Moroi ears, while I still had Prince Ivashkov's initial 'Moroi are just not made to fight' attitude in mind. "Moroi magic used for offensive causes used to be taboo. With it becoming a socially acceptable topic for talk, it was bound to become more known. It is not surprising that others started to emulate the idea of Moroi not being utterly helpless," Prince Drozdov finished.

"I agree. We should never have allowed the use of offensive magic in the first place," Prince Lazar raged. He was furious, battering the table with the flat of his hands. "We need to abolish the program this instant."

"That was not what I said," Prince Drozdov calmly retorted, surprising me. "There was talk of employing magical defense before. Also, you cannot say that because someone raised a topic, they are to blame for others abusing their ideas. The Moroi fighting program did not instigate this attack directly. What they do is unrelated to others' use of their powers."

"Oh, come on," Prince Lazar sneered, suddenly sounding very out of place with his lapse into colloquial language. "You can't say that this fighting group isn't showing people the ropes of how they could harness their powers for attack. They practice openly. Everyone could pass by and see how it's done. That hasn't been possible before."

"They would still need a lot of practice to use the kind of magic we have seen on the square," Lord Dashkov mused. "They have to have trained, too, and they would have to train in secret. I think that the kind of effort they must have put into this suggests that they did not merely see a move and decided to use it for attack. They might have gone through with this regardless of the Moroi fighting program."

"We also need to consider that without the Ozera boy's intervention, the queen would likely have died," Prince Drozdov observed. "The guardians are neither prepared nor do they have the means to counter a magical attack. Their only option would have been to find the attackers on time, which, it appears, they would not have."

"That would be _Lord_ Ozera," the Ozera Princess piped up, her only contribution so far to the debate.

"What we need to do is decide on a course of action for the immediate present," Prince Tarus argued. "Do we allow the program to continue while investigations on the attackers are in progress?"

A babble of voices rose up as they all answered his question at once. It was a question that we all agreed was essential to tackle right now; it came to the list of votes for the end of session. There was more to discuss: did we have to increase security on Court (insufficient guardian numbers quenched this debate before it even started); did we have to increase security around me (no, because as was said, there was nothing more guardians could have done better); did we have to reinforce entry checks on Moroi visiting Court (we voted no – Court was free for all, and entry checks couldn't detect evil schemes anyways). When we reached the time to vote on the Moroi fighting program, only three people stood when I asked who was in favor of continuing the program: Drozdov, Dashkov, and Ozera. Eveline Ozera seemed to regret her decision the moment she realized how little support her side had. Everyone else voted in favor of suspending the program until investigations had progressed so far as to inform us about the origin and incentive of the Moroi attackers. Even Ariana and the Badica Princess stood; Ariana regretfully told me that she did not want to abolish the program, but that she thought it would spare them from accusations if we paused it now and resumed it when things were cleared up.

Later, when I discussed the Council meeting with Dimitri and Rose, something else came to my mind.

"This will not help the progress on the dhampir age decree," I groaned. We had gathered in my redecorated little reception room, which I considered to be something of a living room out of my living quarters.

"We discussed increasing guardian presence on Court premises. This isn't possible, because there simply aren't any more guardians to do it, but it will once again raise the argument that we need more guardians," I explained.

"At least, if you don't get it done after the first batch of seventeen-year-olds arrives, you can put them all on Court patrol duty," Rose suggested. "It will bore them to death, but at least that's a figurative death rather than the one they'd get on assigned Moroi protection duty."

Thankfully, there wouldn't be any sixteen-year-olds yet, because the transition in school years for them had to be gradual. Syllabuses had to be adjusted so that the essentials were covered earlier rather than in the final two years. The first class of sixteen year old guardians would arrive the summer after the next, and with one more year in between to revoke the stupid law, hopefully they would never arrive.

I sighed. "I guess you didn't exactly get a peaceful homecoming, Dimitri." He gave me a smile.

"Well," he said, "Things have always been exiting where there is a young queen with enemies and battles for her throne." He made it sound as if I was the protagonist of a fairy tale. Maybe the bookish side of him wasn't entirely limited to western novels after all…

"And we get to stay a day longer, if you want to see the bright side," Rose offered.

Christian came in then. He strolled over to us and plunked down on the loveseat next to me.

"How did it go?" I asked.

"Well, we're not happy, of course," he said. "But what can we do?" He'd been with the Moroi fighting team, telling them the bad news.

"It's a shame," Rose said angrily. "You got so far! You're an asset, not a danger. You should have made that clear yesterday."

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe they're right in stopping us. Maybe they did get the idea for the attack from us."

"But you can't stop learning how to defend yourselves just because some idiot abused the idea!" Rose ranted. "It's still a better solution to guarantee Moroi safety in the long run."

"Rose is right," Dimitri agreed. "There may be a risk that people misuse their power, but what with Strigoi numbers steadily on the climb, I see no other way to keep the Moroi safe. Making the dhampirs graduate early is certainly not it."

"People have the capacity to abuse everything," I added. "There's hardly a way to avoid it."

"Well," Christian said. "There's nothing we can do about it now anyway. We'll continue the combat training, but the magic training is on hold. We've got to wait for this mess to be sorted out."

He was right, of course. And it was up to me to see to it that it was sorted out. Again.


	20. The Consequence of Recklessness

DIMITRI

Try living with a charge that is not only bored out of his mind with what he does over the day and frustrated with what he can't do, but also doesn't really appreciate the intimacy and closeness of a guardian following him around wherever he goes.

Or, to say it in Rose's words: Christian was pissed.

She had not been lying when she told me he was getting involved in public legislative affairs. He went to open debates on topics of interest, contributed and even submitted proposals of his own when he was of the opinion that work on a certain subject was headed in a particularly stupid direction. Aside from this, he had the parts of his training group that did not entail magic, combat classes held by me again (my substitutes had indeed been reluctant to hand the classes over to me; we had agreed to teach in teams). He still had too much free time on his hands, and being the active person he was, went mad trying to find something to fill it with.

To make matters worse – in his view - , I had decided to be his full-time guardian even within the safety of the Court wards, if only for a while. After the public display of fire power he had given in the fountain square, I was fairly sure that there must be people out there who were not too happy with him right now. The three captured Moroi attackers might have had more accomplices, and they might be trying to get rid of the obstacle that had stood between them and their target. Additionally, there might be other Moroi who put down the attack on their beloved queen to the group who had started to practice offensive magic in the first place, and Christian as their informal leader was the prime target for those.

This was why I was now shadowing his steps from the gym from morning practice to the part of the palace where public debates were held. He shot me an irritated look as I joined his side at the exit.

"Really? Again? I thought you were only doing that for a day or two." It had been a few weeks now.

"Get used to it. I'm your guardian," I said simply.

Really, I didn't know what bothered him so much. If this was how he would react to my presence when one day he wouldn't be living at Court and have me around 24/7, we would have to put some serious effort into working out the kinks in our relationship.

He kept his silence as he trudged up to the palace and into the hall the debate was held. I joined the usual contingent of guardians assigned to any gathering of more than fifty Moroi – which were not many – and took position on the wall on a spot where I had a good view on Christian sitting in one of the rear benches.

It was a public debate on the rank and status of royal Moroi in comparison to non-royals that Christian had taken an interest in. Not surprisingly, the room was full on non-royals; he was one of the few exceptions. As a result of this lack of interest on the part of royalty, the proposal had little hope of achieving anything fast, but that was exactly the point of today's debate.

There was not even one Council member that had deemed this session to be worth their attendance. The discussion was headed by an administrative clerk whose task was nothing more than to see to it that the crowd remain quiet and the order of speakers was upheld.

As the debate wore on, I could see the impatience on Christian's face become more and more obvious. Apparently, he did not see the point of repeating one and the same argument over and over again when everybody was already on the same side on this. I wondered what how much his patience could endure when it was royals who took the speaker's stand, not non-royals whom I knew he regarded as halfway reasonable people.

He did not speak himself, today. I had seen him give a little talk on one or two occasions, but his habit of expressing his irritation with others' views through his exasperated tone did not make him a particularly instigating speaker. He knew this, and usually confined himself to listening and handing in written statements about his view. What he had to say made sense, and there were usually a few people who expressed their approval when his statements were read.

Regardless of the importance the debates' topics he attended, he did clearly not enjoy them. He left the room in a brooding mood, me close to his heels.

"This will never progress if they go at it the way royals go at it," he grumbled. "They're trying to get rid of the system by complying to the system."

"What do you suggest?" I asked. "Mutiny?"

He sighed. "Sometimes I think nothing short of mutiny will ever change anything."

"Then why are you sitting this through?"

He gave me no answer. Instead, he sighed again, and then blurted: "Let's get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, out of Court. Anywhere. We could go present shopping for Mikhail and Sonya. Do you have a present for them? I heard wedding presents are really important."

"Um… I don't." In truth, I had largely forgotten that a present was required. While the wedding featured prominently in conversations when Lissa and Rose were with us, the matter of my own involvement had not come up for a while.

"Good. Let's go then."

Without further circumstances, he turned around and headed towards the garage where his car was parked, his folder with the debate notes still tucked under his elbow. The car. I hadn't seen it yet, because Christian had gone nowhere we needed to drive recently.

It turned out to be a somewhat dilapidated Volkswagen Polo that must have seen the 90s. The dark red, almost black paint job must have been done recently, though, and the interior looked decent. I had to fold my legs a little, but no more than I had to in any average-sized car. When Christian pulled out of the parking garage and headed towards the guarded Court exit driveway, the motor tuckered along monotonously, but the car ran smoothly.

"I went for shabby, but functioning," Christian grinned happily as we pulled into the highway. "I don't want it to break down every other drive, just to shock people a little."

"Sensible," I commented.

It was the middle of the night, us being on a Court schedule, but there was a mall about an hour's drive away that was open all through the night. It must be all the Moroi customers from Court that kept its nightly business going, because other than the occasional night owl, there were not many humans around.

Christian and I looked at kitchenware listlessly, but decided that that was way too boring a present for anyone. In the end, he went for a set of gardening tools that went with Lissa's garden, and I decided to coordinate with Rose, mostly to have a reason to postpone the decision.

He let me drive on the way back, which I gladly did. While we were rolling along the highway in light traffic and comfortable silence, I decided to breach the matter of his guardian reluctance right now when he couldn't escape.

"Why do you not want me following you around?" was my not-so-subtle way of introducing the topic. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Because it's Court and I'm safe?"

"So you would be okay with it outside of Court?"

"I was okay with it just now, wasn't I?"

"I don't know."

He gave a groan of frustration. "It's just that I never thought I'd ever have a guardian. I need to get used to it."

"Most Moroi who never thought they would get a guardian are overjoyed when they get one," I said dryly.

"Most Moroi didn't spend their adolescence in an attic trying to avoid people," he deadpanned.

"So this is it? You don't want the company?"

"I don't mind your company. It just feels weird to have someone watching my every move."

"So you feel watched."

"I _am_ watched."

"True."

"I'm sorry. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate what you're doing. As I said, I need to get used to it."

"Would you rather face a Strigoi on your own?"

"I didn't say that!"

"It's a serious question. Charge risk-taking assessment. Would you want to face a Strigoi on your own?"

"Certainly not."

"Good. Then deal with having me."

He grumbled something to the effect that he had no other choice than to deal with it, when suddenly, a flash of motion caught my eye. We had passed by it so fast it was hard to make out anything in the darkness, but for a moment, I thought I saw a human figure crossing the road at an impossible speed.

"What was that?" Christian had noticed it, too.

"I… " I hesitated. "Nothing."

"It was a Strigoi," he said with conviction.

"We're not going to hunt it," I countered immediately.

"What? Why not?" Christian exclaimed.

"Because I'm your guardian, and as such I'm supposed to keep you away from dangerous situations and not plunge you into them!"

"Are you kidding me? I spent the last months doing nothing but learning how to deal with these situations!"

"So that you could defend yourself it the situation finds you, not so you can go seek them out."

"Dimitri," he said, trying to stay calm. "There is at least one Strigoi fairly close to Court. They don't usually come here. Don't we have to look into this?"

I didn't know what to say; he was right in saying that Strigoi this close to Court needed to be removed, but I knew that he was only saying this so as to convince me to go on the hunt with him.

"I did learn how to defend myself after all," he continued. "Why don't we check this out? You stake the bastards and we're out of there. Better than to have Strigoi presence in Court vicinity and do nothing about it, right? If we don't follow them now, the guardians will have no way of finding them again."

I couldn't deny his reasoning. Ever since the Strigoi attacks on Moroi domiciles with human help, we knew that wards did not make a place impregnable. Wards could fail, as we had both seen in the St. Vladimir's attack.

Christian had the decency not to whoop or anything as I turned the car and sped back to where we had seen the Strigoi. I was slowing down as we passed the spot he had disappeared. Christian was looking out for a sight in the forested shoulder of the road.

"There's a little driveway," he said. "That must be it."

Hoping I was doing the right thing, I pulled the Volkswagen into the graveled road and stopped it a few feet off the road.

"Stay in the car," I told Christian. "I'm going to check out the ... what are you… Christian!"

Of course he wouldn't listen to me. He had opened the passenger door and was getting out of the car. I mentally slapped myself as I quickly unbuckled and followed him, swearing under my breath. This was a bad idea.

"What do you expect me to do?" he said, entirely unimpressed by me and already walking a few steps into the dark gravel road. "Stay in the car? How am I any safer in there on my own?"

"Fine," I grunted. "But no more risk than necessary. You're staying close to me."

"No problem with that," he said.

Slowly, we inched our way down the path. The large trees on either side of us made it even darker than on the open road. Stake in hand, I turned my head steadily from side to side to let nothing escape me. My ears were listening for the smallest sound that could betray the presence of a living thing. Or rather, an undead thing.

I saw no sign that anything or anyone had used this road recently. It must have been a ranger's road, I presumed, used only every now and then when someone had business to do in these parts of the Pennsylvanian forests.

We had followed the gravel road for about half a mile when a smallish clearing came into view. On it stood a little wooden hut in a state of considerable decay.

I gave Christian a head signal towards the hut. We crept towards it side by side, making as little noise as possible. With Strigoi hearing, they would hear us in a one-mile radius, probably, but better safe than sorry. I signaled Christian to stop a few feet from the derelict door. Gripping my stake securely, I took the last steps in a run and threw the wooden door not only open, but right out of its hinges with a well-placed kick.

I entered the hut with a jump; nothing happened. It was empty. Scanning around it quickly, I searched for any signs that there had been on occupant lately. Upon finding nothing in the single room, I exited the without wasting any time so as not to leave Christian unprotected a second longer than necessary.

That was already too late.

Christian stood where I'd left him, in the middle of the clearing not ten feet from me. He was facing me; behind him, a Strigoi was charging him in a run so noiseless Christian would never know what hit him. In the half-second it took me to break into a run, pictures of my charge lying on the ground with his blood soaking the dry leaves appeared behind my eyes. My expression must have given Christian enough of a clue, though; while I was crossing the distance between us in a race, he swiveled around, and in an instant, the approaching Strigoi was wreathed in flames. The thing stopped, patting itself down; I raced past Christian and plunged my stake in the distracted monster's heart in mid-stride.

It was the sudden illumination to my right that alerted me to a second Strigoi; he was a smoldering heap on the floor too soon for me to intervene, but there were three more, coming as us at the same time.

I think this was the moment that I started to really appreciate the full scope of what Moroi working their magic alongside the guardians could accomplish. It was almost too easy to deal with the three Strigoi. Christian kept two at bay, lighting fires in their way so they could not approach us. The third charged me, but when he was almost at me, the tiniest flick of a flame made him turn his head. This was all the distraction that I needed; I pierced him with my stake cleanly through the heart. The second one came free of the fire and had me upon him so quickly he had no time to realize the fire was gone before I made an end of him. The third proved a little more of a struggle; he had recovered sufficiently enough to comprehend that he needed to ignore the fire and attack us if he wanted to survive. He tried, but the flames constantly lightning up around him finally managed to distract him. My stake did the rest.

Christian and I stood in the middle of the carnage of five dead Strigoi, and surveyed the remains of our battle.

"Well," Christian said. The attack didn't seem to have put him out of balance in the least. "That was easy."

"Don't ever say that," I hissed. We were still in hostile territory. I had to get him out of here this instant. "Let's go."

We turned around, back towards the gravel road we had come. My guardian-trained senses still analyzed every noise that came from the nightly forest, my head turning around to keep the whole clearing in view. Just as we reached the point where the clearing narrowed into the path, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. I jumped around, ready to take on another Strigoi. But this one did not approach; he was standing at the edge of the clearing, staying put. With a voice that sounded as dry and hard as the eternally frozen water of a glacier, he intoned: "Did you think we were all so stupid as to let your little fire user get the best of us?"

Within a heartbeat, I understood – and reacted. I was only two steps away from Christian. I crossed them in one powerful leap, reached out to grab him, to pull him down and protect him with my body from the gun that I knew the Strigoi was a millisecond away from firing.

The shot that rang was out so deafening that the sound of our collision with the ground was drowned out by it. Against my better knowledge, I was not hit. I had also not buried Christian under me, as I had intended, but rather had ended up sprawled on the ground next to him. This was wrong, since I had calculated my jump to bring me directly in front of the line of fire; I should have taken the hit, but I didn't. Without any time to spare what that might mean for Christian, I leapt to my feet and charged the Strigoi with the gun. He aimed at me, but this time, I was prepared. I threw myself sharply to the left and the shot went wide. Comprehension started to dawn on the face of my enemy: we were not so easy to take out after all. Fire weapons were not a Strigoi's preferred manner of fighting, seeing as they were deadly enough without resorting to arms. Also, strength and speed did not automatically make you a good shot. If this one had been human before, he might never have had weapon's training. He discarded the gun and went up against me in hand-to-hand combat. He was old and strong, and his years had given him ample opportunity to improve his fighting technique, as I could see for myself after the first exchange of blows. We were evenly matched. We circled each other, looking for an opening in our opponent; I kept my senses alert to detect the presence of even more Strigoi; where there were six, there could be more. He engaged me in a series of blows, trying to get his hands on my neck, which he could break in the blink of an eye. This meant that he would often leave his chest unprotected, reaching out for me but not reaching far enough. I feinted to his right, danced closer, pretending to strike, then ducked down as his hands came forward towards my throat. Shoving my stake upward, I put my whole weight into the strike, and the silver went through his heart. He slumped to the ground, dead.

I did not stop to enjoy my victory. The moment my stake was free from the Strigoi's flesh, I turned around and raced back to where I had left Christian.

He was still on the ground, trying to get up but not managing more than a crouch.

"I tried to help you, but you were too far away," he said, raising his head at my approach. His voice sounded strained.

I crouched next to him and tried to get a good look at his body. Roughly, I gripped his shoulders and pushed him down to lie on his back. Blood was invisible on his black shirt, but the hand he pressed to his waist revealed the location of the wound: he'd been shot in the left side, a few inches above the hip. Without knowing the trajectory of the shot, I could not estimate how deep the bullet had penetrated. From the front, it would be little more than a graze; from the side, it would be lethal.

"It's not that bad," Christian said. He was struggling to lift his head to look at me. "It won't kill me, so don't put the Russian-on-revenge-trip mode on just jet."

I didn't know. Evidently, he wasn't injured badly enough not to have some wisecrack in store, so that was a good sign. What I did know was that we had to leave this forest, and that we were badly in need of a hospital.

"Come on, get up," I said. I tried to be gentle as I heaved him to his feet; he doubled over when I pulled him up, but straightened with an effort. With his arm over my shoulder to support him, we made our way slowly towards the car. His breath came in labored and irregular gasps that made me suspect he was trying to bite back yelps of pain.

We had gone the way to the clearing in a keyed-up stealth; the way back was a noisy hustle. We no longer cared who heard us; the gunshots had called out our presence to anything with ears in the vicinity, anyway. What I wanted now was speed, but that was hardly possible with Christian barely able to lift his legs. If there were Strigoi attacking us now, I would have to abandon him on the ground before I could battle.

After a painstakingly slow march, we finally reached the car. I opened the passenger's side and helped Christian get inside. His face was contorted with pain as he leaned his head back on the headrest. I reached across him to fasten his seatbelt buckle, then crossed over to the driver's side in a leap and got in. Before I started the car, I shrugged out of my duster and removed the thin long-sleeved shirt I wore over a t-shirt. Scrunching it into a ball, I handed it to Christian.

"Put this on the wound and keep pressure on it. I can't give you a compression bandage on in place like this, so you have to stop the bleeding yourself, okay?"

"Okay," he murmured his response.

I paused a moment to take him in. The wound, however deep it might be, was bleeding profusely. He took the balled-up shirt from me and obediently applied pressure. He was trying to calm his breath, closing his eyes and leaning back into the seat. He was pale; a thin sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead.

I turned the key in the ignition and the motor roared to life. We drove out of the disastrous gravel road and into the highway. Thankfully, there was still little traffic, and I drove the tiny car's motor to its limits. Its limits were not as high as I would have liked in a case like this, though.

"For next time, we will get you a faster car," I growled.

"You're just disappointed you're missing the excuse to have a race, aren't you?" Christian mumbled through clenched teeth.

"No, where would be the fun with no other cars on the road? I just want more leg room" I said. If he was still joking in the state he was in, maybe he needed the banter to feel more at ease.

The remaining drive to Court, where the nearest hospital was, should have been a little less than an hour. Since even the little Volkswagen was capable of speeds that exceeded the speed limit, we should need no longer than half an hour at the rate I was speeding along the highway right now. It still felt excruciatingly slow as I kept shooting sideways glances at Christian. He was pressed against his seat, his back rigid and tense. His teeth were clenched so tightly I could see the muscles in his jaw bulging. A few times, I saw him screw his eyes shut and was sure he had to stifle a groan. All the same, he dutifully kept one hand pressing against the wound. The other was tightly clutching the edge of his seat.

Without knowing the exact extend of damage done by the bullet, I thought I could rule out a harmless graze.

We had lapsed into a tense silence, only interrupted by his more and more labored breathing.

"How are you holding up?" I asked after a while, just to have something to say.

"I'll be okay," he answered weakly. His cramped posture had loosened gradually; he was slumping in his seat. I should have put his seat into recline so he could lie, I scolded myself.

"Keep pressing on it," I told him. He mumbled a response.

I pushed the pedal to the floor, even though the car was already going all out. If he was falling unconscious now, he would lose a lot of blood; I couldn't stop the bleeding while driving. When his hand holding the shirt slacked a few minutes away from Court entrance, I reached over to shake his shoulder, addressing him in a loud voice. His head rolled a little; his breathing had become fast and very shallow. He was still conscious, but dazed and barely responsive. I pushed his hand down on the wound again, making a cry of pain escape him.

After this, I kept up an incessant stream of talk, trying to elicit a response from him to keep him awake. He did his best, mumbling his reaction, but I could see he was slipping away.

I stepped on the break when the control stations on either side of the road into Court came into view, coming to a halt in front of the guardian's booth with my window rolled down already. The guardian on duty leaned out, alarmed by me speedy arrival.

"I have an injured Moroi here," I wasted no time in saying. "I need to get to the hospital fast."

The guardian took one look at Christian and gestured for me to pass. "I'll inform the staff," he called after me.

With another glace at my half-conscious charge, I continued down the smaller Court roads to the Court infirmary. These roads weren't used much; they wound around the back of the buildings so as not to disturb the pedestrians. The emergency unit was accessible form the back, too; figures in the bright red and white of first-aiders awaited us in front of the building. As soon as I stopped the car, they were swarming out to us. Someone opened the passenger door; immediately, the bustling activity of a professional emergency team permeated the atmosphere.

I jumped out of the car and was by his side again before they could touch him.

"Please stand back so we can care for the patient, Guardian Belikov," a white-clad figure said calmly. Despite their quickness, there was no rush or panic to the emergency team's movement. They had their own kind of efficiency that was similar in a way to the guardians' way of work.

I reluctantly ceded my spot and let them set to work. A nurse took me aside to ask me some questions: Were there any other wounds but the obvious one? How much time had passed since the injury happened? Had Christian fallen unconscious at any time? I answered them dutifully while I watched the first-aiders secure Christian on a stretcher, treating the bleeding and addressing questions to him in an attempt to assess his condition. His answers, when he gave any, were slurred and barely intelligible.

I caught a last glimpse of his too-pale haggard face before they wheeled him in the infirmary and the doors closed behind them all.


	21. Math to Madness

LISSA

For the life of me, I could not understand how Rose could take exams so lightly. I knew she wasn't interested in college education as much as I was. But I also knew what depended on her passing those exams. Especially in light of how much Hans was pressuring her to do well, I just couldn't comprehend how she could honestly suggest we go to the ice cream place half an hour before our math final.

"It's like a study break," she insisted. "It's meant to increase your concentration afterwards. Sugar is good for the brain."

"All the sugar in the world won't help you if you don't actually study around the study break," I told her without looking up from my open book. I had to use these last thirty minutes. I felt that I hadn't studied half the stuff we'd covered in class sufficiently.

"Jeez. You're running the government of a race of vampires living in secret all over the world and you're doing it hands down - and then it's exam week. And Lissa has met her doom."

"Just shut up and let me study!"

The door to our classroom opened already – had I misread my watch? No, still twenty minutes to go. Concentration. Now. This chapter I needed to go over again. I buried my nose in the book, trying to do as much last-minute revision as possible. Twenty minutes later, the door opened again.

"Okay, all books away, please," the professor said before letting us enter the room. "You'll find the exam paper on your desks. You have one hour from now. Start."

I bent over the paper, pen in hand. The first few problems were easy. Just some blow-off stuff to get points if you knew nothing else. Then there was a problem that needed a somewhat lengthy calculation, but I could deal with that. The next one…

Rose was poring over her exam two desks to my right. To my relief, she was scribbling busily, so she had to have an idea about how to answer some of the problems. I turned back to my own, crossing off the assignments one by one. A small fit of panic hit me when I started on the last problem. It was a tricky one, I needed to draw a graph in order to find out the answer – would the remaining time be enough? I moved my pen over the paper furiously, trying to make the most of the time I had left. When I had finished, I allowed myself a deep breath, and checked my watch.

I still had fifteen minutes to go.

People around me were still bent over their desks, occasionally looking up with concentrated looks on their face or desperately looking for a clue to the answer. Rose had stopped scribbling, too, but she was still staring at her paper intently.

What had happened? Had I missed a question? I went over my exam again, starting at the beginning and working my way down to the last task, but I could find nothing that I hadn't done yet. I was about to start another check when the Professor called: "The hour is over. Please put your pens on the tables and turn your paper face down. The student aids will collect them."

I shot another desperate glance at my answers before turning the paper over. What had I missed? I was still poring over this when we left the classroom and Rose joined me again.

"How did it go?" she asked. "I think I did okay."

"I don't know… I think I missed something," I told her miserably.

"Why is that?"

"I was done too quickly, there must have been a task that I overlooked."

"Or maybe you're just twice as clever as the average freshman and finished the problems in half the time we did. Sounds way more likely to me." Rose was checking her phone and frowned at the display.

"I have three missed calls from Dimitri. It must be something important, or he would have waited for me to all him back," she mused.

"Call him," I said.

She dialed his number as we moved with everyone else out of the science building. After just a few seconds, Rose said: "Comrade. What's up?"

I could only hear her end of the conversation; my Moroi senses might have been able to make out Dimitri's words in a quiet surrounding, but the other students who had just taken the exam with us were babbling loudly, comparing results or commiserating.

"Yes, of course," Rose said, a confused look sneaking into her eyes.

"Yes," she said again, then she turned to me. "He wants to talk to you."

I shot her a wondering glance as I took the phone and put it to my ear. "Dimitri. How are you?"

"Your majesty. I'm well, thank you… " He was as calm as ever, but I thought I detected a slight breathlessness in his voice.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well… there has been an incident. An accident, actually." His fumbling had me worried.

"What happened?" I exclaimed, willing him to talk faster.

"Christian and I encountered some Strigoi. Lord Ozera, I mean. I mean, Christian…"

"Are you both okay?"

"He's… we defeated the Strigoi, but one of them had a gun. Christian took a shot, but he'll be alright. I mean he's not now, but he'll be…"

"Dimitri. Just tell me! Are _you_ okay?" I asked him sternly. Dimitri was such a composed person that his uncharacteristic absent-mindedness made me worry about him as well, but he really needed to pull it together now because I had to know about Christian!

"Yes, I wasn't injured."

"How is Christian?" Rose was watching me with worry in her eyes now.

"He's in the Court infirmary. He's been through surgery to remove the bullet, and they said all went well. I haven't seen him yet, but they say he's going to be okay."

"Okay. Don't hang up, Dimitri, I'm giving you back to Rose. We'll see you in two hours max."

I handed the phone back to Rose and signaled to Mitch, who was substituting for Serena when she was off duty.

"We need to go to Court, now," I told him when he was close enough. "Call the car, please. We won't stop at the apartment, we're going straight to Court from here."

Mitch started to protest when Rose caught up with me. She had ended the call and looked apprehensive. I brushed all of Mitch's security concerns away – we would have to make the drive without the usual troops of guardians tailing us in other cars. He and Rose talked safety all the way to the car, but once we were in, there was nothing left to do but get going, and drive to Court immediately.

Rose shot me a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Of course. I'm not the one hurt. How is Dimitri? He sounded really off."

"I think seeing another charge of his injured shook him more that he wants to admit. Losing his first charge and friend has left a scar on him," Rose said quietly.

"Did he say anything more about what they did to meet Strigoi?" I asked.

"Something about a road in the forest. I don't know," Rose said. "He said Christian would be alright. You don't need to worry. Too much," she qualified as an afterthought.

"Yeah, he said that to me, too."

"So, are you okay?"

"Yes, I told you!" I snapped.

But it was only now that I had nothing more to do but sit and wait that the heavy, icy lump that had settled in my stomach the moment the words 'Christian' and 'shot' had been mentioned in the same sentence started to develop its impact on me. No matter how often Dimitri told us that Christian would be okay, he hadn't seemed too sure of it himself, and the sound of his muddled explanation was enough to make my stomach clench up in a ball and punch me from the inside.

The rest of the drive went by in silence. I tried to empty my mind of all the catastrophic images that appeared unbidden before my inner eye. Concentrate. Stay calm. Only panic when there is reason to panic. He'll be alright. At one point, Rose took my hand comfortingly, even though I had made my best effort to keep a composed exterior. She didn't need a bond to know how I was feeling now. Also, I knew she her feelings weren't very different. She and Christian might not always let it on, but they had become close friends, and she was sharing much of my anxiety. She was worrying about him, too.

Her phone rang just as the booths at the entrance to Court came into view.

"Yes," she answered it. "No, we'll be there in a minute. Okay." She hung up. "Dimitri says he's been summoned to guardian headquarters to have a talk with Hans. He doesn't want to leave Christian alone, but I said it's okay, we're almost there. He's in room 305," Rose explained. I nodded in response.

I had the car stop in front of the palace as usual, so as not to draw unnecessary attention. It was only a short walk to the Court hospital, anyway. I set into a crisp walk, something I would do when I was cold and was warming up by walking. At the reception desk, I just nodded at the nurse sitting behind it, not wasting any time on courtesies. I took the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator, and turned into the corridor labeled 'rooms 300 to 312', Rose trailing behind me. Door number 305 was open so the nurses could see what was going on inside. I slowed down and entered the room quietly.

There was only one bed in the room, in which Christian was lying. He was sleeping, or maybe he hadn't regained consciousness after surgery yet. He looked really pale in the white hospital-issued bed linen; they had even put him into one of these weird hospital gowns. The white fabric with blue flowers on it was so unlike anything he would wear that I felt an irritated frown cross my face at the thought of someone forcing him into this.

There was a single chair under a tiny table; I pulled it closer to the bed and sat down. On Christian's left side, tubes were snaking out of his sleeve and into a steadily dripping IV bag; I took his right hand in both of mine and took to watching his sleeping face waiting for him to wake up.

...

Nurses bustled in and out of the room in regular intervals to check on him. I asked them about his injury, and they promised me he'd be alright, saying that the surgery went well and the wound wasn't all that dangerous. After that, they all had a reassuring smile for me whenever they dropped in to take a look at his vitals.

Rose had just left to look for Dimitri, when Christian finally began to stir. Blinking, he half-opened his eyes and smiled when his gaze fell on me. I was still keeping his hand firmly enclosed in mine, pressed to my cheek; I felt him returning a gentle squeeze.

"Hey," he whispered. His voice was raspy. "Is it Friday?"

"Silly," I whispered back. "Does it have to be Friday for me to come visit my injured boyfriend?"

His smile widened, and so did mine. I propped my elbows up on the bed to lean down closer to him, and gently brushed the hair out of his face. My other hand never let go of his.

Christian frowned dazedly. "Where's Dimitri?" He murmured. "Is he alright?"

"Rose is looking for him. He said he was going to see Hans. I'm sure he's okay."

I guess whatever sedatives or painkillers they must have given him made him a little dopey, because it took him a while to find his words. "Hans? Is he in trouble?"

"I don't know. But that's nothing for you to worry about now."

He looked a little unconvinced, but his eyelids had become very heavy again, and I kissed him to make him forget whatever would keep him from sleep.

He drifted in and out of consciousness for the next hour or so as the anesthetics wore off. Rose and Dimitri came back, but I told them to go home and go to bed. Rose was officially off-duty now anyway, and Dimitri looked like he had been through enough today, too. Christian told me the same thing in one of his more lucid moments, but I stayed, anyway. I put my head down beside his and must have drifted off, too, because suddenly, I opened my eyes to pale moonlight flooding in through the open blinds on the window. There was a busy hustle and bustle in the hospital corridor in front of the still-open door. I must be early vampire morning.

I was reluctant to remove my head from the side of the bed. Moving would probably make me aware of the stiffness a night spent on a chair would undoubtedly have caused. But when I felt a soft stirring in my hair, I lifted my head off my arms and found myself face to face with Christian, who had turned his head towards me and was smiling at my half-awake confusion.

"Did you stay here all night?" he asked softly. He raised his hand to caress my cheek, putting it just where I had held it half the night.

" 'f course," I slurred, my voice not yet up to its duties yet. I rested my chin on my arms, so that I was level with him on the bed. He started tidying up my hair that was all over the place from the night, tucking it behind my ears and brushing it out of my eyes and face.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him drowsily.

"I'm okay. The nurse was just here and told me I was, so don't question me."

"Smart ass," I told him, but he silenced me by gently pressing his lips on mine. It was a funny kiss because our heads were at right angles to each other, but it still felt reassuringly familiar. We broke apart at the sound of a polite knock on the frame of the open door.

"Well, you look better," Rose greeted us cheerfully. Dimitri was standing behind her, impeccably guardian-stiff as usual but still looking slightly awkward.

"Hey Rose," Christian said. I only noticed now that he wasn't half-whispering that his voice lacked strength a little. "Dimitri," he added upon seeing the tall dhampir lingering in the door. "You alright?"

"Yes," Dimitri said tersely. Rose strolled over to the windowsill and hopped up to sit on it, but Dimitri remained at the door, standing.

"I'm sorry," Christian told him guiltily.

"Is this the point where you tell me what foolishness it was you embarked on yesterday?" I asked them both accusingly. To be attacked by Strigoi, they had to have left Court for sure, and strayed off the beaten track to boot.

"It's my fault, I'm sorry," Christian said immediately. "I convinced Dimitri to go Strigoi hunting. We saw one running across the highway. It was stupid, but how could we have known the bastards get themselves guns, nowadays?"

"Um, you could have known because everyone else seems to get them recently. Appears good old hand-to-hand combat is getting out of style," Rose kindly informed him.

"She has a point there," I remarked in a scolding tone. He was an idiot to drag Dimitri into a Strigoi situation, gun or no gun.

He flopped his hands on the bed frustratedly. "It made sense then. Just not so much now…"

"There wouldn't have been any trouble if not for the gun. We already finished five, and the sixth one fired at Christian before we could do anything," Dimitri explained in a detached voice.

"The sixth!" Rose exclaimed. "Where did you guy go to run into so many Strigoi?"

"About forty-five minutes' drive from Court," Dimitri said.

"See!" Christian said. "That's why it made sense to pursue them!"

"But not you, thickhead," Rose retorted. "The guardians should have gone back there to check it out!"

"Then the guardians would have been shot!" Christian said hotly. I put a calming hand on his shoulder. "Would that be any better?"

"I don't think he would have shot a gun at a guardian," Dimitri remarked pensively. "Strigoi usually think they exceed any guardian in strength and battle skills, they're overconfident in that respect. But I think they realized that they could not get close enough to a Moroi fire user to exert their advantage. So this Strigoi decided to take you out from afar and then subdue me by hand."

"Great," Christian groaned. "Does that mean I have to expect I'll be met with gun fire every time I run into a Strigoi?"

"Hopefully not," I said, alarmed. "They don't all realize Moroi might be a threat yet, do they?"

"Well, hopefully not," Dimitri repeated me.

I took a closer look at him. Dimitri had always been difficult to read; he took great care to hide his emotions from anyone. But something must be off. I wondered if Hans had given him a hard time over having allowed his Moroi to come to harm under his surveillance. I hadn't had the opportunity to ask him what his summons to guardian headquarters had been about; maybe they had just wanted information on the Strigoi close to Court, but to be honest, that was fairly unlikely.

"What were they doing there, anyway?" Rose asked, a frown on her face. "These areas are closely watched, they had little chance of going unnoticed for any length of time."

"They didn't tell us," Christian said grumpily.

"Well, then we won't find out." Rose clapped her hands on her legs as if to give the signal for changing the topic. "When are you up and running again, fireboy?"

"They want me to stay until tomorrow and then I can go," Christian said.

"They want you to stay _in bed_, right here for another day and then they want you to go lie in your own bed," I specified. "And that's exactly what you will do, baby, no disregarding doctor's orders on my watch."

"Wasn't planning on disregarding anyone's orders anytime soon," Christian said quickly and probably not only addressed to me.

"What about the wedding?" Rose asked. "Will you still be able to go?"

"It's only three days away," I frowned. "You'll have to be an extra good patient and heal quickly until then, then you can go."

He grinned. "Are you my parent now?"

"Someone has to be the responsible one when you don't take care of yourself!"

"Good, no need for me to be responsible then!"

"Speaking of responsible…" Rose said. "We still have another exam today. Are we going to take it?"

I hesitated. The exam hadn't been foremost in my mind while I was still worried about Christian, but seeing him now, I was assured that he really would be alright. Taking the exam was important to me, but so was being there for Christian. I really didn't want to leave him right now.

"You can leave me alone for a few hours," Christian interrupted my thoughts. "I won't run away, I promise."

"You'd better not," I retorted. "If you so much as peek your toes out of the covers without authorization, I'll give a certain present a little try."

Our eyes met, and I couldn't contain a fit of laughter. We had seen a set of toys for certain occasions in some kind of joke article shop recently and just hadn't been able to refrain from buying it to regale Rose and Dimitri with it at some later time. Christian joined in with me, but I stopped when I saw him wince in pain.

"Oh, baby. Can we not make any jokes in your presence for the next few days?" I said in mock pity.

"No, you go on, I'll just practice the Dimitri Belikov look of no concern," he groaned.

Rose hopped off her windowsill suddenly. "Time for us to go, comrade," she said. "Looks like the heat is going up a little in here."

Dimitri finally broke his poker face for a small smile, and let Rose drag him out of the room by an arm. I turned to Christian again.

"You gave Dimitri quite a shock, I think," I told him seriously.

"I know," he replied, clearly with a bad conscience. "But honestly, how could we have anticipated this?"

"Christian, no matter what you anticipate, you should never go Strigoi-hunting on a whim. Not even guardians to that, if they go hunt them out, they're prepared."

"Okay, okay. I know it was stupid. Stop giving me a hard time about it."

"I've only just started."

He sighed overly exasperated. Then he grew serious again. "Lissa, you didn't have any second thoughts about your medication, did you?" He took my hand again. "Because you should never think you're not doing the right thing on my account. I stupidly got injured while going off on a folly, and there's nothing you should have done any differently."

I didn't know what to say to this. He'd hit the nail spot on, of course. This was what my thoughts had revolved around during the whole drive to Court: what if he was injured critically and there was nothing I could do about it as a result of my medication?

When I didn't say anything, he went on: "I'm sorry, it was a stupid idea, I know it. I'll be less reckless in the future, Lissa, I promise. And it's not your job to heal every scratch, you're the queen, you were right in saying that it was more important for you to be stable and balanced than for everyone's little whims to heal right away, I mean most things heal on their own just fine, so don't worry, you're doing everything right."

His rambling made me smile. I put my head down on his chest, somewhere I knew it was safe and I wouldn't cause him any pain, and enjoyed the feeling of him softly running his fingers through my hair.

"And you should get some rest before you take your exam. You can't have slept much last night."

"No, I'm okay."

"Come on, get some sleep. You need it."

He was probably right. With a regretful sigh, I reluctantly raised my head. I engaged him in a long, gentle kiss, and then left him with the promise to come back after my last final as soon as I could.


	22. Can't Always Get What You Want

**Hey guys! I just wanted to tell you again that I'm going to upload two chapters at once sometimes now (like today), so if you're opening my story when there's an update, don't only check the last one! I think some of you might have missed chapter 18 and 19 (Reunion with a Bang and Aftermath), because I updated really chaotically that day. Read them if you like :-) **

DIMITRI

"We'll only be away for a few hours," Rose said as soon as we were out on the busy hospital corridor. "It's the last exam, finally! And then, it's Christmas break!"

"Yes," I agreed, "Finally. I'm looking forwards to having you here for a month at a time."

"Just this one final. I'm going to get through this," Rose chanted as if reciting a mantra. "I got through all the other ones. I will get this last one over with as well."

"Yes, you will. Think of the reward," I suggested. Rose's eyes lit up.

"The wedding!" Well, this was not what I had had in mind, but whatever made her happy.

"Okay, I'm going to get everything ready for us to depart. Lissa's guardians are in a fray from us taking off so suddenly, I think I need to calm some troubled souls and make them understand that this queen is not going to live without a few spontaneous races every now and then. Are you coming with me?"

I sighed internally. I would have liked nothing better. But I said: "Not right now. I need a word with Christian when Lissa leaves."

Rose shrugged but left, and a few minutes later, Lissa came down the hall. She seemed surprised to find me still waiting in the hall along with her guardians.

"Didn't you go with Rose?" She asked.

"She's off sorting out things for your departure. I need to talk to Christian for a minute," I told her. She shrugged and left, the guardians following in her wake. I walked back to Christian's room and knocked on the doorframe again before entering.

"You're still angry, aren't you?" He greeted me immediately, shifting uncomfortably in the bed.

"I'm not angry because you persuaded me to hunt those Strigoi," I said.

"Then what?"

"There was no need for you to get hurt."

"No, of course there wasn't, but maybe the Strigoi had his own take on what there was a need for."

"Stop the cockiness for a minute, okay?" I snapped at him irritatedly. "I had the bullet. I was pushing you away. You resisted. Didn't you?"

He didn't say anything, but just looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Why did you do that?" I demanded. "You put yourself in danger unnecessarily."

"Some would say it's the one who jumps in front of a gun who is putting themselves in unnecessary danger," he deadpanned.

"When will it get through to you that that's exactly what I'm supposed to do as your guardian? Keeping you safe is my job. You're not making that easy right now."

"So then you would have taken the shot! I don't see how that's any better than me taking it," he retorted agitatedly.

"It's better because I'm your guardian!"

"What, because I'm a Moroi and you're a lowly dhampir? Do they actually beat that into you that deeply in school?"

I was struggling to keep a grip on my anger. "What exactly do you think guardians are for if not to protect you?" I said slowly, trembling with the effort to keep my voice in check.

"You're the fighters! If there's a Strigoi to beat up, I'm awfully glad to have you with me because you kick some serious ass, but when it comes to being shot with a gun by who knows what, I can't see any reason why it should be you rather than me who is hit! You're in no way better than me at eating bullets, so where's the difference?"

He stopped as suddenly a short squat nurse bobbed up under my elbow.

"Please don't agitate our patients, Guardian Belikov," she admonished me sternly.

"I'm sorry," I said automatically. Christian hunched his shoulders guiltily and lowered himself back onto the bed from where he'd half-risen in his rant.

"I just can't agree to this 'They come first' thing," he continued quietly when the nurse had left. "You're guardians because your bodies are better equipped to fight, not because your death matters less. How twisted is it to make you believe that it is your duty to lay down your life for a Moroi even if he's stupid enough to run into danger of his own accord?"

"Would you say that about Lissa's guardians as well? Should she also take her own bullets?" I asked him. Even before I said it, I knew I had him there; he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "I thought so."

"Thank you for getting me out of there," he said instead.

I refrained from saying the clichéd: You would have done the same for me. I knew he would have. Instead, I just nodded.

"Are you in trouble with the guardians?"

"There'll be a reproof. Nothing of consequence." No consequence for him, anyway. Hans hadn't sounded so lenient at all in my earlier talk with him.

I left him to rest after this, hurrying to the palace to catch Rose and Lissa before their departure.

...

Rose and I stole a few hours by ourselves while Lissa was getting some sleep. We didn't go to our bedroom for a change; instead, we went to a guardian gym to spar. We neither of us got enough training with opponents who actually posed a challenge our level of proficiency.

Rose emerged from the women's locker room in a tight-fitting black top and sweatpants. God, I had missed seeing her in workout clothes. Rose was beautiful no matter what she wore, but dressing for training emphasized the grace and litheness of her body.

We did a short warm-up together, running two miles and stretching, than squared off on the training mat. As I took a defensive crouch, her face hovering feet from me in the same position, I was suddenly transported back into the novice gym at St. Vladimir's academy, where a much younger and untested dhampir girl had stood in exactly the same position and cheeked me to no end. Now, when we trained, there wasn't much I had on her anymore. Our matches were balanced, with her winning as many as I did, and often protracted because with our skills so evenly matched, we needed some time to find an opening in the other.

Rose went for an immediate attack this time. In quick succession, she stroke at my neck, kicked at my knee, and then went in with her practice stake. I deflected her, but barely. She had almost caught me not paying attention in my reminiscence. I gathered my wits quickly, though, grabbed the arm with the raised stake in it and let myself fall backwards, pulling her with me and turning so that she would land under me. She kicked out with her legs and let the momentum carry her over my head, where she caught herself in a neat somersault. In our starting position again, we danced around each other, not circling because that would have made our movements predictable, but changing directions, speed and proximity constantly. She charged me again, this time running at me and jumping so as to gain the advantage of height over me. The move would have worked with a smaller opponent, but she didn't reach high enough to inconvenience me. I took advantage of the moment of her landing, striking at her side while parrying her stake with mine to face away from me. She stopped me with her knee, twisting out of my grasp and starting a complex series of blows that I had to fend off by one. In the midst of her attack, I abruptly ducked down and barreled into her legs. She lost balance, but saved herself by elegantly rolling over her shoulder away from me and parrying my attacks in a low crouch on the ground.

We sparred for an hour without one of us getting the upper hand in the fight. Finally, she carried out a two-footed kick that had her legs wheeling in the air while her upper body stayed suspended in the air. Her unexpected second flying leg caught me in the shoulder, successfully putting me out of balance so that after two more blows, she kicked my legs out from under me and pinned me to the ground with her stake placed dead center on my chest, where my protective clothing padded my sternum.

"Not the heart," I panted.

"Close enough."

We both had to catch our breath after our fight, not getting up from the floor but staying where we had fallen, next, almost on top of each other. We were both slick with sweat, our clothes clinging to our bodies. There was hardly a scent in the world more enticing to me than Rose's natural smell, but Rose's sweaty smell was a close competitor.

As soon as her breathing had calmed, she crept closer to me.

"We're in a public gym, Rose," I warned.

"Not up for the risk, Guadian Belikov?"

Her lips crashed on mine, and we could have been on the raised dais in the courtroom in a hall full of people for all I cared. Sweat made her body slippery as I pulled her on top of me. Strands of her damp hair that had escaped her ponytail brushed my face, and very soon we were both breathless again. My hand on her back went under her shirt with a will of its own, while hers ran over my stomach and chest, pushing my shirt up over my head. Our legs intertwined, linking our bodies until we became a physical unit in addition to a spiritual one. Our kiss increased in passion to an almost unbearable degree, and then the gym door opened and Rose's head shot up and our kiss broke apart. Through the heat that still cursed through me, I would almost not have noticed the interruption, and I resented it so very very much.

Two young guardians entered, oblivious to what they were interrupting, and paused their chatting only briefly to give us a knowing grin. Rose raised her hand to wave at them nonchalantly. When they disappeared into the locker room, Rose dropped her head to rest on my chest.

"Damn."

"Hm."

"I swear, if they hadn't come…"

"We would have made quite a show of ourselves," I finished for her.

"Way to think positive, comrade."

"You're welcome, Roza."

We had no choice but to pick ourselves up from the training mat and follow the two guardians into the locker rooms. Freshly showered and clean, we met again.

"I really need us to go to our bedroom right now," Rose said immediately.

"Yes," I agreed. "Let's go."

We were not so lucky, though. As we crossed guardian headquarters, Hans cornered us.

"Belikov. A word?"

"Of course, sir," I replied, trying not sound despondent. I had had my share of admonition in my talk with him earlier, and it served me for the day.

"Well…" He mustered me with an almost comical desperation. "I don't know whether to congratulate you on your assigned charge or to pity you."

"I think that's a question I will have to ask myself many times in the future. But why do you?"

"I just received a very insistent phone call from Lord Ozera to the point that if I give you any trouble over tonight's incident, I will basically say that I completely disregard his ability to fend for himself in a Strigoi situation. He emphasized that if I didn't want to harm the cause of the Moroi fighting program, I had better not reduce their unspoken leader to a meek follower of his guardian and blame you for your charge's bad decisions." He sighed dramatically. "It takes a lot of getting used to to just have our deeply ingrained believes overrun by a youngster surging ahead in the development with the Moroi defense. There's hardly anything I can say against it, though. You're free of all charges, Belikov."

Rose broke into laughter. "Christian blackmailed you out of a formal reproof? I didn't see that coming."

"Well, nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to Christian," I said warily.

"So, you still support the Moroi fighting program?" Rose asked Hans.

"Of course I do. My duty is to the protection of Moroi. With guardian numbers plummeting like they currently do, I see no other way than the Moroi using their own powers for protection. I'd do anything to support their cause. Despite those rogue water users, I think Moroi learning how to fight will help their safety tremendously."

"Let's hope that the will to learn it doesn't always come with a penchant for recklessness," Rose said.

As a farewell, Hans wish me good luck for my future teaming with my charge. I guess I would need that.

"Okay, now, let's get going," Rose said impatiently when Hans was out of earshot. We started for our apartment and ran straight into Sonya and Mikhail, who were smiling so brightly the moon seemed to dim.

"Oh, we were just thinking about you," Sonya exclaimed.

"We were saying how nice it was to see you two together again," Mikhail added.

"We're so looking forwards to the wedding!" Rose said, delight rivaling the happy couple's shining in her eyes despite our hurry.

"Oh, and Adrian is coming, I'll enjoy seeing him again," Sonya chattered on.

"And Sydney is coming too, the Alchemist, you both know her, too," Mikhail said cheerfully. They were so psyched they talked non-stop for about fifteen minutes before they remembered they had to go somewhere.

"So. _Now_ let's go," Rose said. This time, it was Lissa's guardian Carl who waylaid us.

"Hi Rose, Dimitri…" he said. "There's a little problem. They won't allow third parties in the science building for the exam…"

By the time Rose and Carl had sorted out the guardian attendance problem, there was only half an hour left before they would have to go, which went by preparing the cars and calming some agitated guardians.

When the allotted time came, Lissa was already in the car, not having Christian here to say goodbye to. There really was no need for lengthy farewells, because they would be back in a few hours, but with the disappointment of our thwarted get-together, we at least needed some kisses as a consolation. I wished Rose good luck for the exam, and off they went, disappearing down the road just as the sun touched the horizon.

Way too many hours later, during which I was pacing between the palace and our apartment and the infirmary, they came back, and Rose and I finally retreated to the bedroom without anybody disturbing us.

* * *

**The Christian part of this was mainly me venting my anger at how damphirs are treated by Moroi! Seriously! They're considered as something like a second class race, and they don't even mind! They just go on about how 'They come first'! I needed someone to say this, and because the thought that maybe 'They come first' is bullshit never seemed to cross Rose and Dimitri's minds, the task fell to Christian. And I feel like this is something he might actually say, too. **


	23. Wedding Bells I

LISSA

The dress I had picked out for the wedding was a short-sleeved chiffon dress of a subdued mauve color that fell down past my knees and puffed up when I twirled. I was holding it in front of me, testing my twirling in front of the mirror.

"I like it," Christian commented. He was on the bed, because that's where I made him stay in preparation of a long day on his feet, lying on his side and propping his head up on his hand. "You'll look stunning. You'll have to take care not to look better than the bride. You're not allowed to, you know?"

"I won't. Sonya's been radiating joy for days, it would be impossible to best her looks."

I put the dress on its hanger and into a garment bag. Next to it was already the bag containing Christian's suit and shirt.

"If you say so. I guess I'm biased."

"Are you?" I teased, coming over to the bed and sitting down next to him on the edge.

"I can just wear whatever I want," he said. "No one will notice anything else in the room when you'll be making your entrance, so I'm as good as invisible. I think I might come in pajamas."

"I'll notice you. And let me tell you, you're quite a sight in a suit."

I leaned down until my face was hovering inches above his.

"Actually, you're quite a sight in your pajamas, too," I said in my best seductive voice. He smiled and pulled me down into a kiss.

"You know, in the hotel room, there will be guardians staying right inside with us," he said, interrupting the kiss. "So, tomorrow night…"

"There will be some things we cannot do. I know."

We would depart for the Pocono Mountains, where Sonya and Mikhail's wedding would be held, in a couple of hours. The wedding would be later today, and because we'd be staying late on the reception, we were staying in a hotel for one night. Security arrangements there had been vastly increased on account of my presence, but they were still low when compared to palace security. This was why two guardians would be with us in the hotel room when we slept.

"But now…"

"We still can."

And we did, even though we were supposed to get ready to depart and even though we had to be really careful not to jostle his wound too much. But sometimes, things just come in unexpected moments…

The rest of the preparation had to go pretty swiftly afterwards, but with only one night away, there was not much to pack. Christian looked at me ruefully when I shouldered our travel bag and the two garment bags by myself.

Rose and Dimitri awaited us at the cars. We'd be sharing a car with them. They were similarly loaded as I was, with garment bags for Rose's bridesmaid outfit and Dimitri's guardian uniform.

"You ready to go?" Rose called out to us. I affirmed.

"Then let's get started! I can't wait to see the greenhouse, Sonya told me so much about it!"

Rose and I were giddy with excitement as we drove out of Court and onto the highway. All the same, I felt more relaxed than I had for ages. With Winter break finally come, I could concentrate on Court work only, and it was much less of a strain than juggling Court weekends with weekly classes and studying. I would have much more time to do the things I had neglected to do all semester, such as reading a book, or lying in with Christian. The wedding would be the start of a very pleasant winter, I decided.

"Look, that's the hotel!" I pointed out of the window and turned to Christian, who had been rather quiet for most of the drive. "Maybe we'll get a room with a view to the Mountains!"

"I'm sure you need only ask," he said.

It turned out I didn't even need to ask; we were shown the biggest and most beautiful room the hotel could offer by the hotel manager himself. It was an elegant two-bedroom suite with a tasteful interior held in brown and cream colors. There was a little balcony that I stepped on briefly, but it was too cold to make use of it in December.

We had two hours left until the wedding, and I needed those to get ready. My stylist had come with us – yes, I had a stylist and yes, it was showy, but there would be wedding congregation's worth of people looking at me, and a queen under so much scrutiny could indulge in a little help with her hair – and she'd be here in a few minutes. I hurriedly pushed Christian down on the bed and made him promise to rest as much as he could before the long night. I was still a little concerned whether he was well enough to stand through this; he'd been home from hospital for only two days and was still supposed to take it easy, but he had assured me repeatedly that he was feeling fine, so I had selfishly decided to believe him. He had always been with me for public appearances. I felt so much more secure with him by my side when I had to face the crowd.

The stylist had me sit down in the living room, where she arranged all her mirrors, make-up and brushes around me. We engaged in friendly chit-chat as she set to work, applying light make-up so I still looked natural, and doing my hair in a simple style that made no effort to steal any attention away from the bride. Due to the simplicity of my chosen style for today, she was finished in no time, and I asked her whether she would mind passing by Rose's room and maybe giving her a hand in the touch-up of her outfit.

Christian was already dressed in his suit and tie and sitting on the bed when I entered in our bedroom. He turned around to face me, and an admiring look stole into his features as he took me in.

"You look… wow. You're absolutely stunning." There was a shine in his eyes that I had come to associate with him laying eyes on me after I'd made half an effort to look decent. My appearance constantly seemed to amaze him.

I went to sit beside him on the bed.

"Right back at you, baby."

He smirked and kissed me, holding me carefully because I had scolded him on several previous occasions for messing up my hair.

"I have a little favor to ask of you," he said sheepishly when we drew apart.

"Fire away."

"Could you tie my shoes?"

I broke into laughter.

"Don't! I can't reach down there! Are you mocking an injured man?"

"Oh, Christian. I love you, you know that?"

"Well, do you love me enough to pretend I'm a two-year-old for a minute and tie my frigging shoes?"

"If that is what you wish for, baby, I will gladly tie your shoes."

"Oh my, she is tying your shoes," Rose's voice came from the door. She had come to pick us up and had entered unnoticed by us. "That must be real love."

"I don't know, I think I'll wait to see if she's going to tie my shoes together before I say that," Christian retorted.

"Don't tease, or I'll do it," I bluffed.

We walked down to the hotel's foyer to wait for the limousine that was meant to take us to the venue of the wedding. It was an impressive lobby, a large room under a domed ceiling, furnished with groups of armchairs arranged around little coffee tables, and dominated by the circular reception desk that stood free in the middle of the hall. As we exited the elevators and stepped out into the spacey lobby, a figure rose from one of the many armchairs.

"Your majesty!" It was Adrian, who casually ambled over to us, glass in hand. I gave a delighted squeal. I guess I needed to get a grip on my voice again; all the excited squealing in the car with Rose must have had a lingering effect. But I was sincerely pleased to see Adrian again. He looked good; in spite of the obligatory presence of alcohol, he seemed sober enough, and had recovered noticeably from his state of dejection when I saw him last. Impulsively, I ran the few steps towards him and threw my arms around his neck.

"Adrian!"

"Wow, I didn't expect instant strangulation upon meeting you, my queen," he said.

"Don't call me queen," I reprimanded him with a smile. "And don't call me majesty, either. Why do I have to tell people?"

"Because for most people, it's the only possible way to annoy you if they have a need for it," he retorted playfully.

I released him and took another good look at him. He seemed relaxed; it was how he usually had been, laid back and easy, but I had not expected him to except Rose and Dimitri's presence – together, to boot – so readily. From what I had heard from Dimitri by way of Rose, he had not been thrilled to see Dimitri in Palm Springs, to say the least.

"Don't burn a hole into me with those eyes, queen V, I am very fond of this body," he said casually. Then, so help me, he turned to Rose and Dimitri with a smirk.

"Rose. Belikov, you must be just as proud of your companion as the groom is of his blushing bride, no doubt."

He must have been, indeed. Rose looked breathtaking in her floor length emerald green bridesmaid's dress and her hair flowing unrestrained over her shoulders. She and Dimitri were both a little taken aback by Adrian's unforeseen friendliness, but they returned his smile kindly. The nod Adrian gave Christian was a bit strained; he returned it wordlessly.

"Are you taking a car with us? You could tell us about what you and the rest of the gang have been up to recently," I said expectantly. Adrian's face turned dark.

"I can't. Have to wait for my old man. I came down here to escape from his endless tirades about the atrocity of a Moroi-dhampir marriage."

It was indeed unusual for a Moroi and a dhampir to form lasting relationships, let alone marry. I had thought that Sonya and Mikhail had only invited people who were on friendly terms with them and thus with the concept of their marriage, but I guess they had had to invite some people out of politeness only. Adrian's dad did definitely not belong to their dearer guests.

"Well, okay," I said, a little crestfallen. "See you at the wedding, then."

The limousine had already arrived; we were not the only ones waiting for a lift from the hotel to the greenhouse, but people made way for us regardless. The drive was only about five minutes, and then we were standing in the most staggeringly beautiful wedding venue ever. To tell the truth, it was the first wedding I ever attended, but I was confident with my assessment of the beauty of the place: it could not be outdone.

The greenhouse was enormous, glass panels all the way around and up to a vaulted ceiling. Inside, it was as green as green could be. This was no normal greenhouse; this was a piece of jungle in all its lush and living glory. I felt as if I had been transported into the Amazon, and half expected little monkeys to swing around the trees or parrots to croak. There wasn't much time to enjoy the scenery, though, because we were ushered into a little chamber adjacent to the large room, where we would wait until I would make my grand entrance. Dimitri had to leave to attend to his guardian duties; Rose left for another room where Sonya would be getting ready with the other bridesmaids. That left Christian and me and the ubiquitous handful of guardians.

"Nervous?" Christian asked. He knew that I still had a little trouble with my nerves when I had to have a grand public appearance like this.

"It's okay. I'm glad you'll be with me." I looked for a chair and pushed him on it, a little worried when I saw how relieved he was to sit down.

"Are you okay?"

"I am doing splendidly, as anybody who is in the presence of such an otherworldly beauty such as you are would be."

"That sounds like something Adrian would say," I teased. His smile vanished.

"You don't have a problem with me hugging Adrian, do you?" I still remembered his irritation when Adrian and I got carried away in our spirit practicing sessions back at St. Vlad's.

"No, it was just weird… I haven't seen much of him since."

"Since…"

"Since it turned out that my aunt killed his aunt."

"Oh."

"I'm not sure whether he resents me."

"I'm sure he doesn't. If there's one person who'd never judge a person by his relatives, then it's Adrian. Just look at his father."

"I hope so."

"It's a shame we didn't get to talk to him in private. We can't talk about the Palm Springs group with other people around. He won't be able to say much about them."

"Maybe there's time to meet up with him tomorrow," Christian suggested.

"Maybe. But we're leaving fairly early," I said. I was pacing the room, getting a little cold in my thin cocktail dress.

"Because the poor guardians will need a rest after this night," Christian mumbled. He was right; my presence made this wedding a high security event. The guardian count around and within the greenhouse was tremendous, requiring guardians to be pulled from non-essential tasks at Court. There would be no administrative work happening in guardian headquarters now, Court premise patrol was reduced and guardians assigned to Moroi currently staying in Court had been drafted. They were all on edge; large gatherings of Moroi always attracted Strigoi, no matter the safety measures. There would be some skirmishes around the wedding today that the Moroi guests would not even become aware of.

It was our time to enter, then. The wedding coordinator poked her head in, then changed her mind and entered fully, too busy to kneel, thankfully, and informed us that the congregation was seated and the ceremony about to start.

She left us with an usher, who escorted us down to the main greenhouse's door.

"Don't look so grumpy," I murmured under my breath to Christian.

"I'm not!"

"You are! What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Christian!"

"I just don't like being stared at like this. Or rather, being ignored next to you being stared at."

"You never mentioned that before!"

"Because it's not important."

"Of course it is!"

There was no more time to argue, because at this moment, the usher opened the door, and the first heads turned towards us in the back rows. I quickly put on my smile, and so, I was relieved to see, did Christian, and we started down the aisle in a slow, dignified walk. A ringing voice shouted out my name and title as we progressed, and before we even reached the last row, everyone occupying it sank to their knees in the tight space between seats. Like a play of dominoes, heads sank down as realization of our arrival made its way through the wedding congregation. When the rustle came to an end, I was looking down on a sea of heads and faces. Three figures on the left side of the aisle remained seated. They stood out, protruding from the kneeling masses on their chairs. I recognized Sydney first, looking slightly uncomfortable, and then remembered that the others were the two Alchemists that had been restrained along with her in the course of the events during the monarch's tests.

I was pretty surprised at who awaited us in the front row where we sat down after our march down the aisle: Abe Mazur. He was certainly not high enough up either the Moroi rank nor Sonya and Mikhail's friend list to warrant this place of honor, but he gave no sign of feeling out of place. On the contrary, he wagged his eyebrows at us in an expression I couldn't quite place, and then demonstratively turned his head to look down the aisle again. I followed his lead; now it was Sonya's turn to make her entrance. And there she came, looking radiant in her simple ivory dress and her flowery hairdo. I immediately realized that no show of dress or style could have made me outshine her: there was simply no outshining Sonya on her day of happiness. There was a glow about her that had nothing to do with her dress or her hair, but that shone from the brilliance of her love. It was the same glow that emanated from the smile Mikhail gave her as she joined him on the dais raised up for the couple, and an invisible force seemed to draw them together.

I squeezed Christian's hand all through the ceremony. It was beautiful. Until now, I had never understood the reason for people to cry at a wedding; I had always thought that it was just two people standing in front of a priest, a few songs sung, a few lines droned, a few vows exchanged. But there was something so deeply touching about this ceremony that against my expectations, I found myself close to tears pretty soon. What the priest was saying about love had a ring of eternity and fate to it that made it really hard not to cry.

When the newly married couple exited, we were to follow right behind them. I was fighting hard to keep my eyes dry while at the same time grinning so broadly for their joy that my cheeks started to hurt. On our way out, I thought that Christian leaned a little more heavily on my arm than before, but we didn't have to go far. Once again, we got into one of the limousines that already lined up to bring all the guests to the hotel, where the reception would take place.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Christian as soon as the car door slammed shut.

"Stop fretting, Lissa, I'm okay. Plus, we'll be in the hotel, so I can disappear whenever I need to."

"Don't just disappear, though," I warned him. "Tell me, and tell Dimitri, too. He'll want to know where you are."

He smiled sourly. "Sure. I'll tell him, so he'll feel compelled to come with me and hide in a dark bedroom when he could be down enjoying time with Rose."

"Don't be so melodramatic," I chided him. The car had already stopped in front of the hotel. We got out and entered into a foyer which was unrecognizable; in the short time we had been gone for the ceremony, it had been transformed into a flowery wedding reception hall. Sonya and Mikhail, the first to arrive, were standing in the middle of the room, oblivious to the change that had taken place here, immersed into one of the kisses that dominated their first hour as a married couple.

They broke the kiss when we neared them, but never released their hold on each other. I hugged them both, overwhelmed by my joy for them, while Christian stood behind me smiling.

"It was such a beautiful ceremony!" I exclaimed breathlessly. "I cried! Your vows were beautiful. Everything was." I could have gone on, but other guests started to arrive and I couldn't monopolize the bridal couple. We went to our assigned seats on one of the central tables, right next to Sonya and Mikhail's table. The room was starting to fill. Rose joined as soon; she was seated next to us, getting some weird looks from people who appeared a little put out by the presence of a dhampir at a Moroi wedding, let alone at the queen's table, but she ignored them.

"Oh my god," she said, plopping onto her chair in a very unladylike fashion. "This was such a tearjerker wedding. I can't believe they put me into such a compromising position, in front of all those people who could see me cry."

"Don't be so egoistical, Rose," Christian teased. "No one had eyes for you with Sonya there."

"I disagree. Lots of people had eyes for our little dhampir here," I heard a voice say. Adrian zestfully swiveled another chair at our table around so he could rest his chin on its back.

"You're in an awfully good mood today," Rose said.

"How could I not, in the presence of so many beautiful women?"

"I do sound like him," Christian murmured aghast.


	24. Wedding Bells II

DIMITRI

After the ceremony, I was one of the guardians assigned to stay behind and secure the greenhouse until the last of the Moroi had left. Rose found me in the darker areas beyond the ceremony space while the guests filed out of the greenhouse, talking animatedly about the ceremony. She looked more beautiful than ever in her flowing dark green dress that hugged her figure in all the right places.

"I need to hide for a minute," she sniffed. "Can't let people see me cry."

I had heard most of the ceremony, even if I had not seen it. It really had been emotional.

"Come here," I said. Rose came into my embrace and I held her quietly for a while, hidden from sight behind the dense green forest of the greenhouse plants.

"Dimitri," she said suddenly. "Do you think we can one day marry if we want?"

I didn't know where she was going with this, so I replied carefully: "Guardians are allowed to marry just as any other dhampir or Moroi. So yes, we could."

"But would we?" She continued. "Wouldn't it mean putting ourselves first? Would we allow ourselves to do it?"

"Rose – we have our own lives. No amount of dedication to our charges could change that. And we are already committed to each other. It was when we decided we would be with each other that this question would have needed to be asked. But it wasn't really a question because we couldn't have stayed apart even if we had wanted to. There are things that guardian duty cannot stop."

"I think I like that answer," Rose said. Then she suddenly laughed and peeked her head out from under my arms. "Do you know who I used to want to marry?"

"You're going to tell me."

"Jesse Zeklos."

"The one I once caught you making out with?"

"The very one. He used to be the hottest guy around before you came along."

"Don't you think he's quite a prick?"

"He's the king of assholes! But when Lissa and I drew pictures of our weddings in our diaries in third grade, I drew a little stick figure Jesse and put a heart around his name and mine."

"You had a diary?"

"I was nine years old!"

"Do you still have it?"

"Not a chance, comrade, you are never going to see it."

"Who did Lissa want to marry?"

"She drew someone else on every page. I think she wanted to marry the whole school at some point."

"That's less embarrassing than having the hots for Jesse Zeklos for years."

"It didn't last years! It was a kid crush! It lasted a week!"

"It's alright, Roza. You don't know who I had crushes on… "

"Who?"

"You don't know them."

"Doesn't matter, crush stories are good no matter whether you know the people or not."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Do, tell me!"

"No."

"Comrade!"

"Rose."

"So now you have extortion material on me, and I have nothing on you," she said with a pout.

"Exactly."

"You're one mean Russian!"

"Also, I'm a Russian on duty," I reminded her. "And you should be off for the reception. You're a bridesmaid, after all. Don't let the bride wait."

"You're right. But you're coming over as soon as everyone has gone, right?"

"Yes, I will."

She left then, and it didn't take long for the rest of the guests to disperse into the cars and the greenhouse to empty. After the limousines had disappeared, guardian SUVs lined up to ferry us to the hotel, where the added security would now be needed.

For the next two hours, I didn't see much of the party; I was stationed outside, hidden in the bushes. The reception guests would be eating now, and then the less formal part of the night would begin. The party had picked up in mood when I started my break and went to look for Rose.

I detected her making polite small-talk to some older Moroi who had been Sonya's colleagues at St. Vladimir's and Rose's teachers. She excused herself when she saw me and immediately drew me into a quiet corner.

"You won't believe what just happened!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Adrian asked Sydney to dance!"

"Oh."

"He did! Everyone was appalled, of course, and this pansy of a colleague of hers almost refused him, but she went and danced with him and they looked so good together! I swear, they were in sync just like we are when we're fighting. Well, I guess it's a little more romantic when you have it while dancing, but the point is, I think you're right in suspecting Adrian has a thing for her! And that's not all." She lowered her voice, checking around us to make sure no one was close enough to overhear us. "I think she likes him, too!"

"No way," I said flatly. "No way. Sydney is absolutely dedicated to her Alchemist duty. She might be friendly with us, but she would never… would she?" Thinking back to how she had behaved around Adrian in Palm Springs, I was no longer so sure.

"I'm telling you, they were in sync! You don't get that kind of teamness when it's only one who has affection for the other."

"But that…" I frowned. "That would be a scandal. A human and a Moroi… an Alchemist at that…"

"I know. We have to keep it a secret. That goes without saying."

"Sydney and Adrian. I can't believe it. So far, I thought it was only Adrian who fancied her. When I was there, Sydney hadn't even noticed he liked her."

"I wonder how Sydney feels about that. It can't be easy for her. I mean, they ingrained this belief about vampires into her so deeply…" Rose's face showed all her sympathy for Sydney's plight.

"Speak of the devil," I said quietly. I had just noticed Adrian coming our way. This time, he looked less pleased to see us; I wondered whether his previous friendliness had worn off.

"Nice move on Sydney," Rose greeted him.

"Well, I never miss a chance to dance with a beautiful girl," he said dismissively. He seemed impatient.

"Don't think she liked the sudden attention, though," Rose commented.

"Yes, yes. Look, I'm… Christian!"

Christian had been trying to pass by us unnoticed, judging by the sigh he gave when Adrian called him. He reluctantly joined our little circle, looking grumpy and a little pale again.

"Wow, your aura screams discomfort."

"Well, good that my aura is speaking for me," he scoffed.

"Did you leave Lissa alone to the mob of admirers?" Rose asked. Lissa had elicited as much attention as the bride at the ceremony, so I suspected that people were crowding around her here as well. I also suspected that Christian wasn't too happy with countless fans of hers monopolizing her attention and ignoring him like he was the dirty hem of her skirts.

"She was doing just fine. In fact, she'll do better without me, because she'll have one thing less to worry about."

"Don't wallow in self-pity," Adrian said. "You have a girlfriend with the greatness to rule our people. Stop moping around about it."

Astonishingly sober words for Adrian. They got him some puzzled looks from all of us.

"Thanks, wise words from the master of self-control," Christian retorted irritatedly. That was a little below the waistline in my book, and Rose seemed to think likewise.

"Hey, stop venting your anger at him. We get that you're pissed. But he's right."

"Also," Adrian said. "You still might take care of your attire a little more. Did you empty a glass of red wine over your shirt?"

Christian glared at him, but said nothing. Glancing down at him, I noticed that he was still wearing his suit jacket, unlike most of the other men as the room had heated up with the dancing party guests, and that the edge of his white shirt underneath was stained bright crimson.

"Sorry. I left my spare shirt behind," Christian deadpanned.

"Do you even own a spare one?" Adrian asked.

"No."

"You're bleeding," Rose stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, thanks for telling me, Rose. I hadn't noticed." So his mood wasn't entirely down to being the third wheel for Lissa's fan club.

"That's blood? What happened?" Adrian seemed to regret his taunts a little.

"I got shot," Christian said sourly.

Rose and I were both starting to steer him away from the hall and towards the elevators, where I think he had been on his way to when he met us.

"Why is it bleeding again?" Rose asked.

"I guess I pulled some stitches. Only started to bleed one or two hours ago."

"What did you do to pull your stitches?" Rose asked with a slightly exasperated tone. "Lissa was making such an effort to take care of you."

"I don't know," Christian grumbled.

"By the look of your aura..." Adrian mused. He had tagged along.

"Can we leave my aura out of it?"

"By the look of your aura, you are embarrassed about it, which makes me suspect that the two of you have been trying…"

"Don't. Don't say it."

"…for little Dragomirs again a little too hard."

"Oh, Christian, seriously?" Rose exclaimed. Christian looked up sheepishly. The pallor of his face made his slight blush stand out really badly.

"I don't even know whether it was that or trying to tie my shoelaces."

"Look, I'm the last person to say anything against a little fun, but keep it sensible, okay? And that doesn't only mean one kind of protection," Rose told him sternly.

"Jeez, Rose, are you serious? 'Cause I don't really know whether to laugh at you or be appalled at your grown-up behavior," Christian joked half-heartedly.

"Boy, I'm perfectly serious."

"I guess it's laughter, then," Adrian helped out.

By now, we had reached the door to Lissa and Christian's suite, where guardians were standing sentry even though the rooms were empty. They were guarding Lissa's rooms at all times, so that no one could sneak in and hide inside.

"You can go enjoy yourselves, I'll be alright." Christian tried to shoo us away. To my surprise, it was Adrian who spoke up in his support.

"Yeah, you guys go. I can stay with grumpy over here and put a band aid on his scratch."

Christian shot him a skeptical look, but getting rid of Rose and me seemed to agree with his plans. It was Rose who decided then, pulling me away from them and back to the reception.

"Uh-uh," she said cryptically.

"You don't seem so sure whether it's a good idea to leave those two in a room together," I questioned her.

"I know, but I think they have stuff to sort out between them. And with Adrian being gone, now's the time."

"What do they have to sort out?"

"Their aunts killing each other and whether that means they're mortal enemies for life or not, I guess."

"Oh."

"Not very perceptive, Dimitri."

"The whole relationship tangle slipped my mind."

"Look who we have here," Rose suddenly perked up. "Sydney?"

Sydney raised her head at the sound of her name. She seemed puzzled for a moment, but then pleased to see us.

I watched her closely as Rose confronted her with Adrian's brash dance request, barely contributing to the conversation. Sydney didn't showcase her emotions for everyone to see, especially in this case. It was hard to read her, and I wasn't sure if her panic at the thought of making a nice dance couple with Adrian was because the thought really made her panic or whether she was spooked that we had gotten it right.

My break time was drawing to a close after this. Before I would have to get out into the snowy cold again, I took some more good looks at Rose in her bridesmaid's dress. I wished there were more weddings to attend for us. Guardians didn't get a lot of opportunity to dress up in daily life, and it was a shame not to see Rose in dresses more often. I knew she enjoyed it as well.

On my way outside, where I silently joined the virtually invisible masses of guardians who were patrolling the surroundings of the hotel, I made a mental note to take her out to a fancy dinner for Christmas, and for every other opportunity that would arise in the future.


	25. Winter Break

LISSA

"Adrian is staying in Court for a few days," I told Rose on the ride back to Court. "So there's still time to ask him about everyone. I want to meet him for Lunch later. Do you guys want to join us?"

"I'd really like to," Rose answered from the driver's seat. As it had become her habit, she had jumped at the opportunity to steer a car. "But I don't know how he'd like that."

"He seemed surprisingly relaxed with our presence," Dimitri remarked. "Maybe he would really be okay with you being there."

"You won't come?"

"I can't. I'll be on duty."

"Christian?"

"Um, I think I'd better not."

"Didn't you and Adrian clear the air last night?" Rose asked.

"Well, I said I'm sorry, he said it's okay. I'm not sure it really is, but we kind of didn't want to go into girl talk, so we left it at that," Christian explained.

"He pulled quite a stunt with Sydney last night," I suddenly remembered. "But Sydney handled it really well. Didn't even make a face, in contrast to this other Alchemist guy."

"She handled it very well indeed," Rose said with a tinge of humor in her voice.

"I wanted to talk to them, but there were always so many people I didn't have the time."

"That's an understatement," Christian said. I had noticed he'd become a little irritated with all those people coming up to talk to me. I had hardly had any time to talk to him at all.

"I'm sorry I didn't have much time for you," I told him.

"That's fine. I'm getting used to it."

I refrained from pursuing this topic any further. I didn't like all the public attention, but it was unavoidable for a queen.

Back in Court, Dimitri and Rose went to deposit their luggage in their own place, Christian went to get his stitches checked (after some cajoling on my and threatening on Rose's part), and I went up to my palace apartment. To my delight, Adrian intercepted me at the palace entrance, having waited there apparently.

"You're here already?"

"I would have slept in if I had my way, but my old man is not one for idle enjoyment. He woke me up in the middle of the night to get back here," he said, the familiar lazy smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "I needed to get away from him, so I thought, who would be more welcoming than my old friend and spirit companion, the queen?"

"I wanted to meet you, too. Let's go up to my place."

While we were trudging up the stairs, I said: "I thought we could have lunch together later. You up for it?"

"Gladly."

"Would you mind Rose joining us?"

"Not at all."

He'd said this with a self-assured certainty that made me actually believe he had no problems with Rose coming. We made ourselves comfortable in my living room. We chatted for a long time. He told me about how Jill was doing in her human high school, and how Eddie and Sydney were doing. Talking about Jill was still hard for me. Knowing my father had betrayed my mother, suddenly having a sister in the middle of the fray of the monarch's election… it had not made it easy to get off to a good start with Jill. I was glad to hear she was doing alright, despite the trouble she had had with her various boyfriends. Then Rose joined us and we went to a diner together, just like we had done in old times. Thankfully, there was no mass-kneefall this time, maybe because people had gotten used to me by now.

When I returned to our apartment, I found Christian sitting on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest, apparently at a loss as to what he should do with himself here.

"Let me guess," I said as I walked over to him. "Doctor prescribed you some more bedrest, right?"

His morose scowl was all the answer I needed. I shuffled on the bed beside him and put my arms around him.

"They stitched me back together, but he still gave me another two days. I can walk around perfectly well. I just need to be careful."

I smiled at his almost childish huff. "You make it sound like a prison sentence."

"That's what it is."

"Wait and see. I can take a few days off, Christian. We have an excuse to stay in the bedroom for a couple of days, we're going to make the most of it."

That clearly cheered him up again. "I don't think we should repeat the other day, though… not just yet." He grinned.

"Like we ever needed that for our happiness. Why don't we start with this…"I turned to sit on my knees, so that I could face him more comfortably. My lips met his mid-grin, but he soon relaxed into the kiss. His hands came up around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him, and soon we were lying side by side, him on his back and me on my stomach, kissing until we needed to come up for breath.

...

"You're back on!"

"What? When was I off?"

I had gone to quickly check in with government affairs and to excuse myself for another day. I had spent some of his bedrest days before the wedding with him, too, but he had been asleep a lot then, still knocked out by medication. I really felt that Court could do a day without me now, seeing as I would be here all week for the next month. However, this visit hadn't been entirely for nothing, because I was bringing news to cheer Christian up.

"The fighting program! It's been put back on from suspension!"

His eyes instantly lit up. "You serious?"

"Yes! They interrogated the water users and found out that they had barely heard from your group, let alone watched you and learned from you. There's no way they can put this down to you. You have the Council's okay to continue right where you left off."

"Yes!" He was pulling me into a huge hug. "We're back on the road!"

"Just to make sure, you know you're not going to train for a few weeks, right?"

"Weeks? No way I'm… I mean, sure, I'll take it easy," he said, smiling innocently.

"I'll be here, remember? I'll notice if you sneak off to train."

"I'll let the doctor tell me when can go back to training, alright?"

"I'll double-check with him to make sure you're not censoring his report."

He laughed, but then grew serious again.

"I'm glad it has nothing to do with us. If we were responsible for crazy Moroi attacking you, I would relocate the whole thing to secrecy. We would be training underground or something."

"Don't beat yourself up, Christian. You saved my life, you didn't risk it."

"Still, the idea that people could emulate us to do harm isn't far off. But I guess there's no way to prevent misuse of Moroi power if ever it will get more widely used."

"Just as a guardian beating someone up will do more damage than an untrained person beating someone up. The harm is not in what you do, but in who does it."

"Yeah, I guess."

Other than my short drop-in with the offices this morning, I really did not need to do anything all day. We had lunch in bed; we had time to talk about everything that had gotten a bit neglected these last few month; we kissed all we liked; we discussed our futures, what our lives would be like when I graduated from college, what he would be doing when his fighting group would eventually disband.

"I really haven't given this much thought," he said. "I guess I should go to college, too, but maybe I'd be more useful passing on our new magic skills. After all, we'd only be wasting time if some of us don't teach new prospective students."

"As long as you teach at Court," I said. "Or go to college in Lehigh. That would be great."

Eventually, the two days were over, and nothing held Christian in his bed anymore. He even convinced me to let him go to training; he'd be well enough to take part in the magic practice, especially if it was air, water, or earth's turn, and there were guardians present who would have an eye on him.

I decided it was time for an early Christmas present for myself and Rose. So, during the first week of our vacations, I simply ordered her to come with me, which she did anyway when on duty.

"Where are we going? Do you have some queen thing?" Rose asked when I led her across the frozen Court lawns.

"Nope. How much fighting do you think you'll do in the next few weeks?"

"Huh? I usually hope for no fighting at all, because fighting tends to mean you're in danger."

"Good. If you want to, we can get our nails done again. Or, if you feel like a massage this time, I'm all for that too."

"What? Are we…?" This was when the Court's spa center came into view. "Lissa! Are we going to the spa?"

"Yup."

"I'm on duty!"

"Yes, but while you're in the same room as I am while getting my massage, you can as well get one, too."

"So that I'm naked when I have to jump up suddenly and go after some attackers?"

"They'd probably be all the more easy to defeat, seeing as they would be quite a little distracted by other parts of your body than your fist flying at them." She punched me in the side when I laughed.

"Okay, so we'll do something that doesn't involve taking our clothes off. Nails are fine. You can have yours shaped into a claw, so it would even be beneficial to your fighting skills."

Rose sighed exaggeratedly, as a show for the other guardians, who had heard our talk. "Well, if you're going to venture into the halls of manicure, I guess someone has to come with you. Carl, you want to be the one?"

We both had taken a special liking to Carl. That was probably why he often ended up near guarding along with Rose. It had been a slow development, but we had discovered that Carl was quite a quick-wit in talking back to Rose's teases, and sometimes he even answered me with humor. Just like with everybody else, it had taken him a while to open up in my presence. Now, he even started to tentatively call me Lissa instead of 'your majesty', which was huge progress.

"I think I'd like sharpened fingernails," he said. "You'd always have your letter opener with you. On the other hand, the amount of clothes I would have to buy to replace the inadvertently ripped ones would probably exceed my salary… Okay, you'll get your will. I cede the place of manicure escort to you."

I hadn't booked us in, but of course, it wasn't really a problem for me to get a manicure without an appointment. I tried not to use my queenly power too often, but I had to get some advantage out of what I was trying to do for my subjects, right? Rose and I were seated in neighboring reclining chairs in no time, two perfectly styled Moroi women setting to work on our nails. I enjoyed the spa time; there was rarely ever a time when I could just sit somewhere and do absolutely nothing. I think the last two days had refilled by energy levels almost to the brim, after the stress of not only the usual Court and college workload, but exams into the bargain. I found myself wishing to find time for luxuries like this more often. Then I quickly stopped myself. I had not become queen to walk into the footsteps of those spoiled royal brats who flaunted their status, eating caviar and lounging around the spa all the time for everyone to see. This would be a one-time event.

Well, maybe once in a while. Like, in a semester. To celebrate exams.

* * *

**Okay, so this is kind of a filler chapter… The next chapter definitely has more action in it again! And Romitri :-)**


	26. Treats And Threats

**Second chapter for today! Check the previous one too!**

DIMITRI

"You guys know that Christmas isn't until Wednesday, right?" Rose said on the way to the car.

"It's just a surprise. Not a Christmas present," I said.

"What is it?" She tugged at my arm excitedly. "Tell me now, and I'll be surprised!" I just smiled and put my arm around her.

Christian would have lent us his rundown little Volkswagen, but I had declined his offer. I would take Rose out in a proper car. Guardian SUVs could be used in one's off-duty time if signed out, and that's what we were taking. For once, Rose took the passenger's seat, though not without arguing that she could still drive without knowing the destination if I told her where to go.

I had told her to dress up, and her choice of clothing had fallen on a simple black dress of all things. I was familiar with this particular one; it was quite a special garment. It had been the first piece of clothing I had ever taken off her, though under circumstances in which I didn't pride myself in doing so. With everything this dress had been through, it must have held plenty of memories for Rose. Maybe it was in an attempt to give it some more that she had chosen to wear it tonight.

My outfit was fairly unusual for me: I was wearing a dark grey suit that hadn't seen much use in recent years. Formal events called for the guardian uniform, and I had been on duty for all events of that kind since I met Rose.

"North," she observed. "We're going north. That means we're going… I don't know where we're going. There are lots of things up north. Where are we going?"

"Well, north."

"You're killing me! You should have told me some kind of boring lie, so that I wouldn't spend this whole drive wondering where we're going!"

"But then I would have lied to you, and I will never do that."

"White lies are allowed."

"It's not that long a drive. You will survive it."

"We're going off the highway! And there's a town. Is it this town? Or are we taking country roads?"

"It's this one."

"What's in this town? It has a cinema. No, doesn't call for dress-up. There's a theatre. The theatre?"

"Keep looking."

"An ice-skating rim. Definitely not. Restaurants. There are lots of restaurants. There's a fancy French one. A fancy Chinese one. I didn't know Chinese places came in fancy. A dessert restaurant. A fish place. Wait, a dessert restaurant? Do they only have desserts?"

Rose's eyes went big when this was exactly the place beside which I pulled into the parking lot.

"A dessert place? Are we going there? Are we going to have as many desserts as we can eat? Dimitri? Are we?"

Hearty laughter escaped me at the sight of her. She was getting all fluttery at the prospect of all the sugar she could possibly eat. I think she was holding her breath until she had my response: "As many as you can possibly stomach, I promise. No health concern will stop you. I think there's a ban for dentists to enter."

I took hold of Rose's arm firmly to prevent her from crashing right through the doors of the establishment in her impatience. We managed to enter in a civilized manner, and were shown to our table by a waitress with a chocolate-colored apron. The place was fairly upper-class; the restaurant had won prizes for several of its famous desserts. All around us, people were enjoying sweet and non-sweet foods alike, dressed like us in evening attire.

When the waitress came back with the menus, Rose practically ripped it from her hands. I think she had not even noticed the elegant interior of the restaurant, the luster hanging from the ceiling or the chocolate fountain bubbling in a corner. Nothing of that mattered though, because I had achieved what I wanted: Rose was in heaven. Her eyes were popping out of her head as she studied the menu, her mouth slightly open. She was even whispering the names of the desserts under her breath, like speaking an incantation, or rather, a prayer.

"You really can have everything. Don't even take the trouble to choose," I told her. And she didn't. While I ordered a pretty conservative spaghetti carbonara, she adoringly breathed the fanciful names of three desserts to the waiter. They turned out to be a chocolate mousse, I sort of rich chocolate cake, and a layered thing made of fruit and vanilla cream. She took turns taking a bite of each, and every swallow was accompanied by a relishing hum.

Conversation was a little one-sided, revolving around her sweets with a few assertions of endless gratitude for me interspersed in between. It was only after everything that remained of the deserts were three perfectly empty plates that she was responsive to my voice again.

"Tell me when I have to brace myself for the sugar high," I teased. I almost had a bad conscience for fostering her bad eating habits, but the look of pure contentment on her face was enough to wipe away all concerns.

"You know what else gives me a high right now?" She said in a dreamy voice.

"My unfathomable kindness in bringing you to this place tonight?"

"Nooo. Well that too." The smile on her face was almost a little loony.

"Then what other of my many qualities is shining so brightly tonight?"

"The suit," she sighed.

"What?"

"Do you have any conception of how hot you look in this?"

At that, I did something I think I last did in fourth grade: I boldly, openly and broadly grinned at her without restraint.

When we left the restaurant arm in arm, I was the happiest I had felt for a long time. I was fully aware and valued that happiness had become a regular companion for me since Rose and I had started dating openly, but the calm and perfect contentment that I felt now was more than I had ever expected from life.

"Let's take a walk," Rose said. "I don't want to let go of this moment yet."

We walked the streets of the little town until the cold started to creep under our clothes; then, we found a quiet corner and wrapped around each other, holding on and sheltering the other from the cold and everything else in the outside world. My world consisted of Roza right now; her face was buried into the collar of my coat, and her hair brushed against my chin like a soft blanket.

With our mutual intensity and hunger for each other's body, we rarely shared moments of complete tenderness like these. They would always come in the aftermath of passion, but they were a respite, a result from what had been before. This was different. This was the two of us being sated with the pure presence of the other, the warm feel of the others body, the sensation of Rose's breath tingling on my neck, her heartbeat against mine. The starry night put time on hold, and I don't know how long we were standing on the streets of this little town, lost in our world of contentment. Neither of us said a word for a long while, but we found each other in a kiss of such gentleness that made the cold disappear and the night and the town and the world. I held her perfect face in my hands, and she held mine in a caress of her silky hands, and her eyes shone with love whenever I parted lips with her to just gaze at her stunning beauty.

When we found our way back to the car, the glow of our devotion was clinging to us like a palpable sheath. If someone were to look at our auras now, I'm sure they would have been seared by the blaze of love they would find in them. We shed the dreamlike trance we had been in slowly, gradually returning to the world with every step that took us closer to the vehicle that would take us back to Court. Even in the car, we kept the enchanted wrap of silence for a while, taking cover under it for just a few minutes more. I started searching for words to verbally convey my love to Rose; but I stopped, knowing there were no words that could carry the full extent of my feelings for her, and knowing full well that she knew them without saying. It was her who broke the silence eventually.

"You know, sometimes I think the world really sucks. Then again, I think a world can only be good if it has such emotions in it."

Silence made her words hang onto the veils around us. I took my eyes off the road to see her, but I felt like I was breathing her love more than I was seeing it on her face.

We parked the car in the Court garage, and walked in an embrace across the Court walkways and lawns, mingling with the nightly crowd. When we passed guardian headquarters, the flurry of action there was so incompatible with our mood that we didn't notice something was wrong before Hans stood in front of us and made his presence known with an impatient flick of his fingers.

"Hello? Belikov and Hathaway? Are you sleepwalking?"

Our dopey smiles turned into confused frowns.

"Is something wrong?" Rose asked, both of us slowly waking up from our trance and noticing the commotion.

"Yes," Hans said flatly. "There has been an attack. Thirty miles from here. A Lazar's estate."

He turned and entered headquarters, obviously expecting us to follow him. We did and had to weave our way through the guardians running in and out of the building. Cars stopped in front of it and took off in a cloud of dust, carrying a full load of guardians with it; they were preparing to go to the scene of the attack, I realized.

Hans headed for the main mission control room. In it, we found Lissa listening intently to a guardian who was relaying information from a phone, Christian behind her trying not to get in the way. Guardians manned communications stations and leaned over a table in the center, where maps and lists that I wasn't close enough to read were spread out.

"There's been one attack on a house?" I wanted to know. "What's all the action for? Is it not over yet?"

"We're warning all the Moroi residences in the vicinity of the attack. Royals first. Last winter, it was royals who were targeted, and this looks eerily similar to this."

Last year. The attack on the Badica state that I had found out about with Rose; the subsequent attacks that led to the whole school being taken to a ski resort for safety; the events that led to the death of a student who had been one of Rose's best friends.

Lissa had looked up at our entrance. For a moment, she seemed to regret the interruption to our couple's night out, but the seriousness of the situation brought her back on track. "It's just like last year. Humans staked the wards; there had been a pre-Christmas party. Eighteen Moroi are dead, along with their twenty-four guardians. The raiding party must have been enormous. Hans says nothing short of forty Strigoi could have defeated this number of guardians."

"Who reported all this?" Rose demanded.

"Another guest arrived late; her guardian called immediately. Hans is sending out more guardians to search the area. The attack must have been minutes ago when the late guest arrived. They hope they can intercept the Strigoi mob to prevent them from attacking another house."

One of the guardians on the comm stations turned around and called out to Hans: "They found fifteen dead Strigoi in the building. One Moroi and one guardian are still alive. They are trying to stabilize them and bring them to a hospital."

"Survivors," Hans grunted. "There never were any before. This might help."

"Eighteen Moroi dead," Rose whispered.

"And twenty-four guardians," Christian added glumly. There was no sign of his usual sarcasm around him.

"Car four has arrived," another guardian reported curtly.

"That's twenty guardians now. They'll still be outnumbered if they find the Stigoi now," Lissa said nervously.

"Those are guardians that were in the vicinity and could be withdrawn when we found out about the attack," Christian explained. "The reinforcements from Court have only just left."

That meant they would need up to half an hour until they could join the dangerously small group on site.

"Can we go?" Of course Rose would ask this.

Hans refused. "No. You'll stay here for the queen. Some of her guardians have already joined the search party."

"Then there's nothing we can do but wait," Rose said darkly.

We joined Lissa and Christian in their corner. The comm stations were busy enough as it was; we couldn't help there. Amongst the stream of low hard words guardians were relaying over the phones, I could make out single stray words or phrases; they were calling up families and telling them to seek shelter in special secured areas. Over the buzz of voices, sporadic shouts rang out: "One-mile radius around estate secure." – "Injured guardian and Moroi arrived in Hospital safely." – "Two more Strigoi found dead outside the house." When the report of the arrival of the Court guardians came, we all breathed a sigh of relief; the danger to the group on site was much less grave with an additional forty guardians to support them.

Gradually, the guardians on the phone became quieter as the endangered Moroi families safely arrived at the gathering places.

"Where did you tell them to go?" I asked Hans. Wherever it was, the places would need a lot of extra security with the increased number of Moroi seeking shelter with them.

"A School," Hans said. "Briers' Field Academy. They don't have as many guardians as they should, but they're safe enough. Only some were close enough to Court to come here."

Those school guardians would be on high alert now.

"Are there any Moroi in the search party?" I asked. The last time guardian headquarters had send out guardians to actively seek out Strigoi, there had been Moroi fire users in the party. I didn't know details of this mission; I had been leading the group of Strigoi they had apprehended.

"Yes. Three of the squad," Hans said tightly. The thought of Moroi out there endangering themselves in the presence of Strigoi must still turn his stomach. Rose's and my heads both shot up to look at Christian; he was clenching his hands nervously, clearly as uncomfortable with having them in the line of fire as Hans was, if not more.

"Who?" Rose asked.

"Benny and Cole," he said. Fire users. "And Mia." Mia was a water user. Her impact on Strigoi was much less powerful than a fire user's.

"Mia," Rose said, alarmed. "Is she ready for this?"

"The guardians would only let those few go who they thought were ready to. The others would have too, but they wouldn't take them. Nor me."

Christian still hadn't fully recovered from his gunshot wound; taking him might have been an asset, as he was still hands down the best fire user the squad could offer, but being bodily handicapped, it would have been madness to let him go.

Lissa lay her hand over Christian's.

"They decided to come. It was their own decision," she told him softly.

He met her eyes briefly and gave a terse nod. "I'd just rather have been there myself when we'd see our first action."

I saw Rose and Lissa share a significant glance. Lissa was clearly glad he had had to stay, in spite of the danger to the other Moroi and guardians who were out there risking their lives.

Information still trickled in with agonizingly long times between. The search party had secured a four-mile radius around the intruded state. They would continue for no more than one mile. With increasing distance, there was increasingly more space to cover, and the hope to find the Stigoi sank.

The five-mile radius status update revealed no success; the mission was aborted. The guardians were ordered back into their cars to return to Court or their stations; neither the seasoned guardians nor the unbloodied Moroi warriors had seen any action.

* * *

**I feel like a jerk for having interrupted their romantic night… Sorry… **


	27. What?

LISSA

Unsurprisingly, the attack on the Lazar estate took much of the peaceful feel out of Christmas. Rose's dad came to see her; her mum couldn't, because she couldn't get away from her charge. Jill, Eddie and Adrian were still in Palm Springs; neither of them would see their families this Christmas. I had given my best to have the quorum law changed so that Jill could go home by Christmas, but all my pressuring hadn't achieved anything. We had made progress, but it wasn't nearly enough.

We had a cozy Christmas morning; Rose, Dimitri, Abe, Christian and me. Later, Mia dropped by, and Sonya and Mikhail joined us not long after her; they had had to shorten their honeymoon as a precaution, on account of the attack. Christmas with Abe was a remarkable affair. I had half expected him to show up in a bright red suit with white rims, imitating a Father Christmas outfit. He was even better than that: he wore a snowy white suit with a glittering golden shirt underneath. It coordinated wonderfully with his habitual golden earring, and gave him the impression of a cross between an angel come to earth to celebrate Christmas with us who hadn't really known what was appropriate to wear, and a TV show talk-master.

The Christmas holidays were also a holiday from my queenly duties. Except from one formal dinner with a few royals, there were no debates, meetings or whatever. I had nothing to do and didn't even need to have a bad conscience about it. I could lounge around with Christian, Rose and Dimitri all day; we had lots of Christmas sweets, hot chocolates, meals brought to us in my palace apartment; we still gushed about the wedding a lot, Rose and I fought about what classes to take next semester, and Rose and Christian had a pillow fight that ended in him on the floor covered with a room's pillows worth of feathers, and both of them in a fit of laughter that needed an hour to abate.

After the holidays, business slowly took up pace again, but it was still a lot more relaxed than it had been the last month. Christian started training again, the whole group newly invigorated by almost getting to fight in real life. I got to watch them several times; they had moved to practice with stakes now, and their magical fighting methods were much more elaborate than last I'd seen them.

January began cold and snowy, and brought with it the first reminders that with the new semester at college starting soon, Rose and I would soon be back to weekend-relationships and stressful days filled with work and college for me and standing behind me and college for Rose. We were both getting a little nostalgic already, not wanting this time with our partners and free time to end.

With less than a week to go until classes resumed, I found myself sitting in an early morning briefing and zoning out under the influence of the board members' droning voices. They were going over the schedule for the next few weeks with me, telling me what required my presence and informing me about the things that didn't, but that might interest me still. There would be another discussion of the quorum law; some royals had created a petition against changing it and had pushed for a hearing. Then there were some committee meetings that would discuss possible new ways to regulate dhampir assignments to Moroi, indicating ways for dhampir couples to stay together and dhampir women to work part time so that more of them could be persuaded to work while raising a child. I spaced out when talk was about Moroi guest housing innovations, forcing myself to stay with the speaker enough to notice new topics coming up. I immediately jerked to full awareness at the next one.

"The trial for Natasha Ozera will begin on January 28. The accused will be brought here up to three weeks in advance. The exact date of her displacement will not be made known until she arrives in Court jail so as to prevent attempts to assault her or free her on the way."

"What?" I asked stupidly. "I thought it wasn't until February!" Had I forgotten about Tasha again?

"It was scheduled to begin in February, but has been moved forwards to make time for the trials and hearing of the Moroi water user attackers. I hope this doesn't inconvenience her majesty?"

"No, no… I just wasn't prepared… " I stammered. In truth, this hit me like a sledgehammer. Tasha had been brought to Tarasov for the time until her trial started, because having her in Court prison drew much needed guardian forces away from other duties. She had been out of my mind, and thankfully, out of Christian's, too. Tarasov had really strict rules on visiting inmates, and he had not been allowed to see her. I think this had made it much easier for him to get her out of his thoughts than the constant strain of bearing witness to his aunt's slow decay behind prison bars.

"Would you like me to put this on your timetable, your majesty? It can still be moved to a weekend day."

"Um. Yes, put it on my timetable, please. We'll see about moving it."

"Good. That was the last item on the agenda for today. I will convey you the altered schedule for the next month at the soonest possible time."

"Thank you," I murmured absent-mindedly.

I waved, and the numerous advisors and aids shuffled out of the room until it was only Rose and me left inside. I felt her hand on my shoulder as soon as everyone had gone.

"Tasha again, huh?" she said, plopping into one of the vacated chairs beside me. I put my head in my hands briefly.

"I'll have to tell Christian," I groaned. "I hope he can deal with this. Trial means that her execution can't be far away now."

"Oh," said Rose. "Right."

"I know it's been coming ever since she was found out, but then the prospect of her death had always been far away in the future. This makes it so real all of a sudden."

"Well, she brought this onto herself," Rose said in a hard voice.

"I know. And there's nothing I can do about it. It's just that it feels like I'm condemning her to death by not doing anything against it."

"No. Don't think like that, Lissa. I know it's hard to watch Christian go through this, but he has to understand that there's nothing you can do."

"He does. He practically begged me not to get myself involved. But the fact remains that a person is sentenced to death under my rule. She dies because I condone."

Rose snorted at this. "Liss, now you really want to save the whole world at once. You have so much on your plate right now, and you're doing amazing. You can't really blame yourself for not abolishing the death sentence for a piece of crap like Tasha."

I think I gave Rose a pretty weird look at her rant, but I didn't contradict her. Her anger at the woman was more than justified.

I sighed. "I think I'd better tell Christian right away. There's no point in postponing it."

"Want me to get you guys some privacy?"

"That would be nice."

We left the room and stopped in our tracks.

The palace lobby was being flooded with guardians. Not only my usual contingent, but Court patrols and others too. They were zipping in and out of the palace in a flutter of efficient nervousness, as if preparing for an attack on the building. I found Serena in the flurry; she was craning her neck and looking around frantically.

"Serena! What's up, what's with all the guardians?"

She was immediately by my side; I realized it had been me she'd been looking for.

"Your majesty, Guardian Hathaway - You are to retreat to the safety chamber immediately. There appears to be an attack."


	28. Survive

**Oh guys. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm killing so many people with this chapter. Please, I'm begging you to review me on this! I really really really need to know whether I'm going all King Joffrey on this! **

**Oh my. Here we go. **

DIMITRI

The newly fallen snow was crunching under our boots as Christian and I trudged up our way to the parking garage. It had snowed every day for the last three days; only a little each time, but it had been so cold that the snow stayed on the ground. Up here, the white blanket was still almost flawless. Traffic in and out of Court had been minimal with the bad driving conditions and the lingering feel of holiday that permeated January in a place where many people didn't need to do actual work to earn a living.

Christian and I were on an errant for the Moroi fighting team: they needed some special equipment in order to properly practice their magic going against a moving and attacking target. So far, they had attacked practice dummies; we had literally burned through most of our stock at a pretty fast rate, mostly due to Christian's lack of restraint when it came to fire attacks. But in order to learn to react to a Strigoi with magic, they needed more than immobile dummies. Today, we were looking for material to fashion into fireproof protective wear that a guardian could use to survive a fire user's attack unharmed.

"How about you drive and I dry the road in front of the car?" Christian suggested merrily. "Safest possible winter driving ever."

"And I'm sure no one would notice the trail in the snow we would leave behind," I remarked.

"Everyone would put it down to my car's engine being on fire. Good thing it looks like it could spontaneously combust at any moment."

"Now I honestly don't know whether you're serious or joking."

He grinned. "Why, perfectly serious of course. Wouldn't dare to make a joke in front of Mr. Poker face."

I didn't honor this with a response. We had reached the parking lot now, anyway. Shaking the snow from our boots, we got into the little car, where it was no warmer than outside. Christian turned the key in the ignition and received a throttled choke as a response. He tried again – same result.

"I guess your car hasn't been made for winter," I commented dryly. Christian tried again and again furiously. But to no avail. The poor old car just had nothing to brave the twenty degree cold that we've been having since December.

Christian slammed the steering wheel in frustration.

"Well," I said, undisturbed. "Maybe we better go and sign out a guardian car. Or do you want to wait for spring to come and yours to start again?"

He gave up and followed me out of the car. He patted the dark red hood of the car sadly as he slammed the driver's door shut. If he had had any more knowledge about how to care for a car, I would have seen a striking resemblance to Sydney's habit of naming and babying her vehicles.

"Shops will be closed by the time we get going," he complained. It was early vampiric morning, not long after sunset, which meant that for humans, working hours would be over soon.

"Want to postpone to tomorrow?"

"No. Let's use the time Lissa and Rose are in meetings. We can-"

He had paused abruptly as a response to me grabbing his arm in a clear gesture to be quiet.

We both stood perfectly still for a moment. When he didn't see why I'd stopped him, he asked in a whisper: "What's wrong?"

I could only shake my head silently. It was as if my hand had shot out by itself; I had reacted to something so small that I wasn't really sure what I had seen. There had been something to perturb my senses, but I did not know what.

My body tensed and ready to jump into action, I stared out into the open field between the parking garage and the Court exit road. And then I saw it.

The door to one of the booths for the traffic guardians stood open. There was hardly any wind; it didn't sway in its hinges and made no sound. But it should not be open.

And on the ground underneath the open door, a growing puddle of blood.

The instant my mind connected the pieces of the puzzle, I shoved Christian back into the shadow of a pillar holding up the second story of the garage. Adrenaline cursed through my body. My mind was racing, thinking over the best ways to get Christian to safety and to warn guardian headquarters at the same time. This was not good. Not good at all.

"Someone killed the exit guards," I hissed. "This means that someone might illicitly have entered Court. And they're not friendly."

"We need to warn guardian headquarters." Christian immediately understood. Then his eyes went wide. "Do you hear that?"

"What?" I didn't hear anything; Moroi had better hearing than dhampirs.

"Footsteps. Many."

I inched around the pillar to take a look towards the road again. Hidden in the shadows, I could risk peeking out.

What I saw made my insides freeze over in fear.

I was not an easily frightened person. I had seen death in the eye several times. I had fought Strigoi, I had been in a major battle. I had been killed by a Strigoi before he turned me into one of them. I had watched the love of my life bleeding her life out on the floor of a palace ballroom. There was little that could still make my skin crawl, and most were things that lived only in my memory. But this – this made me want to run. This made my stomach drop down to my knees in an icy knot of panic, made my heart stop beating for long enough to make me gasp for air, knocked my breath away so that I could not even do that. This made me afraid for more than my life. This made me afraid for the lives of every single living soul in Court, the queen, Rose, Christian, dhampirs, Moroi alike. Afraid for both of my races.

Marching through the open and unprotected gates of the heart of Moroi and dhampir society were rows and rows of Strigoi.

An army was coming at us.

I pressed against the cold stone pillar, holding my breath, trying to suppress the wild panic rising up within me. Christian was staring at me, reading the extent of our doom in my face but unable to understand. Before I could thaw my frozen limbs, he had edged his head out to see for himself.

His reaction must have looked much like mine had. He froze up. I pulled him back into the tenuous safety of the shadows; his eyes were wide and wild, filled with undiluted fear. His breath sounded choked. I wasn't sure if he was seeing me right now, or whether the picture behind his eyes was still that of hundreds of Strigoi marching into the sanctity of our world.

We had to act. My mind started rational calculation without consulting my conscious: if I left Christian behind, my chances of getting the warning out to headquarters would be bigger. If we lost Christian, we would lose an important asset when it would come to a fight. And it would come to a fight. My conscience caught up with my thoughts just as the rational decision was made; of course I wouldn't leave Christian behind, both parts screamed.

I took hold of his shoulders and gave him a good shake. His wide blue eyes focused on me.

"We need to get to headquarters. Do you hear me? You can't panic now."

He nodded, dazedly.

I thrust my head around the corner once again, to take note of the location of the masses of Strigoi. Again, my mind was almost scared stiff at the sight of them. With a violent effort, I shoved my emotions away. I forced my breathing to continue regularly, my heart to go on beating.

They were still about six hundred feet away from us. Not much for creatures with excellent hearing and unnatural speed. I couldn't make a phone call from here. They would hear the phone's dialing tone and kill me before guardian headquarters had even picked up. We would have to creep through the parking garage, hoping that their footsteps would cover ours and that we would be fast enough with the detour we'd be making. Hopefully, we could –

Too late. A head had turned towards us. We must have made a noise. Two Strigoi at the head of the army were pointing at where we were hidden.

I had thought there was nothing worse than an army of Strigoi entering Court. I had been wrong. There was still the prospect of an army of Strigoi entering Court finding and chasing me and Christian with no protection and no hope to win a fight at all.

I wasted no more time watching. I drew back just to grab Christian's arm and shout at him to run.

It was lucky he was fast reacting. Stumbling at first when I dragged him with me, he realized what had happened. He was running all out within seconds, the two of us shooting out of the parking garage in plain view of the Strigoi. Speed was the only thing that could save us now.

I knew why I made my students run. They might complain, they might not see the reason behind the endless laps around the turf. But now, the reason for running was right at our heels. Several hundred Strigoi broke into a run behind us.

And dear me were we racing. Approximately two miles separated the heart of Court from the outpost at the exit. It was these two miles that we needed to survive in order to get a message out. To get the message out on time to make a difference, we would have to put the army of Strigoi behind us. We would have to outrace them. A feat practically impossible. Strigoi were fast. We had a head start of barely six hundred feet, and it was dwindling rapidly.

We were bolting at full tilt, barreling over lawns, roads and squares. With the snow covering the ground and hiding obstacles, it was a wonder we hadn't broken our legs yet. Christian was tearing alongside me, his speed matching mine. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep this up; Moroi were fast in the sprint, but lacked endurance for the long haul. As the thoughts started to race in my mind again – how would we be able to warn headquarters? I couldn't use my phone at this speed, and if I stopped, I would be dead before the call was made. Weren't we speeding up the arrival of the Strigoi more than slowing them, in making us pursue them? – Christian threw his hand out behind him. I didn't risk my balance to turn around, but the wave of heat and the chorus of screams told me that fire had impeded the Strigois' advance. He had given us a chance; we were putting more distance between us and the Strigoi.

We sped on. With still a mile to go until headquarters, the first buildings came into view, and with them, blessedly, people. Guardians. Guardians with the same look of utter panic, complete and absolute panic on their faces.

"Run ahead!" I screamed at them. "Run! Get warning out!"

They reacted. Two of them turned and ran immediately. One of them took out his phone; with the additional distance between them and the Strigoi, he could make the call.

"Dimitri!" I heard Christian call out. He was still close behind me.

"Keep going!" I shouted.

"We need to delay them!"

My response got stuck in my throat when I heard the skidding of feet on gravel. I broke my run, too, and, turning, saw the picture a guardian's worst nightmares were made of. Christian stood facing rows upon rows of monsters, advancing at a speed that would carry them onto him in seconds.

Then, he forcefully crossed his arms in front of him and opened them wide in a thrust. A wall of fire spread out, blocking the path of the approaching Strigoi.

A wall of fire. Probably the only thing that could possibly stop such a number of Strigoi. The only thing they were afraid of.

I heard their angry shouts from behind the wall. It would slow them down considerably, but Christian could not hold the blockade forever. There were buildings to the left and right from us; enough room was left for the Strigoi to get past the fire, and they would find other ways, too.

More guardians were streaming out of the buildings. I only now realized that it was nowhere else but guardian housing that we had stopped in front of. Everyone who had been in there came pouring out onto the street. Someone must have pulled the alarm. Most would be at work now, but there were enough here to put up a fight.

But first, they had to get ready to fight. They were showing the inevitable signs of shock at this atrocious sight. The masses of Strigoi were barely visible behind the flames, but enough to get a sense of their sheer numbers.

Guardians were trained to react fast to a threat. They see a Strigoi, they kill it. But all the training in the world could not prevent us from freezing up at the sight of this. When there were many Strigoi to fight, guardians went out with a plan. They would have sat down and drawn out a way to proceed; everyone would have their place in the team and know what they had to do.

There was no plan now. No one knew what to do. And someone had to take charge.

I raised my voice to a ferocious roar loud enough for everyone to hear. "KEEP THEM FROM GETTING THROUGH! BLOCK ALL WAYS TO CENTER!"

Then I turned to Christian, who was entirely focused on the fire in front of him. His hands spread wide, he had taken a firm stance, feet planted on the ground and leaning forwards. There was no trace of panic in his face now. Only grim determination.

"How long will you be able to keep this up?"

"A while," he said. "I'm using light fire. If they jump through, it will hardly burn them."

And indeed, the first ones were daring the leap. A Strigoi was breaking the flames not ten feet from where I was standing with Christian. The guardians were organizing by now; the Strigoi found a quick death. I realized how brilliant Christian's technique was: as long as they were breaching his wall one by one, they would be easy to take out.

A line of guardians had formed parallel to the wall of fire. More Strigoi were coming through, but they were disoriented by the flames, and made for easy kills. One lept out directly in front of us. I jumped in front of Christian to engage him, and staked him in a matter of seconds. Christian completely ignored all fights around him. Even if this immense show of light didn't cost him much energy, it did require concentration. He wouldn't be able to defend himself at the same time.

"Shield the fire user!" I bellowed to the guardians in my vicinity. They caught on quickly, and three joined me in forming a protective circle around Christian.

Shouts were ringing out from behind us as well, now. News had reached guardian headquarters. Every guardian in Court, be they on duty or off, under Court authority or assigned to a Moroi, would be on alert now. Strategies would be formed in a hurry; Hans would leave his mind exactly one second to reel, then he would snap into alert and be the efficient handler of emergencies we needed a head guardian to be. Lissa would be shut off in the safest place available in the whole of Court. Rose would be with her. Every single guardian would have the shock of is life before the realization that he was required to act hit.

But all of this was not my concern now. For me, the fight had already started. And these few moments that we could halt the avalanche advancing into Court might be crucial to the organization of defenses in headquarters. Every second might mean there was one more defensive mechanism in place. Every second might be one more guardian armed and alert and ready. What we were doing now might very well be the decisive moment for the outcome of the whole battle.

Christian's hands were starting to shake. Despite his claims, he wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. We had about done what we could here.

I didn't know if we would survive the onslaught of Strigoi that would undoubtedly overrun us once the wall was down. But sooner or later, we would have to take our chances. There were more and more Strigoi jumping through the fire; they had seen that the others weren't harmed by it, but rather taken out by the guardians behind it. The wall became less and less useful. We needed Christian to take part in the fights now.

"Stop the fire when I say it," I said only loud enough for him to hear. Louder, to all the guardians, I shouted: "Prepare to go all out!"

Then I gave the signal. "Now."

The fire went out. The full impact of the Strigoi's sheer masses hit us as they came into plain view. At the same time as they started to charge us, hundreds of them at the same time, a battalion of guardians came running up to us from the other side; Hans had send reinforcement. We were nowhere near their numbers, but we would put up more of a fight.

I braced myself as the first Strigoi reached me. He didn't attack me; he ran straight past me. They were trying to infiltrate the center of Court. I couldn't stop him as another one assaulted me, coming at me with the brute force of an untrained, young Strigoi. I made short work of him. We were drowning in Strigoi; they were everywhere, we were outnumbered at least ten to one. Flames erupted on all sides of me as Christian was trying to assist as many guardians in their fight as possible. It occurred to me that many Strigoi must have gotten around the wall of fire and now around us; there must be several fights breaking out all over Court by now.

With the Strigoi trying to get past us, not to kill us, many managed to slip by us unhindered. All guardians were engaged with at least one opponent and could not prevent the stream of monsters entering Court center. Soon, we were the last outpost of fights. Behind us, chaos broke out as skirmishes between Strigoi and guardians ensued everywhere. I saw fires lightning up in the distance. Christian was not the only Moroi who had joined the fight.

Christian and I were fighting side by side, back to back; he reaching out with flames to where it would bother a Strigoi most, me and the others moving in for the kill. He economized his energy well, only incinerating a Strigoi that came too close too fast for me to take out. Other than that, he used a minimum of power to achieve a maximum of effect: tiny flickers of flame directly in front of a Strigoi's eyes, making it seem like he was covered in flames for him; bites to the face or hands, wherever skin showed; flames timed exactly to when a Strigoi was coming at me and showing an opening, making it all the easier for me to stake. Bodies were piling up around us.

Gradually, the fray dimmed. We had killed all the Strigoi that had remained behind to deal with us. Now, the fights went on elsewhere.

The brief respite gave us time to coordinate verbally for the first time.

"The palace," I said. "They want to do damage, that's where they'll go."

"I need to find the other Moroi. Don't know whether they've paired up with guardians," Christian replied equally as curt.

"Center," I decided. We set off in a jog to find a fight where we were needed.

What was going on in the heart of Court was only to be described as war. The central fountain square in front of the palace was crawling with Guardians and Strigoi alike. Bodies were strewn all over the ground already; the surprise of the first onslaught had claimed its victims. Opponents in ferocious fights covered every inch of the forecourt. The sound of clashing and punching, screams, yells and bellows created an uproar. Sporadic fires had caught on Strigoi still standing and fighting, or blazing on the ones lying on the ground. They were illuminating the darkness with their unsteady orange light, casting even more of a notion of doom on the scene.

The palace was still firmly surrounded by lines of guardians. No Strigoi had perpetrated the sanctity of Court yet. The palace was the underlying reason Christian and I had joined the fray here: this was where Lissa had been when the attack started. She would still be inside. Rose would be with her.

This was what we both wanted to protect above all else, so much more than our own lives.

Defense was chaos. Only the line of guardians in front of the palace had some resemblance of order. The rest was one-on-one fights with no purpose other than surviving the opponent at hand. The instant we neared the fray, three Strigoi jumped us at the same time. Assuming our fighting stance, we set to work killing as many of them as we could manage. Moving closer into the throng, I noticed some Moroi faces, looking scared – scared for their lives. After all, they had never been truly prepared for a real one-on-one Strigoi encounter. This was way over their heads. I staked a Strigoi about to swoop down on a tiny figure crouched on the ground. When I pulled her up, I recognized Mia, her face stained with dirt and tears.

"MIA!" Christian set fire to a Strigoi attacking him head-on; using the brief respite the blazing form in front of him gave him, he gripped Mia by the shoulders and shook her vigorously.

"Get a grip!" he shouted over the racket. "This is what you trained for! Use what you learned!"

She looked at him wide eyed. "There's too little water," she whimpered.

"Go to the fountain!" he screamed. "Use the melted snow!"

He let go of her to ignite the hair of a Strigoi that came dangerously close to me, and had no more time for Mia as we were surrounded by opponents. I noticed him glancing around, making out the other members of his team in the throng. Most of them seemed just as overwhelmed as Mia.

"They need you to organize them," I shouted over my shoulder. They had no guidance in this; most of them had no guardian to look out for them. I hoped most of them were even still alive. Red eyes gleamed in the firelight as a snarling monster almost clawed out my eye. I staved off the creatures ferocious attacks until I found an opening to stake it. Once again, Christian gave himself a second to breathe by lighting up a Strigoi in a blaze.

"WATER USERS! TO THE FOUNTAIN!" he roared in a voice strong enough for those in the vicinity to hear over the fighting. "EARTH USERS! Off the asphalt and onto the lawn! Air users draw back! Attack from a distance! EVERYONE! PAIR UP WITH A GUARDIAN!"

I hoped the Moroi did what he told them; we couldn't see the effects of his commands, because there was simply too much chaos for a good overview.

"I need to look for all of them," he yelled to me over his shoulder.

"Let's move," I gave back.

Blazing a trail through the crush of bodies, we fought our way deeper into the fray. Whenever we found a Moroi, Christian directed him to the others or found a guardian to pair up with them. Slowly, the Moroi defense team took on order. The air users gathered to support each other, finding spots where they could be of most use. Around their exposed positions, I organized guardian forces to form a protective shield.

Of all the trained Moroi, the fire users were the only ones with enough power against Strigoi to stand their ground in the middle of the fight. The other elemental users needed distance, because they couldn't actually kill a Strigoi with their magic if the need arose. Christian and the other fire users had a walk-over with that; they would simply burn a Strigoi to ashes. If they had been able to do this without a limit, this fight would find an end within minutes. To our great disadvantage, they couldn't. A few more of these kills, and Christian's energy would be depleted. That's why pairing up with a guardian was a crucial strategy for the Moroi. They could facilitate a guardian's fight a million times, but they were unsuitable to do the kills themselves.

Magic started to fill the air around us as the Moroi gathered their wits to join the fight. Lumps of earth flew at Strigoi when they were about to strike out; water encased their heads, making them temporarily blind. Air made hair and snow fly into eyes, and blasted against hands raised to strike. And amongst all this, the fires, blazing up in every possible way.

The Strigoi were simply too many, though. There had been hundreds attacking us. Maybe they didn't exceed the total numbers of guardians in Court, but they had had the element of surprise. What made our fight harder was that there were still Moroi out, hiding behind walls at the edges of the fighting scenes, scared half out of their minds. They had been caught by the attack outdoors, and not all had managed to run to safety behind guardian defense lines. Now we needed to spare men to shield them as well, men who couldn't enter the fight where they were needed most. Things were not looking good for us.

"The trees," Christian yelled. A Strigoi swiped at my leg, hitting it hard before I could reflect the hit. The next second, his eyes had caught fire, and he did nothing to ward off my stake. "If I could lay fire to them, we can use them as rear cover and don't need to watch our backs!"

A female Strigoi brandishing a log missed Christian's head by inches. I kicked her legs out from under her and moved in for the kill while her log hit another Strigoi in the head, directed by an air user.

"Do it," I roared.

Together, we neared the scrawny trees that grew in green islands in the middle of the palace forecourt one by one. The first one sizzled and steamed, but didn't catch until a nearby water user extracted some of the moisture from it. In a similar way, Christian lit up several of the trees, and guardians sought shelter beside them.

Christian was breathing heavily by the time his work was done.

"Do you need a break?" I asked.

"No," he panted. "I can keep going."

We had ended up at the edge of the battle, darkness boarding our backs. A rustle sounded from around the corner of the building we were standing beside. I perked up my ears.

"Let's look at this. If there are Strigoi, who knows what they're up to," I said.

We barreled around the corner, not bothering with stealth this time. There were a handful of Strigoi, apparently trying to scale the building. It was an administrative building where I presumed a lot of Moroi had taken shelter in. They must be after all the powerful Moroi blood.

Christian was already setting fire to the first one's clothes .I charged them, hoping to use the moment of surprise to kill one or two, when suddenly, the fires vanished. I turned around in alarm, expecting to see a Strigoi we had not seen attacking Christian, but he was just standing there, an expression of shock on his face that was all too similar to when he had first seen the masses of Strigoi.

Then I heard the voice, and I immediately understood.

"There we have you two. I have been looking for you."

I was staring into red-rimmed eyes that once been a piercing blue. They were returning my gaze from between thick tangles of long, black hair.

Tasha.

Tasha was here. And she had been turned Strigoi.

She was approaching Christian as if she had nothing in the world to fear. The smile on her too familiar face had nothing in common with the kindness I had once seen radiating from it. At a leisurely saunter, she strolled over to her nephew, who was completely frozen in place. His eyes had gone wide. He was doing nothing to defend himself.

"Christian! Move!" I shouted, while charging the Strigoi nearest to me. I couldn't see Christian while I fought, but I could see no lights erupting. Other Strigoi helped the one I had picked, a rare show of teamwork for them. I was surrounded by four, and Christian was no help. I caught a glimpse of him retreating from Tasha's approaching form, but I had no time to care. The four Strigoi were attacking me at the same time; they were closing in on me dangerously, as I had let them too close in my distraction. Never hesitate, I had told Rose countless of times. Never hesitate. It was how I had captured her in Russia: she had hesitated.

This time, I had hesitated. I was paying the price for it. One of them got hold of my arm as I was drawing it out for a punch. I kicked back, crouching down to make him lose his balance, but another one was aiding him, and with my limited moving space, I couldn't hold the others off properly. A third one got hold of my other arm, my arm holding the stake. I struggled desperately, but with four Strigoi clinging on me, I had no chance. I was captured.

"Don't worry, they're not going to hurt you. You are reserved for me," Tasha told me in a voice that made my skin crawl. How could a voice be so recognizable, yet so fundamentally changed?

Immobilized, I could only watch as Tasha kept closing in on Christian. He was stumbling backwards, where his back soon met a wall. On his face, there was still desperate incredulity: the realization of what he saw, and the desperate attempt not to believe it.

"Christian," Tasha said. There was an odd, empty kind of cheerfulness in her voice. "How could we have been so wrong?"

He shook his head ever so slightly. Whether as a sign of disagreement or an attempt to clear his head, I did not know.

"Lucas and Moira were so right. And there we were, refusing to see what they had so clearly shown us."

"Christian!" I yelled. "Christian, MOVE!"

As a response, I received a sharp kick in my back from a Strigoi. A little harder and my spine would have been broken. I dropped to my knees, unable to stand through the pain.

Christian's eyes had moved to me at my scream. The look on his face grew even more desperate as he saw my predicament. Still, I hadn't managed to unfreeze him. He made no move to defend himself. With his back to the wall, he flinched back from the being that had once been his aunt.

"You know what I will do now. I will keep you. I would like you to see reason before, though. I want you to agree to it."

Some life seemed to get back into Christian now. "No…." he forced out. It didn't sound like an answer to her demand. It sounded more as if his first reaction to seeing Tasha finally broke its way: No. This cannot be happening.

"Ah, I thought you might be hard to convince. This doesn't keep me from turning you, of course."

Tasha neared him even further. There were barely two feet between them now. He still wasn't doing anything.

Despite the punch that I knew was coming, and although I didn't know whether Christian could even hear me, I raised my voice again: "Do something! Don't let her get closer! Christian, defend…" That was all I could manage before a fist connected heavily with my jaw.

Tasha reached her hand out to grab him. She would drain him of blood, empty him of the very last drop of it; then she would feed her own Strigoi blood back to him. Seconds after this, another monster with red eyes would stand in front of me. Christian's ice blue eyes would look at me with a red circle around them, and all the good and moral and courage within him would be gone. With a roar, I renewed my struggle against my captors. To no avail.

Just as Tasha's hand had almost reached his collar, Christian sprang into motion. Using the wall in his back to push himself off, he planted a kick in the middle of Tasha's chest, catapulting her a few feet away from him. The desperation and incredulity in his expression mixed with both defeat and determination; the acceptance that there was nothing else he could do but fight.

Tasha's expression darkened at his resistance. Her carefully neutral face changed to furious and hostile in an instant.

"Did you not understand me?" she snarled. "We were wrong. Your parents had it right. We were fighting for the wrong thing for our whole lives. So stop making a fuss and let me do what I will do anyway."

"No," he said again, this time in response to her. "No way."

"I never know what an insolent little brat you were," Tasha spat.

And then she charged him.

Tasha had had combat training as a Moroi; it made her a better fighter as a Strigoi, as well. Her movements were fluid and purposeful as she jumped towards him, aiming to punch at his head. He ducked, making her fist collide with the wall, and giving him an opportunity to free himself from his restrained position. Though frozen in shock just a second ago, there was no hesitation visible in his movements now. I saw him employ moves from training flawlessly, executing a series of defenses that kept Tasha a good distance away as she attacked him again and again, without respite. I watched their battle paralyzed, following their moves breathlessly. Tasha's Strigoi strength clearly made her get the upper hand in the fight; Christian was on the defensive more and more, using his speed to keep the blows from coming at him. Why wasn't he using his magic? After turning Strigoi, Tasha was cut off from her magic. This was the one advantage he had; it was the one thing that made him able to survive in battle! He could have Tasha incinerated in a few seconds. Why wasn't he doing it?

There was a brief respite in the fight during which the opponents stood facing each other. Christian's breathing was heavy; a few more minutes of this, and he would be done for. Tasha's bloody red eyes gleamed with satisfaction at seeing his obvious distress.

"There's no avoiding it, nephew. You and I, we will pair up in this second, awakened life as well. Make sure to keep this temper of yours in check, though. Unruliness can get you into quite a fix with Strigoi."

She was taunting him. And she was getting to him, too. I could see the desperation returning to his eyes, quenching the fight that had come to him.

They were circling each other, looking for an opening. Apparently, Tasha was not so sure of her victory as I had thought, or she would try to make short work of him.

"Did you do it yourself?" Christian suddenly asked in a voice that had nothing of the stress of battle in it. Instead, there was a desperate seriousness in his tone. "Did you want to turn? Did you turn voluntarily?"

Tasha's face distorted into an unholy grin. "Of course you would want to know that, wouldn't you?" she sneered. "Well if it's so important to you to know: yes. Yes, I turned myself. I turned voluntarily."

Inside of me, everything clenched into a tight, painful knot. How could this situation become any worse? This answer wouldn't fail to have an effect on Christian. Would he be defeated? Would he give up? Or would it invigorate his fight?

At first, I thought all the fight had left him at once. He was back to retreating from Tasha, eyes wide and sad. She seemed to gain conviction of her ability to vanquish him, moving in speedily with outstretched hands to grab him. She jumped at him fast, and, sneering contemptuously, reached him. But then her body jerked to a stop. They were so close they could have been hugging, had one of them not been a monster straight from hell. I could see Christian's face from my position of the ground; it was tense but calm. It was only when he drew back his arm with a jerk that I realized what had happened.

Christian had staked his aunt.

My captors seemed to realize this only a moment later. That was when Christian's gaze turned to them, and there was nothing of the scared and helpless Moroi in them he had appeared to be in the beginning. Now, fury showed in his fiercely blue eyes, and sparks of determination flew from them. The Strigoi hadn't even realized that they had better let me go in order to have their hands free to defend themselves from Christian when they started to go up in flames like dry wood. The fires started on their heads, giving me just enough times to break free and join Christian's side when their whole bodies burst in flames, incinerating them in a matter of seconds.

Christian was standing with his face to the flames, staring down at them until they had burned out to glowing embers. The transformation he had gone under within seconds was stupendous; now, he looked like an avenging spirit, his face bathed in the light of fire and his eyes glinting with fury and resolve. His hand still clenched the bloody stake. He must have taken it from a fallen guardian without me noticing.

For a second, we stood facing each other, measuring the other's state with a glance. Then he strode past me, rejoining the battle on the open square without so much as a second glance to the Strigoi body that had once been his aunt's, lying broken on the ground.

...

He had almost reached the fight again when jerked him to a halt.

"Christian!"

"Yes?" he hissed.

I know he had just seen his family die. Heck, he had just seen his family die by his own hands. God knows there were not many things in this world that could give a person deeper scars. But with the battle still raging on and him rejoining it, he could not allow himself to be anything but fully concentrated. Or he would be just as dead as Tasha soon.

"Are you ready to go back?"

He didn't look at me, but he nodded, silently. I studied him attentively. He had just incinerated four more Strigoi, after the exertion of everything else he had done in the battle. I had lost count of how much magic he had used.

"You need to economize your strength," I said.

"I will," he replied tersely.

And those were all the words we could share, because hundreds of Strigoi were still fighting in front of the palace. The square was still the chaos of fire, bodies, clashes, screams and death that it had been when we left it. We jumped back into the fray, burning and killing, staking and flaming, until the faces of my attackers started to blur into a smudge and everything on my mind was to fight and kill, kick, hit, stake, defend. I didn't know how many guardians were still standing; I didn't know how many Strigoi were. We could have been the last two living defenders of Court for all I knew, and at times, it almost felt like it. The fights were spreading out. There were not nearly as many guardians as there had been before. Smoke clouded the air, making it difficult to see or breathe. The fires illuminated the darkness only in their vicinity, plunging the rest of the world in even more profound darkness.

I didn't know how long this battle raged. Christian and I fought on, both of us exerting our powers to the extreme. My muscles continued moving beyond their physical limit; Christian's fire continued to spring up despite his energy limit; we kept going because we had to, because to falter would mean certain death.

We had killed so many Strigoi already. How could there be so many more? It seemed like an endless stream of opponents confronted us, hacking away at us without a moment's pause. Two came at me at once, one going at my head, one at my legs. I evaded both, rounding the one and staking him from the back. The other exchanged blows with me, managing to land a painful punch on my arm before my silver found its aim.

It was then that I felt Christian stumble behind me; the energy depletion was finally taking its toll. I wanted to turn around and examine him when a group of at least ten Strigoi appeared out of nowhere. They must have stayed out of the fight so far, for they looked fit and unbloodied. I engaged three in a fight at the same time, timing my blows so as to send them hindering each other. In my back, Christian staggered. Still, flames flickered in the eyes of two Strigoi, making them easy targets for my stake. I tackled a fourth, when I realized the others had circled me and were attacking Christian directly. He warded them off, but his fires had become weaker and less precise. One came at him at a run, kicking his legs out from under him. He fell, and I threw myself between him and the attackers. But the fight forced me to move away from him; more Strigoi came, attacking me, and soon I had completely lost sight of Christian.

Around me, whatever guardians that were still capable of defense were immersed in their own fights, some still in teams with Moroi fighters, but the Moroi had almost all disappeared from the fight. As I danced around an attacker, my gaze fell on the face of a Moroi girl lying on the ground between bodies of Strigoi and guardians. Her eyes were wide open, staring blindly up at the sky.

In a brief respite between onslaughts, I raced back to where I had seen Christian fall. The ground was covered with bodies; I couldn't discern dhampir, Moroi and Strigoi in this mess. My heart started to pick up speed.

"Christian!" I shouted. I moved among the bodies, turning them around, searching for him. "CHRISTIAN!"

Where in the beginning there had been fires everywhere, fighting Moroi and dhampir partners crowding in on us wherever we looked, there now were only wafts of smoke. It couldn't be far from sunrise. I hoped it wasn't far from sunrise. If we survived the night, we would survive this battle. But Christian might already not have survived the night. I called his name frantically, moving among the fallen bodies.

My search was interrupted by the charge of another big group of Strigoi. They were running north, out of the heart of Court and towards the exit. Were they leaving?

Their destination didn't matter to me as long as they were attacking me; I dealt out hits against all directions at once. I was so tired. And they were so many. There didn't seem to be many more guardians left aside from me. Fists shot out at me from all sides. Kicks found their mark, leaving bruises and more. Hands grabbed me. I saw the log fly out at me at the last second. I threw up my hands to stop it, but I only succeeded in slowing it. When it collided with my head, numbness flooded me momentarily, and I crumbled to the ground as if all my bones had been removed from my body. The last things I saw were ironically what I had hoped for most the second before: a sliver of light on the eastern sky, and a blaze of fire going right over my head.

* * *

**WHAT DO YOU THINK?! **

**Desperate author writing the chapter of her life and really needing some feedback here!**


	29. The Agony of Uncertainty

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter! **

**I'm sorry this update took longer than usually, I didn't intentionally leave you with this cliffhanger ;-) **

LISSA

It was more than excruciating. This was a new torture designed to affect those who love. Rose and I were locked within a twenty-by-twenty feet bunker, cut off from the outside world, encased by cement that was unbreakable even by Strigoi hands. The little room was located in the depths of the palace cellar, a Strigoi-safe room that had been built long ago, at a time when guardian numbers made an actual Strigoi attack a thing of nightmares and nothing else. Until now, I hadn't even known it existed.

Serena was with us, guardian protocol apparently requiring two guardians to be with the current ruling monarch when this room was used. I'm not sure, but I think that I might be the first monarch who actually needed the bunker. And I still didn't have a good understanding of why I needed it.

Serena had a special two way radio set that was wired through all the concrete so that she could receive signals from guardian headquarters. So far, however, news that got through were garbled, consisting mainly of voices we heard talking in the room, while there seemed to be no one on the other end talking specifically to us.

But the one word that had hummed through the frenzy of guardians in the palace when we were taken here, the one word that could make any guardian stand in their bed when you whispered it in their ear in the middle of the night, the one word that we had been taught to fear from our earliest memory on – that word was enough to make our blood run cold with fear: Stigoi.

Those were Serena's only words when she ushered us away from the palace doors: There are Stirgoi attacking. Stigoi on Court. Later she had said that guardian headquarters had received a call saying that several hundred Strigoi had intruded into Court boundaries and were on their way to the center. It was unthinkable. It had never happened. It could never happen. Court was the safest place for Moroi on the whole surface of the earth. Well, maybe except for some regions where they have sun all year round. But Court should be impenetrable. There were wards, there were guardians… No Strigoi should even come enough to Court to be allured by all the Moroi living here. If there really was a Strigoi attack, this was the end of the world as we knew it.

In the beginning of our confine here, I hadn't believed the news were true. A Strigoi attack on Court? Couldn't happen. I had been sure that this was just a precaution, an exaggerated safety measure initiated by a guardian who had heard the word 'Strigoi' and jumped to extreme conclusions. But as soon as Serena had activated this radio device, we had realized that there was definitely something going on. There was a hue and clamor in guardian headquarters that I had never experienced, and never thought I would. What we heard sounded nothing like the usual composed flurry of motion that I had seen in the events of an emergency mission. This must be pure chaos. People had screamed. It had sounded more like there already was a fight in the middle of guardian headquarters control room.

Whatever was going on out there, it was bad. It was horribly, shockingly, dreadfully bad. It was something that made guardians scream in terror, and that meant bad. Bad as in there might be no one left alive when we left this bunker and appeared at the earth's surface again. There must be death and murder all over Court.

And Christian and Dimitri were out there. They were right there in the middle of it, whatever 'it' was. And even if I hadn't known that those two would do anything but hiding, I would have known that they were in danger, because if they enclosed me in here, there must be no other place in Court that was completely safe. And Christian and Dimitri would be right in the thick of it, they'd be doing anything to defend themselves and Court and us.

When we got out of here, Christian and Dimitri might no longer be alive. They might be dead already, lying somewhere in a ditch with their necks broken or their blood sucked out of them right now.

It took us a few minutes to realize what the world must be like out there. It took us a couple of hours to realize that all our frantic pacing and screaming and agitating did us no good. My heart rate had normalized again, and my breathing was almost back to normal from my earlier hyperventilating. This was only because my body couldn't keep up anymore. My mind was still racing and shaking, my mind was noticing a stark contrast between the peace of my body and the war within my head. I was thinking Christian, Christian, Christian, and my thought were prayers for his life that I didn't even know what or whom they were directed at. There had been one time in my life when I had been equally as afraid for someone: when Rose was in surgery after intercepting the bullets Tasha had let loose. But then, I had known what happened, I had had updates on her, I knew people were trying to save her. Now, I had nothing. We had had no news since we had locked ourselves here, and the temptation to just go and throw the three feet thick door wide open to see what was going on was increasing by the second. There was a point when I had thought that Rose would break out a fight with Serena to get out.

Rose was having an even harder time than me. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be out there fighting, she wanted to have Dimitri's back through all of this. I didn't resent her; I was as safe as I could get in here. No one could open the door from the outside. Dimitri was anything but safe. Rose must feel so useless locked in here, doing nothing while everyone else was fighting for their lives. She was still pacing, unable to stop her body from moving, needing to channel her energy somehow. Her face was a grim mask, her fury at her containment and her fear thinly veiled. Serena sat next to the radio, listening intently for hours, never relenting in her attempt to discern even the tiniest scrap of information that could give us a hint as to what was going on.

My thoughts were going in circles. One minute, they were telling me that there was no way Christian could survive the onslaught of several hundred Strigoi. _Don't get your hopes up. You'll only get the news of his death._ The next minute, I would scold myself for even thinking this. _Don't give up on him. You know he can fight. _

"Are we even going to know when it`s over?" Rose asked, her voice taut and nervous. She was so tense she seemed about ready so snap in two any minute.

"If we have no news," Serena said, "we will go out when the sun has risen."

We could probably stay in here forever; there was food stacked somewhere and a toilet in a tiny bathroom next door. No one had bothered checking it out yet.

"How long have we been in here now?" I asked. My voice came out small, not at all queenly.

"Five ours," Serena said after consulting her watch. "We locked the door at about nine p.m. It's two now.

"The sun will rise at about eight," remarked Rose. "That's still forever."

After that, we counted the hours. At three a.m., Rose was still pacing. At four, Serena thought she could make out the phrases 'draw back to the palace' and 'block four still secure'. At five thirty, we were lucky enough so overhear a conversation some guardians must be having very close to our signal receptor.

"Lock it!"

"Get me a bandage"

"Faster"

"No, don't! It'll draw them here."

"Steady, Dan, you'll be alright."

They appeared to be two guardians bringing a wounded third one there for safety. I realized only then that the static we heard through the radio had become much quieter. There seemed to be no more guardians left in headquarters.

With the first conversation we overheard, the bubble of voices started to rise again. We guessed that guardian headquarters was probably used as some sort of sick bay now. We spent the next two hours hanging over the radio, all three of us barely daring to breathe for fear of missing something. When suddenly the volume of the device flared up on us, we all jumped a step back.

"You majesty?" came an abrupt voice over the intercom.

Serena was the first to react. "This is the queen and her guardians speaking. What is happening?"

The same hard voice answered swiftly, concentrating on relaying information without wasting time on majesty-talk or sugarcoating. "We think that the only places there are still Strigoi are on the palace forecourt, Moroi housing areas and the administrative area. Fights are still going on. No casualty count. Waiting for sunrise to regroup."

"Can we come out?" Rose immediately asked.

"No. Wait for four hours after sunrise to come out. We need to make sure no Strigoi are left hiding in the buildings."

We heard a clang that must have originated from our mouthpiece being slammed somewhere. The technology connecting this room to guardian headquarters had probably not been updated for half a century.

There was only unintelligible murmur on the other end, but all three of us still stared at the old-fashioned radio. This piece of news could have come straight from the moon, so far away it felt. Somewhere out there, battles were coming to an end. People who were still alive now might still be alive to see the end of this day. Many others would be dead.

With only minutes left for the defenders to fight, the tension in our little confines rose to an unbearable peak. How would we endure another four hours in this ignorance? Hope and despair still warred within me; if Christian was still alive, he might be saved. Or he might already be amongst the dead.

Two hours after sunrise, Rose's tension started to assume alarming proportions again. I wondered how Serena managed to sit still. I was a nervous wreck by that time. I desperately wanted to get out of here, but I was scared out of my mind when I thought about what I would see outside.

Three hours into sunrise, Rose finally snapped.

"I need to get out," she said simply, but with a voice that was a hair's breath away from either breaking into a scream or choking up completely.

"One more hour," Serena said.

"No," Rose said. "I need to get out now. The sun is out. We can venture out now."

"Guardian headquarter said…"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT GUARDIAN HEADQUARTERS SAID," Rose erupted. "It's chaos out there. No one knows anything. Four hours was an approximation. We can leave now."

"Serena," I interfered in a quiet voice. "Please. Let's get out."

We never got to know whether Serena would have given in to us. Just as she was about to open her mouth, there was a bang at the thick concrete door, barely audibly though presumably very strong.

"Your majesty?" A muffled voice said. "Can you hear me?"

I exchanged a glance with the others. "Yes!" I shouted back to make myself heard through the concrete.

"The building is secured. You can come out now."

Rose hesitated. Instead of barging right through the door, as I would have expected, she shared a suspicious glance with Serena.

"He could be Strigoi," she said. "We can't tell by his voice."

"True," Serena acknowledged. "But how can we find out?"

Rose turned back to the door. "Why do you serve the queen?" she shouted.

"What?" was the astonished answer.

"You heard me."

"I serve the queen because she stands for the good of our people, and because she rules with wisdom and kindness and I want to see her rule for many years to come." I thought I recognized the baffled voice as Carl's now.

"He's safe," Rose said. I didn't question her call when it came to Strigoi, and that went for sketchy audio-Strigoi tests as well. I moved to open the door.

Rose and Serena quickly pushed in front of me; they were still suspicious. The door swung open to reveal Carl, as I had thought. He looked horrible. Not only did he look exhausted to the point of falling asleep on his feet. One could see the remnants of a battle clearly on him. There was blood and dirt all over him; some of the blood was his, as became evident from several scratches and cuts on his skin. There was a haunted look in his eyes that told me that he didn't quite believe this battle had ended yet.

My powers were blocked due to my medication; there was nothing I could do about his injuries. There was only one thing I could go: I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him.

He didn't even seem taken aback for a second that there was a queen clinging to his neck. He just returned my hug with the readiness of people who were desperately in need of some comfort. All the same, he was a guardian; his ever present alertness made him draw back from me soon and address us all.

"It's been a bloodbath out there. There really is no safe place right now, but some Moroi are already working on new wards. We're clearing up now, trying to save whom we can. There aren't really any commands as to what to do for your safety, but you wouldn't want to stay in there forever," he explained.

"Right," Rose said. "We need to find them." I didn't need to ask who 'them' were. We started to ascend the stairs up to the ground floor.

"How many guardians did we lose?" I asked Carl.

He swallowed. "We don't know yet. Estimates are between a hundred and a two hundred and fifty. There are many injured, and we haven't registered them all, so we can't be sure."

Up to two hundred and fifty dead.

"What about the Moroi?"

"Most managed to get indoors on time. There were deaths, and there were also Strigoi who managed to enter buildings, but overall, the number of Moroi casualties is low."

"Do you know anything about Dimitri or Christian?" Rose asked.

"No," Carl said. "I know there were a lot of fires, but that's all. I didn't really see much more than my opponents."

He was clearly shaken. Still, we had to question him; he was our only source of information now. His description of the battle made me have to suppress the urge to vomit.

The palace entrance hall was eerily empty. I had never seen it without people in it. When we went out into the light, the picture was… unexpected.

I had pictured bodies lying on the ground all over Court. I had expected the dead to be left where they had fallen, Strigoi bodies intermingled with guardian bodies. I had forgotten that Strigoi bodies disintegrated as soon as full sunlight fell on them. Looking over the palace forecourt now, I could see no bodies at all. The ground was unusually dusty, and there were signs a fight had taken place: burn marks every here, scorched trees, large chunks of earth missing from the ground. But no bodies.

In contrast to the inside of the palace, this place was busy. People were running around; I could see almost only Moroi. Many were supporting guardians. They were bringing them to the infirmary.

The infirmary, I realized, was the center of activity right now. Of course. Close to everyone who had been in the battle must have been injured, or be at least so exhausted that they had no strength left to help their injured fellows. It was the Moroi, who had not been in battle, who were sorting out the mess now.

"The infirmary," I said. "That's where they'll be." If they were still alive. I don't know where they carried the dead.

We were already setting off for the hospital when I realized that Carl could no longer keep up with us. He was utterly spent.

"Carl," I said. "Where can you go to sleep?"

"I don't know…" He swayed on his feet.

"Go to my apartment. Palace seems to have stayed relatively safe."

He nodded and left. Finally, we could continue. Rose was almost exploding with impatience, but she wouldn't leave me alone.

The hospital was buzzing with people. A few injured guardians were still being brought in, but most of them must already be here. Moroi and dhampirs were crowding the hall, lining up in front of the reception desk, where some Moroi nurses were doing their best to help them. All of those people were looking for friends and family, like us, I realized. We got into the line, unnoticed because without my usual six or more guardians around me, I was a lot more inconspicuous. It was pretty clear from the speed of our advancement whom the nurses could tell the whereabouts of their loved ones and whom they couldn't; if the person they were looking for had been entered into the hospital's patient list, they left quickly for the room they'd been told. If there was not entry about the person, they kept asking questions and tried to make the nurse give them more information.

I guess the infirmary was as much in chaos as the rest of Court. Briefly, I wondered if I should have tried to get Council and government stuff sorted out instead of looking for my boyfriend. But aside from the fact that that would have been impossible for me to do, I wasn't sure I could get anyone to work right now anyway, and emergency procedures were largely down to guardian headquarters. Nonetheless, I started to compose a list of things I'd have to do while we were slowly progressing in the line; it was better than keeping my mind on all the ways Christian and Dimitri might have died last night. We would have to see to more regular warding, for once. And having guardians patrol the outside of the Court's borders might be a plus.

The haggard nurse behind the reception desk looked like she had been through a battle of another kind. When we reached her, Rose blurted Dimitri's name first, leaning towards her to read what her computer said.

"Dimitri Belikov," she repeated, entering the name into a searching field. "No entry," she murmured. "Wait, I'll try different spellings…no. Any identifying characteristics?"

"He's tall. 6'7," Rose volunteered. The nurse typed again.

"Anything else?"

"He's remarkably good looking and wears a funny coat."

"They didn't record this… But we have three especially tall dhampirs. This building, rooms 713, 145, and there's no room number recorded for the third. You can go and see if one of them is your guy."

Rose almost started sprinting towards the elevator when she remembered that I was still there, too.

"Christian Ozera, Moroi, black hair, blue eyes, specializes in fire," I told the nurse. I bit my lip while she typed the information into her computer.

"I'm sorry, there is no patient with the name or characteristics. Can you tell me more identifying characteristics?"

"He probably wore black… must have been with Dimitri Belikov…" I racked my brain for more. "He'd have been active in the fight…"

"No, I'm sorry," the nurse repeated. "You might want to look in the dhampir guest housing building next door, we appropriated it for lightly injured cases. Scarcely anybody of them has been registered. He might also be here but hasn't been checked into the system, many patients currently aren't, or he isn't here."

We thanked the nurse and ceded our place for the next one in line.

"Okay, you go and look for Dimitri, I'll look for Christian in this other building," I told Rose, then pushed her towards the elevator and took off before she could remember that she was the last guardian I still had around me. I was alone outdoors for the first time since being crowned queen. Despite the worry nagging at me, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely.

There were less nurses, but even more searching people in the appropriated dhampir housing building. Many people had been sent there to look for their loved ones. I saw some people leave in tears; they had not found whom they had been looking for.

I started systematically checking one room after the other, starting with the ground floor and working my way up. I realized that nurses were also going from room to room to check on the occupants. Whenever a room was already filled with visitors, I knew it was the wrong one when I didn't recognize any of them. Thankfully, everyone who had been put here was only mildly injured, so the people I barged in on lying in beds in these non-hospital but still eerily similar rooms weren't a shock. What was a shock was not seeing Christian, each time I entered another room.

The building could house about four hundred people, which meant a lot of rooms to search. There weren't nearly enough dhampirs just visiting Court to fill it, and the rooms were too small and bland to use it for anything else, so the building stood empty. Not every room was occupied now, everything making the impression that people had been put into a bed here randomly, without anybody remembering who was where and how many people there were at all. By the time I had gone through four floors, the ice in my stomach started to freeze up all my body. The lump in my throat grew bigger and when I ran up the stairs one more floor, I could barely get enough air through.

There was dhampir man getting up in the first room; he didn't seem badly injured. The next held a Moroi girl sleeping in a bed, another one sitting next to her, looking up in alarm at my interruption. I found Mia in one of the rooms; I went in to check on her, but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully despite the blood I found on her face that I couldn't tell the origin. There was no Christian in the fourth floor. I ascended to the fifth floor and started anew.

First door. Several guardians crowding around one in the bed. Second. A sleeping dhampir woman. Third. A guardian in bed and a woman holding his hand. Fourth. Christian.

He was lying on the bed fully dressed, and he looked terrible. There was blood, soot, and dirt on his clothes, and his face was scratched bloody on one side. He was lying on his side facing the door, on top of the covers, even his shoes still on his feet.

I was kneeling by the bed within a second, put my arms around him and pressed my head against his chest. I could feel his soft breath on my face and his hear his heartbeat; he was alive.

He was alive.

The surge of relief was so great it took away all my self-control. The tears I had kept back since I saw the carnage that had been Court started flowing, and all I could do was trying to ease my sobs so I wouldn't wake him up. I woke him up anyway; he opened his eyes, saw me and his arms came up around me and squeezed me close with desperate fierceness. I heard him take a sharp breath. He seemed to be trying to get as close to me as he could, curling his body around me and bumping his head against mine. My sobbing stopped the instant I felt his need, and I held him tightly, as tightly as I possibly could.

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's okay, it's okay, it's all over. It's all over. Oh, god. Oh god, thank god you're okay. It's okay…" I think I whispered comforting nonsense for a long time, but it could have been just one minute as well, because I time mattered so little right now. I didn't let go of him when he suddenly drew back from our tight embrace and sat up groggily.

"Dimitri…," he mumbled. He was swaying slightly, putting his head in his hands dizzily. I noticed the slight tremble that usually betrayed when a Moroi hadn't fed for too long. "Is he okay? I lost him…"

I rose from the floor and sat beside him, rubbing his back soothingly. "Rose is looking for him. She'll find him."

"We need to go and look for him too. I think he was hurt."

"You're in no state to go anywhere. You need to sleep."

This made him notice his surroundings for the first time. He looked around himself confusedly.

"I don't know how I got here," he said wildly, seeming upset by the fact that he had gaps in his memory.

"Someone must have brought you," I told him calmly.

"We need to find Dimitri," he repeated. He got up from the bed and walked a few wobbly steps before I caught him.

"Christian, you need to stay here and rest. I can go and look for Rose and Dimitri." Although it would break my heart to leave him now.

He just shook his head and staggered out into the corridor. I could do nothing but follow him, and try to support him so he wouldn't collapse. He seemed to be alright, though; dizzy and weak, but well enough to walk with a few balance aids.

"Did you feed?" I asked him.

"I think so," he said. "I don't really remember much after finding Dimitri, but I'd be feeling worse if I hadn't."

He didn't seem to know where to go; when I led him out of the building and directed him to the infirmary next door, he got his bearings back a little.

"How were you… did you stay somewhere safe?" he asked before we ventured back into the turmoil that was the infirmary entrance.

"Rose and I and Serena were in some sort of bunker," I said. "We were safe." I didn't know how to ask him how he had fared during the attack. He had obviously gone through one hell of a night; how could I ask about this?

"We were only worried for everyone outside. I was so afraid for you," I told him instead. "I'm so glad you're okay." I knew he wasn't; no one was, but he would be. He was alive.

I remembered only half the numbers the nurse had told Rose; 145, something on the seventh floor, and somewhere in the dhampir building. I think I would have seen Rose if she had gone there. We checked room 145; neither Dimitri nor Rose were in there. When we got out of the elevator on floor seven and went down the right wing of the corridor, we saw her standing in front of one of the rooms. She came running at us as soon as she saw us.

"Christian! Thank god you're alive!" she exclaimed. In a very uncharacteristic show of affection for him, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him impulsively. He staggered at the impact, and both she and I immediately reached out to steady him.

"Woa," Rose said quietly. "Feeling as bad as you look like, aren't you?"

"Did you find Dimitri?" I asked. Rose's face grew frantic again.

"He's in there, but there's a huge bandage around his head and he's unconscious and he won't wake up, and I can't find anybody who can tell me what's wrong with him!"

She walked on ahead and disappeared into one of the rooms. I followed more slowly with Christian. We entered the room to find Rose bending over an unresponsive Dimitri, who was lying in a hospital bed with a bandaged head, but still in his battered everyday clothes.

"He just won't wake up," Rose said. She was pretty close to tears.

"They treated him," I tried to calm her. "Someone must know what's wrong with him."

"It's chaos out there, no one knows anything," she cried.

At that point, I had to come to Christian's rescue, who was swaying badly and clinging to the doorframe for support. There was no chair, so I eased him down to the floor, where he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Rose said confusedly, but gently. "Did you feed?"

Christian just nodded slightly to this, not really clarifying much. I crouched down next to him and made him listen to me.

"Christian, I'm going to look for a doctor who can tell us about Dimitri. Will you be okay?" Nodding again. "Do you need a feeder again? I can probably find you one, and a blanket or something so you can sleep."

"I'll be okay, no need."

I planted a kiss on his forehead before I got up. He held on to my hands for a moment, as if reluctant to let me go.

I think Rose hadn't wanted to go far from Dimitri, because as soon as I rounded a corner, I found a multitude of nurses and doctors. They were milling around the rooms with the more badly injured people, I guessed. I walked up to one at random and started by asking her whom I had to ask for the patient in room 713. After going through a good portion of the medical staff, I returned to Dimitri's room.

Rose and Christian both looked up at my entrance.

"They say he came in with a laceration on the head and he's been diagnosed with a bad concussion. They didn't really have that much information, but they said not to worry, he'll wake up in time," I relayed my news.

Rose seemed mildly relieved, but not entirely at ease yet, and Christian just slumped a little more. I sat down on the ground next to him and let him lean on me. It could be a long wake. Christian soon fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, and Rose and I sometimes talked in low voices, but we mainly just waited in silence. I think it wasn't that long before Rose softly asked: Dimitri?" and a deep sleepy voice answered. I didn't move to let Christian sleep, so I didn't catch most of their murmured conversation, but it seemed like Dimitri was lucid. And alive, above all.

I almost couldn't believe our luck. That we had both been able to find our partners alive and more or less unharmed was nothing short of a miracle to me.


	30. Cleaning Up

DIMITRI

My head really hurt. That was the first thing I became aware of. The next was a feeling of nausea that I tried to suppress quickly, because I was very sure that vomiting would require a degree of movement that I just wasn't ready for yet.

"Dimitri?"

Rose's voice. My Roza. Good. Everything was well. Rose was here.

What I wanted to say was something like, "Yes, my love," but what I did utter was entirely unintelligible even for me.

"Open your eyes, comrade. I really need to see your eyes right now."

Okay, of course I would do that for her. I forced my eyelids to open, but it was a surprisingly difficult thing to do. I was rewarded when the first image I lay eyes on was Rose's face with a smile coming over her features.

"Dimitri," she said again. Her voice was a whisper.

"Roza." The word came out all right.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts."

"Yeah, I guess."

"But you're here. It's okay."

That made her smile even more. I felt her hand on the side of my face. Then, suddenly, my mind cleared up as if someone had used a Swiffer in there. I started to sit up.

"Christian," I said. "Is he alright?"

"Easy there, comrade," Rose said, alarmed. She pushed me back onto the bed; I realized that sitting up had not been a good idea at all, because my head was taking furious revenge for the unwanted movement.

"He's right here. So is Lissa. He's okay." I turned my head to follow her eyes to see Lissa sitting on the floor smiling up at me kindly, with a very ragged looking Christian leaning against her, head on her shoulder, sleeping.

"You're a nice pair, you two," Rose said. "Lissa said he jumped out of bed half-conscious and went looking for you when she couldn't tell him where you were. No need to let you both go bedless, though. You're staying."

After knowing them all safe, I had no objections. I settled back onto the pillow, got another good look at her angel-like face, and felt myself drifting off to sleep again.

...

"Only forty-two guardians dead?" I asked, incredulously. "Forty-two?"

I knew forty-two lives lost was a lot. Under normal circumstances, so many guardians lost would mean a calamity. It still was, of course. I still grieved for those forty-two brothers in arms that had given their lives for the defense of Court. But with the unprecedented masses of Strigoi that had taken part in this attack, forty-two was a miracle. Forty-two was next to nothing. Forty-two was a fraction of the amount of casualties I would have expected after what I saw.

Christian nodded. He was perched on a chair next to my bed, where I was propped up on some pillows.

"Twenty-six Moroi. Most of them had nothing to do with the fight, they just killed them on the sidelines. Two of our group are dead. Marc and Lena."

These were the first names I could put to the dead. Marc and Lena. The picture of a dead Moroi girl came back to me, lying on the ground surrounded by bodies. I had trained those two a lot in the past months. Their loss would weight heavy on the group.

"The cleanup is going fast. You wouldn't think a war had raged here when you see the palace forecourt now. It's a lot less work when all your slain enemies dissolve into dust the moment a sun ray touches them. They're even planting new flowers already. Wouldn't want to hurt royal eyes with the sight of a singed tree."

Christian was almost back to his usual self. Sarcastic, quick-witted; you would have to look for it to detect the note of new bitterness in his voice and expression. I did look for it. I knew he had been through even more than all the rest of us who had been in the battle. And that was saying something. I don't know what could leave a worse scar than killing someone you loved. Regardless of what she had been when she died.

"I don't believe her," I said out, of the blue. I knew he understood what I meant when his face grew hard and he started to avoid my gaze again.

"She was trying to distract you. You were putting up a good fight. She was using everything she had to get one over you."

"Are you really so sure or are you just trying to make me believe this?"

"Look, she was Strigoi when she told you she turned voluntarily. She would have had no qualms about lying to you. What she said was only meant to unbalance you."

"I wish I could believe that. But she did things I never would have expected of her before. Why wouldn't she do _that_?"

"Because she despised turning Strigoi more than anything for all her life. Just like you do. She might have made other grave mistakes, but I can't imagine her turning voluntarily. Never."

We both sat in silence for a while, until I remembered another question.

"Why didn't you use magic on her?" I asked him.

He barely looked up, still deep in thought over what I had said. "Didn't seem fair," he murmured. "She was the first one to teach me about offensive magic, after all."

Silence fell again between us. I'm not usually one to avoid the quiet, quite the contrary. Now, however, it was the thought of what went through Christian's mind that made me start talking again, purely to distract him.

"Do the guardians have any idea as to why the Strigoi did this?" I asked.

"Hans says they meant to destabilize Moroi society and take out so many guardians that Moroi outside of Court are no longer properly protected," Christian reported absent-mindedly.

"But they didn't count on the new kick-ass morality some Moroi are building up," Rose's voice came from the door. She and Lissa had had to attend hundreds of Council emergency sessions; after a major event such as this, there was a lot of political uproar to deal with.

"That's right," Lissa affirmed. "Hans estimates that the low guardian casualty rate is largely due to the involvement of so many Moroi."

"You guys may not do many kills yourself, but you make it a lot safer for guardians to fight," Rose continued. "Death rates would be several times as high if only dhampirs had fought."

"Glad to hear that," Christian said in an oddly flat voice.

"Also," Lissa began, "Strigoi prognosis specialists expect that there won't be any major attacks within the next decade or so."

"Because the failure of this attack must have the impression that Court is unconquerable?" I guessed. I had given this some thought, too. I didn't have all the information yet; it had only been a day since the attack, which I had spent sleeping, mostly. So the analyses and evaluations of the happenings had passed me by so far, but Lissa, and Rose by default, were the first to know. "They must have been sure to defeat us with an army as large as this. Loosing this battle must make them more cautious in the future."

"Right," Rose agreed. "And what with the number of Strigoi who died in the battle, there aren't many left who are ready to cooperate with others. What's more, the others are probably convinced that it isn't in their best interest to band together with others. This will reinforce their solidary lifestyle even more."

"The guardians think that there must have been a mastermind behind this," Lissa explained. "They are sure that they haven't been in the battle themselves, so the likelihood that their leader survived is large, but probably without consequence. They won't be able to instigate something like this again anytime soon."

Christian's eyes had gradually regained some of their spark over Rose and Lissa's explanations. "So, if we count our losses and set them off against how many lives will not be at danger because of today, we might even come out with an advantage there," he said cautiously.

"Yes," Rose affirmed. "It's hard to believe right now, but what you guys did out there was worth it. Not only for Court. For everyone."

"There'll be a service," Lissa said. "In honor of everyone who fought in the battle. The dead will be honored, but the living as well. The Moroi who took part in the battle too."

"And it will be open for everybody. Not a secret thing like they used to do," Rose added.

I liked the idea. There had been services in commemoration of slain guardians before, but they had been a hushed and formal affair. If Lissa orchestrated an event, it was sure to be an honest show of respect to my fallen colleagues.

"Hey guys!" A shy voice was calling from outside the open door. We all looked up to see Mia standing in the entrance. Her left eye was patched up; I didn't know what had happened to her in the battle, but she must have given her utmost like we all did. Both Rose and Lissa rose to hug her with the fervor you employ for someone who has been in mortal danger and survived.

"How are you doing?" Mia asked as soon as she had been invited to settle down next to Lissa on the foot of my bed. Rose had squeezed in next to me. The question wasn't only directed at me, but at Christian as well, though he chose not to answer. Just as he dodged all questions regarding his well-being today.

"He's remarkably quick to adapt to lying still," Rose answered for me. "Unlike Christian, who's been looking for things to fuss over as soon as he was back on his feet."

Yes, Christian hadn't given himself much time to recover from the battle. Lissa and Rose had no idea why he was trying to keep so busy; he hadn't told them about Tasha yet, and he had asked me not to. I don't know whether they had discovered Tasha's disappearance yet, or whether her transport had been lost amid the chaos, but she didn't seem to be missed yet by guardian officials. Like all other Strigoi bodies, hers had been turned to dust upon being touched by the sun. No proof existed of her death, nor of her turning Strigoi.

"I guess there's a lot to do," Mia said. "Though the guardians are almost back to normal already."

"They really have shown the extent of their dedication," Lissa said pensively. "So have you guys," she added to Christian and Mia. "I really don't know how to show my gratitude for this. You saved so many lives with what you did. It's beyond words."

"I think the guardians have a word or two to say to you, too," Mia said, looking at me and Christian in turn. I felt my eyebrows rise at this; what would they have to say to us? We did what everyone had done that night: we held on to dear life.

"What do they have to say to us?" Christian said my thoughts out loud. Now Mia's eyebrows shot up as well; then, realization seemed to dawn on her face.

"You guys have no idea what you did the other night, do you?" She said slowly.

"I think we have some idea, all right," Christian replied testily, his temper quick to rise but as quick to drop these days.

"No, I mean…" Mia mustered us, both of us. Then she shared a look with both Rose and Lissa, who listened intently but didn't seem as flustered as Christian and me. "What you did… you were amazing," Mia said, meeting our eyes in turn. "You were the heart of that battle. It almost seemed like you two finished off half of all the Strigoi there were… There wouldn't be as many survivors if not for the two of you." She still met our dumbfounded expressions with an earnestness that defied disbelief.

"I mean, people who've seen you… I swear, you were an inferno come to life. You were standing there right in the middle of the worst, and you were intimidating. You… Oh my. You showed us what teaming up in a fight really means."

Mia's eyes were shining with something that looked almost like admiration. She had stopped for lack of words, not for lack of things to say. Now she was looking at us, trying to gauge whether her speech had succeeded in conveying what she had wanted to say.

I think it didn't.

"Of course we did, we are in charge of organizing you guys, after all," Christian said bemused.

"No, Christian, you… You were great. You're a great team. You are." Mia seemed to have given up looking for words and contented herself with keeping it simple.

When we didn't have anything to say to that, she left, and was soon followed by Lissa and Christian. Rose stayed. She would stay until the nurses threw her out of the hospital for the night. They had been quick to assume control of their realm of healing again.

"She's right of course," she said. Sitting on the narrow hospital bed with me, she had to hold on to me so as not to keel over the edge. "You were amazing."

"I know it's selfish of me," I said. "But I'm glad you weren't in the battle. Thinking of you there… it would have distracted me. I wouldn't have been able to fight. I would just have been looking for you."

"Same old story," Rose said. "Putting each other first. One day it will happen, Dimitri. We will have to deal with it."

"I know. We would have to stay apart forever to eliminate the possibility."

"I was going crazy down there," Rose murmured. "I was so worried. And I couldn't do anything. It was the hardest thing not to be up there by your side and have your back."

"I can only imagine," I said. Being locked up protecting someone else when I knew Rose was in danger? It must be torture.

"Another thing we survived," Rose said. "I wonder how much more there will be before we'll have something like a peaceful life."

"Is that what you want?"

"No. But if I have a choice between that and fearing for your life, I'll take it."

"There will be no need, Roza. We'll stay together. Always."


	31. Honor

**This chapter came out so much soppier than intended… But we've come to the end of this story (or at least the story arc), so I hope you can join me in indulging in a little fluff and warm and fuzzies :-) **

LISSA

The ballroom hadn't been this crowded since the day they pronounced the candidates for the monarch's election. It had been crammed then. It was filled to the brim now. This was by far the biggest room available, and I was glad I had chosen it for the ceremony of honors for the guardians. There were as many people who wanted to show their esteem for what the guardians had done for us than there had been people interested in the election. The whole of Court must be out and about to attend today's congregation.

Although it was supposed to be their day of honor, there were still guardians on duty around me as well as to secure the large gathering of people. With what had gone down in Court, they kept an extra jealous watch over me. Other than the ones around me, every other guardian who had fought in the battle was gathered here, in the coveted rows directly in front of my and the Council members' seats. Many still showed signs of their wounds; I saw Dimitri in the third row with a white patch on his forehead. The fighting Moroi sat around the edges of the dhampirs. I had asked them to sit up front, too, but it seemed like they had ceded the center to the guardians. It was a nice gesture; even though the victory of this battle had been made possible through their actions, they had given the stage to the guardians, who had put their lives in the service of Moroi protection for centuries.

Amongst the crowd, I could see many more dhampir women than usually present at Court. Female guardians were a rarity, dhampir women often deciding to raise children in an effort to preserve their race. Today, the families of the fallen and the survivors alike had come to witness what was the first public tribute to dhampir service in decades.

During the days that had led up to this event, I had racked my brain to come up with a way to adequately show my gratitude. What to say, what to do… I still had no idea how I would conduct this ceremony. But my feelings for all our defenders were real and deep, and I knew that I would find the right things to say and do when I would look into the faces of the people who had faced their worst nightmare so that I and other Moroi could live. When I would look into the eyes of those who had lost their loved ones in the battle.

The whole room with its several hundreds of occupants fell silent when I rose to my feet. I took a moment to survey the sea of faces turned towards me expectantly. I still found it hard to understand why all those people would willingly follow me of all people, to honor me as their queen.

"Never before have we experienced a situation like the one we faced four days ago," I began in a voice that carried easily over all those heads in their silence. "We have been confronted with an attack to the innermost sanctity our society holds dear, the one place we thought nothing could reach us."

I let my gaze wander over the faces of the guardians assembled before me.

"The reason we are here to tell of it today is that we have protectors who were willing to brave an onslaught of death in order to save us. The only reason that we live is that there were people willing to die for us."

The crowd was hushed, not a whisper disturbed my speech.

"Today, we want to honor those who laid down their lives in the battle for Court because they valued others' lives more than their own. We honor people who so were selfless they faced horrors so terrible they wouldn't have dreamed of it in their worst nightmares. Who were so brave to stand in front of those horrors and not recede until they died. Who kept going strong in a duty of their own choice to protect others until it cost their lives."

My gaze now wandered around the Moroi faces, who were more numerous that I had ever seen for an event that concerned dhampirs.

"We pay homage to their sacrifice today." I drew a breath. Enough queenly talk. What I felt for them couldn't be expressed in flowery phrases.

" I know we should have honored them more in life, not only in death. I know their families and loved ones will grieve for them, regardless of the brave manner of their deaths. I want them to know: I am so grateful for what they did for us. I am so sorry lives had to be lost for my own life to be protected. I know many of you feel the same way. We thank you. We are in your debt."

I paused, not for effect, but because the tears that welled up from some people in the audience stunned me for a second. There were dhampir women who let their tears flow with pride; some Moroi looked at me seriously with tears streaming down their faces freely. Everyone kept looking at me solemnly.

"But it is not only the dead that I want to honor today," I continued. "For too long we have only acknowledged how much the guardians are doing for us when they had given their lives for us. I want us to appreciate what they do for just as often as they give it to us: every single day of their working years. What the guardians did four days ago was much more than we could ever have expected from them."

Until now, I had been standing in front of my grand chair at the head end of the room. With my last words, I had walked forwards. The guardians currently on duty around me were either momentarily stunned by my speech or they didn't worry about me nearing the crowd when several rows of guardians separated me from the rest of it; in any case, not even Rose followed me as I walked up to the front row and stood only feet from the people I wanted to honor.

They watched me avidly, seeming too enthralled to be surprised by my sudden proximity. All their eyes were on my, and I tried to meet each pair of them as I walked past their rows.

"We do appreciate your service. We appreciate it so much. I know there are some who take what you do for granted. I don't. And I am not alone in this. Especially after this shock, that made it pretty clear where we would be without you."

I still stood in the midst of guardians when I addressed the Moroi and dhampirs in the back again.

"We could not survive without the guardians." This time, I really did pause for effect.

"It has been shown to us in all clarity. Without the guardians, this society would not survive."

I continued walking, passing the seated guardians to reach all those lining the walls to fulfill their duty today in securing this event.

"I want to thank the living as well as the deceased. I want to thank you for every minute you spent standing around a room like you do just now, only so as we can live in safety. I thank you for your work."

Walking around the lines of guardians, I passed Christian who was leaning against the wall with some of the Moroi fighting group at the edge of the guardian rows. One look into his eyes dissolved all doubts I might have had about my speech; they were shining with pride for me so brightly even I could not fail to notice. There was a break in my speech while I couldn't part my eyes from his. I hoped I was able to convey the pride I felt for him as clearly with my gaze.

"I thank you for your dedication. I thank you for how much you value our lives. I want to value your lives just as much as you value ours. I want everyone here to understand this: you owe them your lives. You owe them your lives maybe several times. One day, your children might owe their children your lives. Take care to remember this always."

The audience was still hushed when I returned to my seat.

I had the names of the dead guardians read, but not in the ceremonial way I had seen it done on another occasion. I had asked Ariana to do it. She had lost her one of her two guardians and was glad to have a way to show her respect for him and the others openly. Together with Hans, I had collected some personal information on everyone. Some were leaving behind grieving families; some had died protecting one of the Moroi who had been caught by the battle outdoors. I wanted to make them all individuals, not just a name read in order to fulfil a bothersome obligation.

After the dead, we heard the names of the living. There were many guardians who had fought in the battle; reading their names would take a while. I had expected that many people would leave now, before hearing the long list read, but it never happened. Almost everyone stayed to hear the names of our defenders called out loud.

The names of the Moroi who had fought were interspersed with the names of the guardians. I had not wanted to put them into an exposed position by separating them; also, I wanted them to be treated as the unity that they were. They had fought together. They should belong together.

When Christian's name was read, he seemed so close to me in spite of the distance that separated us across the room. Our eyes locked and I didn't know where to put all the pride and love that I had inside for him.

...

"That was beautiful," Rose said quietly, still standing behind my chair after I had ended the ceremony. People weren't leaving fast; many had stayed behind, some even walking up to the guardians to talk to them.

"I think no one has ever honored the guardians as touchingly as you just did."

"I'm glad," I said. "They deserve it."

Rose's name hadn't been among the ones' read. She hadn't taken part in the battle, after all, being holed up in a bunker with me. I knew she felt like she had not done enough to help us win, but she paid her tribute without hesitation. She would never begrudge the others what they deserved.

We both looked up as Hans came our way. I couldn't help searching his face for sign of approval; it mattered a lot to me whether he thought I had honored the guardians under his command appropriately. But his guardian mask was in place, and I couldn't read anything in him.

He didn't speak immediately. When he did, it was with a stiffness that made me realize he hid too many emotions under his mask to openly show. "Thank you," he said.

"I had thought that was my line for today," I replied.

"I appreciate you candor in stating the guardian's importance. But I also thank you for your personal take on this. It means a lot to us to have a queen who is not only aware of our service, but is personally and emotionally involved with dhampir matters, too."

He turned to look to all of his charges slowly getting up from their benches. When he turned back to us, there was a glint in his eyes.

"You might want to see this," he said.

He didn't leave time for questions, so I rose to follow him, and felt Rose close behind me. Hans was watching the guardians; I noticed Christian, who was walking over to where Dimitri was sitting. Being the injured one now, it was Dimitri's turn to accept assistance from him.

I think they wanted to cross over to us, but they didn't come very far. The guardians surrounded them, standing, forming a loose circle around them. There were Moroi among them, too, members of the fighting group. We were still a few steps up, on the raised platform where my chair usually stood in any representative room, so we had a good view on them.

"We have a few thanks to say, too," a guardian said. I only now recognized Mikhail; he had been in the battle and survived, as well.

"Many of us owe our lives to someone, too." That was Mia's voice, her small figure almost disappearing among the taller guardians. The two of them seemed to be the spokespersons for the whole group.

"We have all learned to fight, and this wasn't the first time we had a tough time with Strigoi," Mikhail continued. "But it was the first time we encountered a mass attack like this, and it was the first time we had to find ways of fighting them entirely unknown to us before."

Christian and Dimitri were standing in the middle of them, looking slightly cornered. Dimitri's impassive mask was as impenetrable as ever, but I could clearly see bewilderment on Christian's face.

"You were the first to warn us about the attack," Mikhail said. "And not only that. You were the ones who found a way to stop their advance long enough for us to organize a defense. You were the ones who showed us how to team up and fight with the Moroi." He had been looking at both of them in turn as he addressed them. "Without you, we wouldn't have stood a chance. We would have gone down."

"Same goes for us," Mia added quietly.

There was a moment of absolute silence, in which Christian and Dimitri clearly had no idea how to react. Then, someone in the back of the crowd gave a loud whoop.

This was when the solemnity of the situation broke. One by one, guardians broke into cheers and laughter. It was as if the tension of the last days fell away from them. Smiles and grins spread out on their faces; on Hans' too, I noticed when I spared him a glance. The only ones not yet smiling were Dimitri and Christian: they still looked floored. Well, Christian did. Dimitri looked mildly taken aback. But I knew that he must be just as dumbfounded. It was all Christian could do not to let his mouth hang open. I'm sure now would be a moment I could give him assurance just as he had given me earlier, but he didn't look at me, and just as I had started to give in to the urge to run to him and hug him, Dimitri reached out his hand and put it on Christian's shoulder.

Mia had been right: they were a great team. I could see this now in Dimitri's brotherly gesture, and in the ready way Christian accepted it; they had grown a lot together.

And they made one hell of a team.

DIMITRI

Normality had ambushed us. In the midst of all the chaos of the last days… college classes had started again.

I had had some trouble to wrap my head around the fact that life would go on as before. Rose and Lissa would leave, to go to school during the week, and return for the next weekend as they had now done countless times. We were back to routine, back to daily life. It had crept up on us while we were busy catching our breath.

However, it was Christian and me who would have to leave now. We had come to Lehigh with the girls, maybe because we were both unable to let go yet. It would mean a lot of time in a car for us; we had to return to Court the same night. But we hadn't been able to help ourselves.

"I'm not going to let you go," Lissa said. We were in their little apartment's living room, where she was clinging to Christian with a vengeance. "You'll have to stay."

"Hey, I have a say in that, don't I?" Rose teased. "We share a room, don't forget that!"

We were clinging just as tightly, despite her teasing. I was debating whether suggesting that Rose and I sleep on the couch might be a good idea.

"We should get camp beds," Christian suggested.

"As if we'd use them," Rose countered. "We'd always end up in the real beds anyways."

"Then maybe you should get another room?"

"That would be more like it."

"Can we go get it, then?"

Rose laughed at this, but then she got up and ushered me out of the room.

"Okay. Off to get a room," she said, and had me in front of the door before I could get a word in.

"What's the plan, Roza?" I asked. A devious smile appeared on her face.

"Oh, comrade," she said. "Where haven't we slept already? From a sofa in an ex-Strigoi's house, a tent in the remotest area possible, a village of a gang of odd recluses… we do not need a room. We can be together anywhere. There is no reason for you to leave tonight."

"Except maybe duty wanting me elsewhere?"

"No. Today, duty has no right to interfere. Tonight, duty is what you owe yourself."

"There is nothing I owe myself, Roza. I have given myself everything when I allowed myself to be with you."

"Stop the Zen-mastering. I have a cabin for us."

"You have what?"

Halfway on the way from the building to the little copse of trees that grew behind it, Rose spun around and stopped me.

"I originally wanted to wait for the one year anniversary of our last cabin to show it to you, but if anything, life recently taught me that you should never wait to do important things. Dimitri, let's just go there and for another hour or so, forget duty and everything else but our love."

* * *

**That's it. I finished my first story. The end is not quite as good as I would have liked it, but I haven't got any time to work on it for the next few weeks and I don't want to leave the story with only one chapter missing for this long, so I'm posting this now and maybe I will improve on it later. **

**I would really like to write a sequel to this, starting during The Fiery Heart all the way through Silver Shadows. I haven't read The Ruby Circle, maybe I will have read it by then, but I might prefer to just write my own take on what happened to Jill. It's not like I have been sticking to the bloodline series too correctly anyways, is it? ;-) I don't know whether I'll post it here in this story or whether I'll start a new one, but I'll notify you in this story, either way. **

**So! It's time to thank all of you again!**

**Thanks to everybody who read this story and who wrote me reviews! It's really helpful to know what you liked and what you didn't (although you were very nice and told me only what you liked, but that tells me that you didn't like what you didn't comment on :-) **

**Thanks also to everybody who followed me or favorited my story or me as an author! It's a great support so know that people actually want to read the next part of this!**

**I hope you enjoyed this story and that you will stay on board for the next on! I'm looking forwards to start posting again! :-) **


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